TIG Post

Tag: Sex

  • Sex: How long should you wait before having another round?

    How long you have to wait before you’re ready to get the action going again depends on an individual or the couple.

    For both men and women, there is a physical resolution after orgasm. This is when the body returns to its normal, pre-excitement state — muscles relax, and blood pressure and heart rate drop.

    How long does a man have to wait?

    In men, the penis loses its tumescence, and sexual desire, having been satisfied, disappears, according to the International Society for Sexual Medicine. During this refractory period, a man is incapable of becoming hard again and doesn’t respond to sexual stimulation.

    The refractory period is thought to be triggered in men by a surge of prolactin, a hormone secreted by the pituitary gland, along with a drop in testosterone (per Men’s Health). Together, along with the involvement of the nervous system, these hormones cause a physiological state of being unable to have an erection.

    How long the refractory period lasts depends on a variety of factors, with a salient one being age. Young men in their 20s may only require a few minutes before they can have another erection, while men in their 30s and 40s may need 30 to 60 minutes or longer. It also varies from man to man, as well as the kind of sexual activity that led to orgasm.

    How long does a woman have to wait?

    One study found that the surge of prolactin released after orgasm was 400 percent higher when the orgasm resulted from intercourse than when it resulted from masturbation. This could mean that climaxing after intercourse may lead to a longer refractory period than one after self-pleasure.

    It’s known that women also experience a surge of prolactin after orgasm, suggesting there might be a physiological refractory period. One study of 174 university students found that 96 percent had clitoral hypersensitivity after orgasm, which made them averse to further clitoral stimulation (per The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality). This is similar to the penile sensitivity men experience after climaxing. Despite these findings, women can be multi-orgasmic.

     

    Source: Pulsenews

  • How to have the best sex if you live with your parents in the same house

    Having sex when your parents are sleeping in the next room sounds absolutely awkward.

    Our parents want us to have children but they look at us in another way if they know we are having sex.

    You and your wife or husband have to have sex, but is really awkward when you wake up and your parents give you a shameful look.

    If you are in that situation too where you have parents in the next room and it is awkward for you to even mention anything related to sex, let alone standing very close to your partner then worry not, we have some tips that will help you out.

    Scroll down to know these tips on having sex if you live in the same house with your parents.

    • Do it on the floor

    Instead of the creaking bed, you could try having sex on the floor itself. Throw in a few blankets and some lush cosy pillows to make it cosy and comfortable. This prevents the squeaky sounds or the headboard banging and you can do it easily.

    • Add some background music

    Just to avoid any awkward situation, it’s best to play some background music.

    You can turn on the radio or TV for the best cover-up. Just keep it real and normal so that it does not look out of place.

    • Do it in the bathroom

    If your bathroom is in your room then bolt your room from inside and head to the bathroom for a hot one-on-one. You could make a routine where you wait for your parents to retire to their bedroom even if for an afternoon nap and then do it in the bathroom.

    • Try weekend trips

    The best way to have fun, take it slow or experiment without meeting your parents in the hallway while you are at it, would be to take weekend trips.

    Try a hotel in the corner of their city or any suitable place away from home. You could call it a night out at a friend’s place but go to the place instead.

     

     

    Source: Pulse

  • How long is too long without sex in a relationship

    Sex is a human need.

    It may not be the only factor in a happy and healthy marriage, but it does hold quite some value.

    Every orgasm is known to release oxytocin, which is also known as the love hormone. The hormone is known to help improve heart health, reduce stress, limit the risk of mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety, and better sleep quality.

    Sometimes, couples agree not to have sex or they stop having sex.

    The question: Is sex a big part of a relationship and what happens when a couple doesn’t have sex for a long time? Is it normal to be in a relationship with no sex and how long is too long?

    Read this article to know how often couples should have sex and how long they can do without it.

    What happens when you don’t have sex for a long time?

