Ghana is to certify the first aircraft maintenance company by December 2022.
The company, AviationGhana can confirm, is nearing the completion of its certification process which it started some five years ago.
Known as 3AMS-CELMS Limited, the firm is to operate Ghana’s first Maintenance Repair and Overhaul (MRO) facility at the Kotoka International Airport.
The aviation sector regulator, GCAA on Marc h 29, 2022 gave permission for 3AMS-CELMS Limited to proceed to stage four of the five-stage certification process.
Managing Director of 3AMS-CELMS Limited, Clifford Martey Korley said when the final certification is done, 3AMS-CELMS will be able to repair and maintain single-aisle aircraft and Boeing 737s in Ghana and the West Africa Sub-region.
This means domestic operators, Africa World Airlines(AWA) and PassionAir can service and repair their fleet locally.
West Africa has only an MRO in Nigeria able to repair smaller aircraft despite being one of the regions where air traffic growth, prior to the pandemic in 2020, was on the ascendancy.
There are about 32 West Africa-based airlines servicing the region and tens of international flights servicing various airports in the sub-region daily.
Airline operators in the sub-region have to either fly to Ethiopia, Egypt or South Africa to have faults and regular maintenance carried out on most large aircraft.
Mr. Korley however said once that once the final certification is issued, hopefully by December this year, it will be able to service all such aircraft in the subregion, earn money for the country and help hasten the re-attainment of Category 1 status for the Kotoka International Airport.
For Ghana to become an aviation hub, the establishment of an MRO is imperative.
“The coming on-stream of 3AMS-CELMS Limited’s MRO operations will greatly accelerate the vision of becoming the go-to aviation hub in the sub-region,” he added.
Remgro Limited, a South African investment holding led by billionaire Johann Rupert, has announced plans to sell its stake in TotalEnergies South Africa, an operating subsidiary of TotalEnergies SE, a French multinational integrated energy and petroleum company.
One of the leading investment holding companies in not only South Africa, but all of Africa as a whole, Remgro maintains a diverse portfolio of investments in top-quality and high-performing firms, including a 25-percent stake in TotalEnergies South Africa.
According to the group’s 2021 financial statement, its stake in TotalEnergies South Africa, which owns refining operations and gasoline stations in South Africa, has a book value of R2.5 billion ($140 million).
The planned divestment in TotalEnergies South Africa is consistent with Remgro’s strategy of rotating its investment portfolio, as demonstrated recently by the sale of Grindrod Bank and Grindrod Financial Holdings for R1.5 billion ($97 million).
Remgro has also completed the sale of approximately a 30-percent stake in South Africa’s largest wine and spirits producer, Distell Group, to Dutch multinational brewing company Heineken N.V.
The move follows the completion of an implementation agreement by Heineken to acquire Distell’s operations for €2.2 billion ($2.52 billion) through Sunside Acquisitions Proprietary Limited, a newly incorporated unlisted subsidiary of Heineken International in South Africa.
With the sale of Total Energies South Africa underway and bids expected to be submitted in the coming weeks, Remgro is on the verge of completing a strategic takeover of multinational private hospital group Mediclinic International through a consortium of investors led by Manta Bidco Limited and MSC Mediterranean Shipping Company.
Rupert’s Remgro owns 44.6 percent of the group, which operates the most hospitals in South Africa. Its takeover bid values Mediclinic’s entire issued and to-be-issued ordinary share capital at approximately £3.7 billion ($4.48 billion), with an implied enterprise value of approximately £6.1 billion ($7.4 billion).
As the world’s richest billionaires’ranking continues to shift, with the most recent offset being the emergence of Indian billionaire Gautam Adani as the world’s second-richest man ahead of Amazon Founder Jeff Bezos, some billionaires like Aliko Dangote have seen their wealth ranking improve in recent weeks after losing out several weeks ago.
Dangote, whose net worth has declined by $275 million since the start of the year, dropped out of the top 80 richest billionaires list more than a week ago, as his wealth fell below the $19-billion mark for the first time since Sept. 29, 2021.
After falling out about a week ago, the billionaire, who derives the majority of his fortune from his 86-percent stake in Dangote Cement Plc, Africa’s largest cement maker, is now ranked 74th on the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, a list that tracks the fortunes of the world’s 500 richest people.
Dangote is now not only the richest man in Africa, but also the richest Black man in the world.
His re-entry into the top 80 billionaires list was aided by the decline in the net worth of Indonesian billionaire Michael Hartono, Russian billionaire Alisher Usmanov, and Thomas Frist, a U.S. physician and businessman who is the wealthiest person in Tennessee, a landlocked state in the southeastern United States.
Dangote’s net worth has fallen from $19.1 billion at the beginning of the year to $18.8 billion at the time of writing this report. This equates to a $257-million loss in wealth for the billionaire businessman since the year began.
The drop in his net worth, which began on May 13 when he became the world’s 61st richest man after his net worth surpassed $21 billion for the first time since 2014, can be attributed to a drop in the shares of his publicly traded cement company, Dangote Cement.
Since May 13, shares in the leading cement maker have dropped 18.3 percent, from an all-time high of N300 ($0.697) to N245 ($0.5694) at the time of writing.
The drop in the company’s stock can be attributed to investors’ reaction to its half-year earnings figures, which revealed a double-digit drop in profit in the first half of 2022 due to higher energy costs and unrealized foreign exchange losses.
Professor of Applied Economics at the Johns Hopkins University in the United States has taken on New Patriotic Party (NPP) member, Gabby Asare Otchere-Darko.
Prof. Steve Hanke described Gabby as being ‘on another planet’ over his recent claim that the government needed to be lauded for its handling of the economy.
Hanke posted a GhanaWeb story of Gabby’s claims on Twitter and captioned it thus: “Leading member of the New Patriotic Party (NPP) Gabby Otchere-Darko says Pres. Akufo-Addo deserves praise for his handling of the economy. SPOILER ALERT: Otchere-Darko must be on another planet.”
He added his usual inflation measurement which he said stood at 81%/y, a figure that is over 100% the official inflation percentage pegged at 33.9%.
Gabby’s tweet of September 22, 2022 read: “The Akufo-Addo govt and, in particular, MoF, deserve the nation’s commendation for their handling of the economy in these most challenging times. Despite slump in revenues, bills are being paid, including salaries, roads being fixed, & money found for programmes like YouStart.”
The Ghana Statistical Service, GSS, recently announced that consumer inflation for August 2022 hit 33.9% from 31.7% in July.
This is the highest rate that has been recorded in 21 years. According to the GSS, food and transportation were the main drivers of inflation.
Professor Hanke who has taken a keen interest on economic issues of Ghana in a separate tweet said Ghana’s economy was tanking – an expression which means the economy is down and there are fears of a recession.
He has in the past blamed the Akufo-Addo-led administration for putting the economy in a dire situation.
“Ghana is in 8th place in this week’s inflation table. On Sep 8, I measured Ghana’s #inflation at a stunning 81%/yr–over 2x the official inflation rate of 34%/yr. #Ghana’s economy is TANKING. To rein in inflation, GHA must install a currency board,” he tweeted on September 19.
“Today, I measure #Ghana’s inflation at 81%/yr. As a result, Ghanaians don’t know the price of anything anymore. When Ghanaians see their grocery bills soar, they can thank Pres. Akufo-Addo,” Prof Hanke added.
Fitch Ratings has downgraded Ghana’s Long-Term Local- and Foreign-Currency Issuer Default Ratings (IDRs) to ‘CC’, from ‘CCC’. Fitch typically does not assign Outlooks to issuers with a rating of ‘CCC’ or below.
A full list of rating actions is at the end of this rating action commentary.
Key Rating Drivers
Increased Probability of Debt Restructuring: The downgrade reflects the increased likelihood that Ghana will pursue a debt restructuring given mounting financing stress, with surging interest costs on domestic debt and a prolonged lack of access to Eurobond markets.
There is a high likelihood that the IMF support programme currently being negotiated will require some form of debt treatment due to the climbing interest costs and structurally low revenue as a percentage of GDP.