    If you are going through a prolonged spell of no sexual activity, you could potentially be storing up a host of problems.

    Not having sex can be bad for you? There are many ways that a lack of action can affect your body.

    Sex is a powerful thing. It has the power to improve your mood and even whittle your waistline, and sex once a week can even increase longevity. But what if you’re not having regular sex—or any sex at all? The health effects of celibacy vary based on your health, how old you are, and even what kind of sex you were having but you will likely see some impacts.

    How often should a couple have sex?

    It’s completely natural to have insecurities around how much sex you and a partner engage in. But, it’s important to keep in mind each relationship is different, with varying sexual needs.

    More sex does not always equal a better relationship. Instead, focusing on the quality of sex, your connection with a partner, and what’s best for your relationship can make your bond stronger.

    Can a relationship survive without sex?

    It is not surprising to hear about sexless marriages. Most couples enjoy much sex at the beginning of their relationship but this can diminish over time as other things, including children, demand your energy and attention.

    While sex has its benefits, how important it is will greatly depend on an individual couple. If you are not interested in sex and you don’t need it to be happy, you can be in a sexless relationship. This should happen only if you both have agreed to it.

    How long is too long without sex in a relationship?

    The amount of time one can stay without sex varies from one person to another.

    Ultimately, there is no right amount of sex that one can have, and going for long without having sex should not impact your health negatively. However, it can take a toll on a relationship if the lack of sex makes one or both partners unhappy or affects the entire relationship.

    Studies have shown that couples that have sex at least once a week are happier than those that don’t get intimate once a week. Depending on the reason for having less sex.

    Meanwhile, don’t focus on how much and when to have sex in a relationship more than the feelings of intimacy and closeness you enjoy. You would rather enjoy satisfying and thrilling sex, even if it means once a month than have lots of bad sex that will only leave you unsatisfied.

     

    Source: Pulse

  • Asenemaso residents turn classrooms to sex grounds

    Hon Mensah Muller Amankwah, Assemblyman for Asenemaso Electoral Area has disclosed that the classrooms of Asenemaso Junior High Schools in the Atwima Nwabiagya South district are now being used as sex grounds by the residents of the area.

    The Assemblymember said students of the school are always seen playing with the used condoms every morning before the arrival of their teachers; a situation which seems dangerous and has increased especially during this COVID-19 season.

    The Assemblymember who confirmed the story in an interview said the matter had been reported to the leaders of the community, as well as the authorities but there was no positive response.

    “This has made the classrooms unfavourable for teaching and learning before the lockdown of the schools,” Hon Muller told Silver News adding that some residents have also made the corridors of the school “wee” base.

    “I once confronted those wee smokers but they insulted me.”

    Asenemaso Junior High Schools has no fence wall, thereby making it convenient for residents to use the place for their immoral act.

    Hon Muller, therefore, appealed to the Atwima Nwabiagya South district and Regional Education Directorate to help address the aforementioned challenges affecting the school before all schools reopened.

    He again called on stakeholders and benevolent organisations in the educational sector to provide infrastructure for the school including toilet facility for the students.

     

    Source: Kasapa FM

  • Sex is for married people only – Diana Hamilton

    Diana Hamilton, a multiple award winning and Billboard charting gospel musician recently made some bold statements concerning sexual immorality on an Instagram Live Session with Nana Adwoa Sarkodie.

    The ‘Mo ne yo’ hitmaker described sexual immorality to be everything sexual that happens outside the confines of marriage. She further explained that sexual immorality is a sin against self and God which makes it more dangerous than other sins because God could easily forgive us but it becomes difficult to forgive ourselves.

    She advised young people not to spend intimate times with their partners at their homes since that could easily trigger them into having sex. Describing the situation as a matchstick and petrol put together, it will surely ignite.

    When asked about the time range for getting to know someone. Mrs. Diana Hamilton answered by saying “There is no specific time rule for getting to know someone because you can never know them all in all. People change by the day”. However, she insisted six (6) months may be too limited because this period is usually used to undergo counseling from Church. In addition, she admonished single people to work on improving themselves while they wait for their Mr or Mrs Right.

    On why it’s important to get to know someone very well before getting married or having sex, she gave a scenario where for instance you meet someone in the UK, without knowing them, you proceed to have sex only to come back home and realise the person is your cousin.

    Furthermore, she explained that marriage is between two individuals but actually between two families hence the importance for the family of your spouse to love you.

    “If you’ve defiled every girl you met, why do you want a virgin for marriage?” She quizzed in response to a question from a viewer. “Sex is the last thing to sustain a family, don’t rush into sex when there is so much to be learnt from your partner. If you’re going to be “test-driving” (having sex with every partner), then you’re not ready for marriage”; she said in response to another question.

    Finally, she promised to support a young lady who is faced with the challenge of losing her university scholarship from a married man who asks for sex in return for the sponsorship. Diana Hamilton Foundation was set up to help people in such situations, she added.

    The hour long Instagram Live session ended with a powerful sinners prayer said with over 1,400 viewers.

     

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    A post shared by Nana Adwoa Sarkodie (@nanaadwoasarkodie) on

    Nana Adwoa Sarkodie is a prolific MC, TV Host and Content Developer. She started the Instagram Live sessions a month ago to inspire young people on living a Godly lifestyle as she discuss different range of topics with seasoned men and women of God. Catch her live on new episodes every Wednesday and Friday at 7pm via @nanaadwoasarkodie on Instagram.

    Source: Nana Adwoa Sarkodie, Contributor

  • Coronavirus and sex: What you need to know

    If I have sex can I catch coronavirus? You might have thought about it but been too embarrassed to ask. To separate the facts from myths, we’ve put your questions to health experts.

    Dr Alex George is an A&E doctor and former Love Island contestant. Alix Fox is a sex journalist, presenter of BBC Radio 1’s Unexpected Fluids show, and co-host of The Modern Mann podcast.

    Alix Fox and Dr Alex George answered some of the questions around sex and coronavirus that are being searched for online

    Is it safe to have sex during the coronavirus outbreak?

    Dr Alex George: If you’re in a relationship… living with that person, and sharing the same environment, it shouldn’t change your situation. However if one of you is displaying symptoms of coronavirus then you should maintain your social-distancing and isolate, even within your home. In an ideal world everyone would stay two metres apart – even in their own house, but we realise this may not be realistic.

    Alix Fox: It’s also really important not to assume that if you are experiencing mild symptoms of coronavirus it will be the same for your partner. So, if you’re showing any symptoms whatsoever do try and stay away from your lover.

    What about sex with new people?

    Dr Alex: I certainly wouldn’t advise having new sexual partners at the moment, because the risk is you could pass on the virus.

    Alix Fox: Don’t forget as well, some people who are carriers of the virus won’t have any symptoms. So even if you feel absolutely fine… you could still pass on the infection to someone and they could pass it on to other people via close contact and kissing.

    I kissed someone I recently met, and they’ve gone on to develop symptoms. What should I do?

    Dr Alex: If you’ve kissed or been in contact with someone who you think has gone on to develop coronavirus, make sure you self-isolate. Keep an eye on your symptoms. If you are developing symptoms, then be extra careful. Go online to the nhs.uk website. Only call the 111 service if your symptoms are so bad that you need medical support from us.

    Alix Fox: We should be responsible with each other, and for ourselves in our relationships. If you’re somebody who has developed symptoms, and you know that you’ve kissed people recently, you should let them know. And even if you’ve kissed someone and they’ve got symptoms and you haven’t, you should also self-isolate.

    I wasn’t using condoms with my partner before coronavirus, should I start now?

    Alix Fox: The answer depends on why you weren’t using condoms.