We believe this will be in the form of a debt exchange and will qualify as a distressed debt exchange under our criteria. The government has not confirmed or denied press reports that Ghana is preparing to negotiate a restructuring. Interest costs on external debt are lower than for domestic debtand near-term external debt amortisations appear manageable.
However, we believe there could be an incentive to spread a debt restructuring burden across domestic and external creditors and therefore do not have a strong basis to differentiate between Foreign- and Local-Currency ratings at this time.
High Debt Service, Financing Constrained: Interest costs reached 47.5% of revenue in 2021 and 54% in 1H22. Interest payments on domestic debt comprise around 75% of total interest costs.
This reflects high yields on domestic debt, which have climbed following a 34% yoy spike in inflation as at August 2022 and monetary tightening, with the Bank of Ghana hiking its policy rate to 22.0%, from 14.5% in February.
Yields on the 91-day treasury bill reached 27.0% in August, up from 12.5% in August 2021, and 10-year yields have spiked to above 35% in September, from around 20% in 1Q22.
Limited Access to External Financing: We expect external financing access to stay limited until at least an IMF programme is agreed, as Ghana is likely to remain locked out of Eurobond markets, which had been the country’s regular source of external financing.
The government obtained a USD750 million term loan from African Export-Import Bank (BBB/Stable this year and USD250 million in syndicated loans from global commercial banks. It can also use its sinking fund. We estimate Ghana faces around USD3 billion of external debt service costs in 2023, including amortisation and interest.
Continued Reserve Pressure: We expect persistent downward reserve pressure in the absence of an IMF programme. Official reserve assets fell to USD7.3 billion in June, from USD9.8 billion in 2021 and gross international reserves, excluding oil funds and encumbered assets, totalled USD7.1 billion in March, the latest figure available.
The exchange rate has weakened by 40% year-to-date against the US dollar, reaching GHC10:USD1 in September, potentially made worse by the drop in non-resident investment in local-currency debt. Non-resident holdings were GHC23.1 billion at end-August, or 4% of Fitch-forecast 2022 GDP.
IMF Programme Pending: The government reversed its long-standing position against seeking IMF support in July 2022 and we believe a deal with the IMF is likely within the next six months. Ghana has indicated it could request USD2 billion-3 billion and the programme could unlock budget support from other official lenders.
However, we believe a restructuring will be deemed necessary, with local-currency debt treatment potentially included prior to IMF approval, as the IMF is unable to provide financing where it assesses a country’s debt to be unsustainable.
The most recent IMF debt sustainability analysis, conducted in 2021, found Ghana at a high risk of debt distress and vulnerable to shock to market access and high debt servicing costs. Interest costs have risen substantially since then.
Limited Space for Fiscal Consolidation: We expect high interest costs and low revenue to impede fiscal consolidation. The medium-term fiscal framework in the 2022 budget envisaged narrowing the deficit to below the 5% of GDP ceiling by 2024, based on the expiry of pandemic-related expenditure and higher domestic revenue, driven by new taxes, including an electronic transaction levy.
However, implementation delays led to lower revenue and a larger nominal deficit in 1H22 relative to budget forecasts. The government’s slim majority in parliament could frustrate attempts to raise tax rates or implement new taxes.
Partially Guaranteed Note Could Be Excluded: We affirmed the rating on Ghana’s partially guaranteed note backed by the World Bank’s International Development Association as the note may be excluded from a debt restructuring even if other Eurobonds are included.
ESG – Governance: Ghana has an ESG Relevance Score (RS) of ‘5[+]’ for both Political Stability and Rights and for the Rule of Law, Institutional and Regulatory Quality and Control of Corruption. Theses scores reflect the high weight World Bank Governance Indicators (WBGIs) have in our proprietary Sovereign Rating Model.
Ghana has a medium WBGI ranking at the 53rd percentile, reflecting a recent record of peaceful political transitions, a moderate level of rights for participation in the political process, moderate institutional capacity, established rule of law and a moderate level of corruption.
Ghana has an ESG Relevance Score of ‘5’ for Creditor Rights, as willingness to service and repay debt is relevant to the rating and is a rating driver for Ghana, as for all sovereigns Ghana’s restructuring of public debt in 2006 has a negative impact on the credit profile.