    If you weren’t using condoms because you have both been tested for STIs, or you’re in a heterosexual relationship prior to menopause and are using another kind of contraception to prevent an unplanned pregnancy, then that’s fine. But if you weren’t using condoms because you were relying on something like the pull-out method – or you were taking chances with STIs – then it’s even more important that you use condoms now.

    Can I get coronavirus by touching someone else’s vagina or penis?

    Dr Alex: If you are going to touch each other’s genitals it’s likely that you will potentially be kissing at the same time – and we know the virus is passed through saliva. Essentially, any possibility of transfer of coronavirus – from your mouth to your hands, to genitals, to someone else’s nose or mouth – increases the risk of passing on coronavirus. We want to cut this back to the absolute minimum. So, no contact between a partner that you’re not living with is really important.

    How can I maintain a relationship at a time like this? I don’t want to be single now.

    Alix Fox: This whole pandemic is prompting a lot of people to rethink what a good sex life is and what constitutes as an enjoyable, pleasurable exchange. I’ve heard of people writing erotic stories to each other, and people who are dating but quarantined in different places taking advantage of the time and the distance. A lot of people have been getting really creative. If you use your imagination a little bit there are lots of ways you can have a sexy time without being face-to-face with somebody.

    It’s also important to remember that right now… some people might be discovering that they or their partners have different libidos. You might find yourself in a situation where you were only going on a date once a week, and suddenly you’re living under the same roof. You might find that you want sex when your partner doesn’t, or vice versa. It’s important to communicate this in a respectful, compassionate manner. Living together does not mean that you’re entitled to sex whenever you want. And for anybody who is in a situation where they’re with a partner and they’re not having a good time, because they feel like they’re being forced into sex, there are helplines available for that.

    Am I more at risk of catching coronavirus if I have HIV?

    Alix Fox: Dr Michael Brady at the Terrence Higgins Trust has provided some really great advice on this. If you are already on regular medication to manage HIV, and you have a good CD4 count (number of white blood cells to fight infection) and an undetectable viral load (the amount of HIV in the blood) then you’re not considered to have a weakened immune system. This means you run no additional risk of contracting coronavirus. So, if you’re HIV positive, continue taking your meds as you would do. Make sure that you follow the same rules as everybody else when it comes to things like isolation.

    SOURCE:www.graphic.com.gh

  • Sex robots may cause psychological damage

    US researchers have warned that the availability of sex robots with artificial intelligence (AI) poses a growing psychological and moral threat to individuals and society.

    They say the technology is escaping oversight because agencies are too embarrassed to investigate it.

    The scientists want action to prevent the unregulated use of such robots.

    Dr Christine Hendren of Duke University told BBC News that “the stakes were high”.

    “Some robots are programmed to protest, to create a rape scenario,” she said.

    “Some are designed to look like children. One developer of these in Japan is a self-confessed paedophile, who says that this device is a prophylactic against him ever hurting a real child.

    “But does that normalise and give people a chance to practise these behaviours that should be treated by just stamping them out?”

    Dr Hendren was speaking here at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science.

    A number of sex robots are advertised online. A US-based firm, Realrobitix, has posted a video marketing its Harmony robot for between $8,000 and $10,000.

    It is a life-sized doll which can blink and move its eyes and neck, and also its lips as it talks.

    Speaking with a Scottish accent, the mannequin says, “if you play your cards right you will have some pleasure and fun coming your way”.

    And the firm’s founder and CEO, Matt McMullen explains that Harmony has AI that enables “her” to develop a relationship with the owner.

    “She is going to remember things about you, your likes, your dislikes and your experiences,” says Mr McMullen.

    Kathleen Richardson, who is a professor of the Ethics and Culture of Robots and AI at De Montfort University in Leicester, wants this kind of marketing outlawed.

    “These companies are saying, ‘you don’t have a friendship? You don’t have a life partner? Don’t worry we can create a robot girlfriend for you’.

    “A relationship with a girlfriend is based on intimacy, attachment and reciprocity. These are things that can’t be replicated by machines,” she said.

    Prof Richardson advises a pressure group that has been set up to monitor the emergence of these products. The campaign against sex robots is working with policy experts to draw up legislation aimed at banning claims that companion robots can be a substitute for human relationships.

    “Are we going to move into a future where we keep normalising the idea of women as sex objects?” she told BBC News.

    “If someone has a problem with a relationship in their actual lives you deal with that with other people, not by normalising the idea that you can have a robot in your life and it can be as good as a person.”

    Source: bbc.com

  • Unprotected sex alarming among girls in Tano North Municipality

    Unprotected sex is contributing to a surge in teenage pregnancy in the Tano North Municipality of the Ahafo Region.

    Reports showed that more girls in the Municipality, some as low as nine years, could not complete their basic education because of unwanted pregnancies.

    In 2019, the Municipality recorded 306 pregnancies mostly between 13 and 17 years, 326 in 2016, 404 in 2017 and 437 in 2018.

    Mrs Freda Prempeh, the Deputy Minister of Gender, Children and Social Protection, raised the concern when she interacted with more than 1,000 students and pupils at a forum on Adolescent Sexual Health Rights held at Duayaw-Nkwanta in the Ahafo Region.

    The Ministry with support from the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) organised the forum to sensitise the participants on child right interventions, laws, conventions and protocols.

    Mrs Prempeh who is the Member of Parliament (MP) for Tano North, indicated that adolescent girls were particularly vulnerable in harmful practices and sexual and gender-based violence of all forms.

    She appealed to parents to collaborate with traditional authorities and teachers to monitor movements of girls in the area to help in the drastic reduction, if not total prevention of the teenage pregnancy menace.

    Education on sexual reproductive health care services must also be intensified in public schools for girls to understand and control their sexual behaviours, Mrs Prempehs said.

    Between 2000 and 2013, about 177,841 cases including rape, defilement, incest and compulsory marriages were reported to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police service, the MP stated.

    In addition, she said about 32 per cent of women and girls between 15 and 24 years thought that wife beating could be justified due to socio-cultural norms and stereotypes.

    Mrs Prempeh expressed regret that Ghana was among 29 countries in Africa and the Middle East where Female Genital Mutilation was still prevalence despite efforts being made to put an end to the practice.

    Among other visions, Mr. Faisal Bawa, Programme Assistant at the UNFPA said the UN agency worked to ensure zero maternal deaths in the country.

    He underscored the need to empower girls to be able to stand for their sexual and other human rights to enable them to become responsible women.

    By so doing, their lives would be devoid of any form of abuse, exploitation and harmful practices that impeded their growth and development, he added.

    Mr. George Yaw Ankamah, the Bono, Bono East and Ahafo Regional Director of the Department of Children, indicated that cases of child labour had reduced because many children had been enrolled in schools.

    He observed that the school feeding programme had been a contributor to increased enrolment in primary schools in the three Regions and called on the government to strengthen the programme.

    Mr. Ankamah reminded parents it was an offence to use their children for exploitative work, saying culprits would be prosecuted.

     

    Source: GNA

  • Only 34% of Nigerians use condoms during sex

    Only 34% of adult Nigerians surveyed in a national poll use condoms during sex.

    According to the survey carried out by NOIPolls, the results show that only 28% of the general population that uses condoms do so consistently.

    This is despite the fact that most of those surveyed said it was easy for them to purchase a condom if needed.

    Chike Nwangwu, NOIPolls CEO, told the BBC that religion and a partner’s refusal were the most common reasons given by respondents for not using condoms.

    “With regards to perception and attitude on condom, 63% of Nigerians stated that the first thing that comes to their mind when they hear the word condom is sexual pleasure, while 45% disclosed that they instantly think of promiscuity when they see someone with a condom,” he said.