RATING SENSITIVITIES
Factors that could, individually or collectively, lead to negative rating action/downgrade:
-Announcement of a debt exchange offer that Fitch would consider as a distressed debt exchange would lead to a downgrade of the relevant IDR and affected issuances.
– Signs that the partially guaranteed notes might be included in a restructuring could lead to a downgrade of the rating on the notes.
Factors that could, individually or collectively, lead to positive rating action/upgrade:
– Evidence that local- or foreign-currency debt would be excluded from an overall effort to address Ghana’s debt pressure could lead to an upgrade of the relevant IDR and affected issuances.
– Signs that an IMF programme will not require any restructuring and that solvency and liquidity pressure can be addressed with fiscal consolidation.
Sovereign Rating Model (SRM) and Qualitative Overlay (QO)
Fitch’s proprietary SRM assigns Ghana a score equivalent to a rating of ‘B’ on the Long-Term Foreign-Currency IDR scale. However, in accordance with its rating criteria, Fitch’s sovereign rating committee has not utilised the SRM and QO to explain the ratings in this instance. Ratings of ‘CCC+’ and below are instead guided by the rating definitions.
Fitch’s SRM is the agency’s proprietary multiple regression rating model that employs 18 variables based on three-year centred averages, including one year of forecasts, to produce a score equivalent to a Long-Term Foreign-Currency IDR.
Fitch’s QO is a forward-looking qualitative framework designed to allow for adjustment to the SRM output to assign the final rating, reflecting factors within our criteria that are not fully quantifiable and/or not fully reflected in the SRM.
Best/Worst Case Rating Scenario
International scale credit ratings of Sovereigns, Public Finance and Infrastructure issuers have a best-case rating upgrade scenario (defined as the 99th percentile of rating transitions, measured in a positive direction) of three notches over a three-year rating horizon; and a worst-case rating downgrade scenario (defined as the 99th percentile of rating transitions, measured in a negative direction) of three notches over three years. The complete span of best- and worst-case scenario credit ratings for all rating categories ranges from ‘AAA’ to ‘D’.
Best- and worst-case scenario credit ratings are based on historical performance. For more information about the methodology used to determine sector-specific best- and worst-case scenario credit ratings, visit https://www.fitchratings.com/site/re/10111579.
REFERENCES FOR SUBSTANTIALLY MATERIAL SOURCE CITED AS KEY DRIVER OF RATING
The principal sources of information used in the analysis are described in the Applicable Criteria.
ESG Considerations
Ghana has an ESG Relevance Score of ‘5[+]’ for Political Stability and Rights as WBGIs have the highest weight in Fitch’s SRM and are therefore highly relevant to the rating and a key rating driver with a high weight. As Ghana has a percentile rank above 50 for the respective Governance Indicator, this has a positive impact on the credit profile.
Ghana has an ESG Relevance Score of ‘5[+]’ for Rule of Law, Institutional & Regulatory Quality and Control of Corruption, as WBGIs have the highest weight in Fitch’s SRM and are therefore highly relevant to the rating and are a key rating driver with a high weight. As Ghana has a percentile rank above 50 for the respective Governance Indicators, this has a positive impact on the credit profile.
Ghana has an ESG Relevance Score of ‘5’ for Creditor Rights, as willingness to service and repay debt is relevant to the rating and is a rating driver for Ghana, as for all sovereigns.
As Ghana has a fairly recent restructuring of public debt in 2006, this has a negative impact on the credit profile. Given the increasing possibility of default reflected in the ‘CC’ rating, this has a negative impact on the credit profile.
Ghana has an ESG Relevance Score of ‘4[+]’for Human Rights and Political Freedoms, as the Voice and Accountability pillar of the WBGIs is relevant to the rating and a rating driver. As Ghana has a percentile rank above 50 for the respective Governance Indicator, this has a positive impact on the credit profile.
Except for the matters discussed above, the highest level of ESG credit relevance, if present, is a score of ‘3’. This means ESG issues are credit-neutral or have only a minimal credit impact on the entity, either due to their nature or to the way in which they are being managed by the entity. For more information on Fitch’s ESG Relevance Scores, visit www.fitchratings.com/esg
Ghana’sintroduction of a 1.5% tax on mobile money transactions in May 2022 has been watched closely by policymakers across Africa. The proponents of the electronic transaction levy (E-Levy) argue that taxes on mobile money – commonly referred to in Ghana as MoMo – present an opportunity for cash-strapped governments to raise funds in the complex post-pandemic context.