    The survey including the following graphics to illustrate some of its findings:

    The data was drawn from 1,000 adults in a country of some 200 million people.

    The survey was conducted in partnership with Nigeria’s Aids Healthcare Foundation (AHF) and the National Agency for the Control of Aids (Naca) to mark International Condom Day on 13 February.

    Source: BBC

  • Lawrence Ray: US student’s dad charged for sex trafficking

    A man accused of abusing his daughter’s university roommates has been arrested in the US and charged with extortion, sex trafficking and forced labour.

    Prosecutors say Lawrence “Larry” Ray extorted some $1m (£771,000) from students at New York’s Sarah Lawrence College, abusing them “emotionally, physically, and sexually”.

    The charges were prompted by a story in New York magazine, which detailed the alleged workings of Mr Ray’s “cult”.

    Mr Ray, 60, has denied the allegations.

    He was arrested on Tuesday in the state of New Jersey.

    “For the better part of the last decade, we allege there was no limit to the abuse Ray’s victims received, and there is no way of knowing the amount of damage he may have caused them in the years to come,” said FBI Assistant Director William Sweeney.

    What are the accusations?

    According to New York magazine, the abuse started when Mr Ray showed up at his daughter’s university in 2010, after being released from prison, where he had been serving time on charges related to a custody dispute.

    The publication said his daughter described him to friends as a “truth-teller” who had been unjustly imprisoned. A former FBI informant, Mr Ray had been a close associate of former New York police chief Bernard Kerik. The pair fell out and Mr Ray cooperated with authorities in a high-profile corruption case against Kerik.

    Mr Ray moved into his daughter’s dormitory, where prosecutors say he presented himself as a father-figure and began conducting “therapy” sessions.

    During the sessions, he allegedly learned intimate details about the students’ private lives and mental health struggles. He alienated several of them from their parents, persuading some to move into a Manhattan apartment and convincing them that they were “broken” and needed his help.

    After gaining their trust, prosecutors say Mr Ray subjected his victims to interrogation sessions in which he falsely accused them of harming him by attempting to poison him or damage his property. He allegedly demanded confessions, using tactics including sleep deprivation, sexual humiliation and physical violence.

    On one occasion, after accusing a male victim of damaging his property, Mr Ray brandished a knife and threatened to dismember the victim with it, forcing a false confession, the indictment says.

    He is accused of using the false confessions to extort money, which the victims attempted to pay by draining their parents’ savings and opening credit lines, among other means. Authorities say he collected more than $500,000 from one woman after forcing her into prostitution, while several were forced to perform unpaid labour.

    In total, he is accused of extorting about $1m from at least five victims.

    Authorities say he laundered the proceeds of his crimes through an internet domain business.

    Manhattan US Attorney Geoffrey Berman said: “College is supposed to be a time of self-discovery and new-found independence. But as alleged, Lawrence Ray exploited that vulnerable time in his victims’ lives through a course of conduct that shocks the conscience”.

    Mr Ray has denied the charges, claiming they are the result of a conspiracy against him.

    In a statement reported by US media, Sarah Lawrence College described the charges as “serious, wide-ranging, disturbing, and upsetting”.

    It said it launched an internal investigation after the New York magazine story was published, which it said “did not substantiate those specific claims”.

    Source: bbc.com

  • 5 things everyone needs to know about sex and dating, according to a relationships therapist

    You don’t need to be happily coupled up or in a rocky relationship to learn a lot from these dating and love lessons.

    When Harry Stopped Communicating With Sally. The Silence of The Doomed. Crazy, Silent, Divorced. If the disintegration of my parents’ marriage was a movie, I had a front-row seat. And as I watched the plot unfold, one thing became clear to me: Grown-ass adults have no idea how to communicate with each other.

    It was because of this realization though that I went on to become a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) and eventually opened the Wright Wellness Center. Now, every day I get to teach couples (and singles, too!) how to better communicate—especially about touchy subjects like sex, fantasies, and pleasure.

    Bottom line: Sex-ed shouldn’t stop after high school, and even perfectly happy couples can benefit from working with a relationship therapist. Below are five things I want everyone to know about dating and sex—regardless of your relationship status or orientation.

    1. Sexual exploration can (and should) happen at any age.

    There’s a myth that sexual exploration is temporary, like for three months during a phase in college. That’s inaccurate and damaging in so many ways.

    For starters, exploring things sexually requires a baseline of trust. The more trust you have with someone the more explorative you should be able to be in bed. And let’s face it: Most people have longer, more trusting relationships after college.

    Further, the idea that your early 20s are your sexually explorative days doesn’t take into account the fact that your frontal lobes don’t develop until you’re 26, which means that the sensation of having your arm touched at 32 is going to feel different than how it felt when you were 22. Located at the front of your head, this section of your brain is in charge of giving meaning to touch. So even if you experimented with anal play or restraints at that age, the sensation it might bring you physically, mentally, or emotionally now is going to be massively different.

    In my opinion, the fact that STI rates are climbing in nursing homes and assisted living communities suggests to me that people are interested in experimenting sexually well into their golden years. So let me ask you this: Why wait until you’re 80 to experiment and have the sex you want to be having when you could have it right now? Yeh, exactly.

    2. Sexual exploration is not a “slippery slope”.

    There is an untrue, pervasive idea that sexual exploration is a slippery slope toward debauchery that you can’t come back from. People are genuinely afraid that if one month they add a new sex position or sex toy into the bedroom, the next month they’ll be having full-blown orgies with the entire city. Because of this, you could be too afraid to talk to your partners about your fantasies, turn-ons, and sexual desires. (Related: How To Introduce Sex Toys Into your Relationship).

    I can promise that expanding what pleasure, play, and, sex looks like in your relationship is *not* going to cause you and your partner to lose control. The only thing that could do this is a lack of communication and consent—period. (Related: 8 Common Communication Problems In Relationships).

    3. You *do* have time for sex.

    The only thing everyone has in common is that we all have exactly 24 hours a day. No more, no less. If you don’t think you have time for sex, one of two things is happening. Either, 1) in general, you don’t make time for *any* leisure pleasure, or 2) you don’t enjoy the sex you’re having enough to make time for it.

    If you are someone who struggles to make time for yourself, my advice is to start spending five to ten minutes a day doing something that centers you and brings you pleasure: journaling, masturbating, meditating, putting on a face mask, painting your nails, or dancing around your apartment.

    If, however, you get manicures every other week, read for pleasure, or get routine massages, the more likely reality is that you’re choosing to prioritize other things before sex. That says to me that you enjoy those other things more than you enjoy sex.

    The solution? Make sex as (or more) enjoyable than those other things, and that make take some work. I recommend dedicated 5 to 10 minutes a day to your pleasure: touching yourself in the shower (maybe with one of these waterproof vibrators), running your hands across your naked body, shopping for a sex toy online or in the store, or reading Come As You Are by Emily Nagasaki.

    Well, the more you have sex, the more you chemically crave sex. So, while that may not seem like much time (and it’s not), it’s a start that will likely lead to increased sexual cravings.

    4. Emotional intelligence makes you a better partner in and out of the bedroom.

    Emotional intelligence (or your EQ, if you will) is the ability to pinpoint your own emotions and express them and the ability to respond in kind to someone else’s emotions. It requires a combination of self-awareness, empathy, intuition, and communication.

    Let’s say you do something your partner doesn’t understand and they ask you why you acted that way. Emotional intelligence is the difference between responded with “I don’t know, I just freaked out” and “I was anxious and spiraled instead of getting a grip on the route of my anxiety”. It’s the ability to turn inward and name what you’re feeling, instead of avoiding self-reflection, responsibility, or a deep interaction.