In Ghana, the ‘E-levy’ has been linked to the current administration’s ‘Ghana Beyond Aid’ strategy for reducing aid-dependence.
Taxes on MoMo in Ghana and elsewhere have also been justified as a way to “capture” those working in the informal economy, who are perceived as being untaxed. Critics have pointed out, however, that informal workers (who make up 89% of total employment in Ghana) already pay a range of fees and taxes. Therefore, they may be disproportionately affected by this new tax.
Despite much speculation about the E-levy’s impact, there has been little empirical evidence. In particular, it is important to consider how informal workers actually use mobile money; how the levy affects them; and how they perceive it.
Our recent study looked at the likely impact of the levy on high and low earners in the informal economy. It was based on a representative survey of 2,700 informal sector operators – employers and own-account workers – in Accra before the tax was introduced. We found that despite the minimum threshold shielding some users, the tax likely has a negative impact on equity. We also found that informal workers’ scepticism about the tax was rooted in concerns about equity and in mistrust of government more widely.
Assumption 1: E-levy will target higher earners
One of the assumptions prior to implementation of the E-levy was that it would be an efficient way to target higher-earning segments of the informal sector. These segments are perceived as being under-taxed and more likely than lower-income earners to use mobile money.
A key question, therefore, is whether mobile money usage is concentrated among higher-income earners. This assumption only partially stands up to the evidence. We found that about half (51%) of the informal sector operators in Accra use mobile money. It is widely used by women and men, by different occupational groups and across the earnings distribution range – but distribution of the actual monthly transaction amounts is revealing (Figure 1).
As expected, the top-earning group (quintile 5) reported transacting most on the MoMo platform (about 500 and 700 cedis for female and male workers respectively). However, lower-income earners will also be affected by the E-levy. This is because informal workers in the lowest earning group transacted more than those in several of the higher earnings categories.
About 41% of MoMo users in the informal sector do not have a bank account. Mobile money transfers may be particularly important for the unbanked, who typically account for the lower-earning and more vulnerable segments of the workforce. We found 43% in the lowest earning quintile had bank accounts compared with 54% in the highest earning quintile.
Assumption 2: excluding small transactions will make the levy fair
It was anticipated that the exemption for transactions below 100 cedis per day would shield lower-income earners. It was expected to limit the negative impacts of the tax on the poor.
Based on MoMo usage data, we were able to estimate E-levy liability according to whether mobile money transactions in the previous month exceeded the 100 cedis threshold. Sixty-one percent of the users reported that they would be liable for some amount of E-levy payment based on their past MoMo transaction patterns and amounts. Here, our results provide some support for government’s suggestion that the threshold would protect about 40% of MoMo users from taxation.
However, when the mobile money transaction amounts over the threshold are calculated as a share of earnings, it is clear that the levy is still a highly regressive tax (Figure 2) – meaning the tax burden is highest on the lowest earners.
Lower earners bear a disproportionate share of the levy. The tax would account for just over 8% and 6% of monthly earnings for men and women respectively in the lowest-earning quintile. Among the top-earning quintile, in contrast, the projected tax would be less than 1% of earnings for both women and men.
Assumption 3: support for the E-levy would vary on political lines
As other surveys have highlighted, the E-levy is highly unpopular in Ghana. We found that 83% of Accra’s informal workers disapproved of it. They worried about how it would affect the poor, that it would be unfair or raise an already high tax burden.
The levy was the subject of verbal and even physical fights in parliament between the two main parties. The New Patriotic Party administration blamed public opposition to the levy on alleged propaganda by the minority National Democratic Congress. This might suggest that support for the levy would broadly fall along party lines. Our study found that supporters of the New Patriotic Party were indeed more likely to support the levy. But only 32% of them approved. Overall, perceptions of government and its performance influenced opinions on the levy.