    A low or high EQ impacts your sex life in an incredible number of ways. If you’re in the mood for a deep, connected sexual experience and are able to recognize that, you’re going to be able to help foster that experience. Likewise, emotional intelligence gives you the ability to tune into your partner’s body language and non-verbal cues and so you can know if they’re feeling disconnected, or guilty, or preoccupied, or stressed, and adjust accordingly, even if they don’t tell you outright.

    So, if what you want in your life is more sex or intimacy with your partner, I recommend working on your EQ by learning your own desires and stressors, asking more questions (and listening to the answers), practicing mindfulness, and working with a therapist. (Related: How to Ask Your Partner for More Sex Without Offending Them)

    5. Everyone needs someone to talk to about sex.

    Maybe you want to experiment with butt plugs. Maybe you want to experiment with other vulva-owners. Maybe you want to invite a third person into your bedroom. Because keeping something a secret creates a feeling of shame or wrong-doing, simply talking to a friend about it can help you let go of shame and normalize your desires. (Related: An Insiders Guide to Sleeping with Another Woman for The First Time).

    A friend can also help hold you accountable to those desires and interests. They might check in on you in a few weeks to see if you’ve made any “progress” on your desires, learned any more about your sexual interest, or talked to your partner about it.

    If you don’t have a like-minded friend you think would be open to talking about getting down, a sex therapist, relationship coach, or mentor can play a similar role.

    Source: shape.com

  • Man who defiled step-daughter says he mistook her for his wife

    A 35-year-old man who defiled and impregnated his step-daughter at Mankranso in Ashanti Region, has been slapped with a 20-year-jail term in hard labour by the Tepa Circuit Court.

    Abubakar Sadiq pleaded guilty to a charge of defilement and sought to suggest to the court, he had mistaken the victim for his wife.

    The victim who paralysed after giving birth, is struggling to survive a harsh rural environment, with little to eat.

    Source: Myjoyonline.com

     

  • Lifestyle: Horrifying side-effect of not having enough sex

    Numerous studies have been conducted time and again which prove that sex is not only pleasurable but is also good for our body. From cutting down your stress levels to helping you sleep better, benefits of sex extend way beyond the bedroom. So, once you start losing out on the Big O (read orgasm), there are plenty of things that may go wrong with your body.

    We live in a world of crazy work-life balance, long commute hours and constant smartphone notifications. This makes it extremely difficult to catch eight hours of sleep, let alone having sex. Whether you are battling a lot of stress or just not in the right mood, there are times when we tend to give sexy times a little break.

    Read:Lifestyle:100 Sex Questions to Ask a Girl or a Guy

    If you do not have sex for a long duration of time, your vagina bears the brunt of the same. There is actually a medical term for the samevaginal atrophy.

    What is vaginal atrophy?

    When your body produces less estrogen, roughly within a few years of menopause, a lot of women develop symptoms of vaginal atrophy. In this condition, the vaginal muscles shrivel up which leads to painful intercourse. Loss of estrogen also leads to a decreased blood flow in the vagina and vulva, which causes thinning, drying and swelling of the vaginal walls.

    Read:Lifestyle: We hooked up on the first date, is he still into me?

    Some of the other symptoms of vaginal atrophy are:

    Vaginal dryness

    Vaginal discharge

    Genital itching

    Light bleeding during sex

    Pain during sex

    Decreased vaginal lubrication

    Read:LIFESTYLE: 19 Foreplay tips to please her in bed

    One of the most painful symptoms of vaginal atrophy is the shortening or tightening of the vaginal canal, which may make the walls of vagina dry and thin. It can also lead to the loss of labial plumpness.

    What should you do?

    The best way to keep your lady parts healthy is to engage in regular sexual activities which in turn increases vaginal elasticity.

    When you keep your vagina active, it remains well-lubricated and supple. Even a little self-love (read masturbation) can go a long way in keeping your delicate bits healthy and happy, in case you do not want to engage in sex.

    Source: timesofindia.com