We also found that women were more critical of the E-levy, even when we controlled for a range of demographic and political features. Only 12% of women approved of it, compared with 21% of men. This striking difference highlights the importance of further research in this area, particularly to explore the relative impacts on men and women.
Implications for policy
The designers of Ghana’s E-levy argued that it would lead to a better distribution of the tax burden, by bringing ostensibly untaxed informal sector workers into the tax net (fairness) while shielding the poorest (equity). While the threshold is successful in shielding some lower-income users, we found the E-levy is still highly regressive.
Our evidence suggests that the threshold should be raised and regularly adjusted for inflation. More generally, revenue authorities should focus on other ways of taxing high income workers in the informal economy, including professionals. At the very least, revenues from the E-levy should be used in a way that offsets its distributional impacts. This could mean targetting new spending on public infrastructure, goods and services which benefit informal workers. Government could also subsidise premiums paid by informal sector workers to join the National Health Insurance Scheme or contributions to the National Pension Scheme.
Our data suggest that key decisions about policy design and implementation were founded on assumptions that are not backed by empirical evidence. Continued research on the impacts of the E-levy in the coming months and years will help ensure that policymaking is evidence-based, with a more complete understanding of how the levy affects citizens and workers.
Source:
The Authors
Prof. Mike Rogan is an Associate Professor at Rhodes University in South Africa and a Research Associate with the Urban Policies Programme in WIEGO (Women in Informal Employment: Globalising and Organising).
Dr. Max Gallien is a Research Fellow at the Institute of Development Studies (IDS) and the International Centre for Tax and Development (ICTD).
Prof. Nana Akua Anyidoho is an Associate Professor at the Institute of Statistical, Social and Economic Research (ISSER) and Director of the Centre for Social Policy Studies, both at the University of Ghana.
Dr. Vanessa van den Boogaard is a Research Fellow at the International Centre for Tax and Development (ICTD) and the University of Toronto.
Fitch Ratings has said Ghana’s high level of credit risk following the downgrade to CC reflects the increased likelihood that Ghana will pursue a debt restructuring as interest costs surge.
This according to Fith is possible given mounting financing stress, with surging interest costs on domestic debt and a prolonged lack of access to eurobond markets.
“There is a high likelihood that the IMF support programme currently being negotiated will require some form of debt treatment due to the climbing interest costs and structurally low revenue as a percentage of GDP,” Fitch said when it lowered Ghana’s long-term issuer default rating to CC on Friday.
The most recent IMF debt sustainability analysis, conducted in 2021, found Ghana at a high risk of debt distress and vulnerable to shock to market access and high debt servicing costs.
Interest costs have risen substantially since then.
Fitch Ratings has downgraded Ghana’s Long-Term Local- and Foreign-Currency Issuer Default Ratings (IDRs) to ‘CC’, from ‘CCC’.
Fitch typically does not assign Outlooks to issuers with a rating of ‘CCC’ or below.
First and foremost, all kinds of loyalty & Disloyalty Theories and political hypotheses would have been stated by those celebrating him today in Kenya and around the world if William Ruto had lost the 2022 Presidential election of Kenya.
William Ruto has demonstrated that the loyalty of a politician should be to God and Country First.
Always believe in your convictions than paying attention to the noise from outside.
The two families, Kenyatta and Odinga together with the family of Daniel Arap Moi have dominated Kenya’s Politics and ruled Kenya for 59years(almost Six Decades) since the Country’s Independence from Britain on December 12, 1963.
William Ruto is the first person who is purely a hustler with no proper godfather or roots in Kenya’s political history and completely outside the political dynasty of the families and friends of Kenyatta, Moi, Kibaki and Odinga to be elected as the President of Kenya.
May God guide, protect and grant William Ruto the wisdom to lead the people of Kenya.
William Ruto was completely SIDELINED and EXCLUDED from decision-making in the government of Uhuru Kenyatta and the ruling Jubilee Party of Kenya.
The first Prime Minister and President of Kenya after independence from Britain was Jomo Kenyatta.
He ruled for 14 years between 1964 to 1978.
His son, Uhuru Kenyatta was elected as the 4th President of Kenya from 2013 to 2022.
Daniel Arap Moi is the 2nd President of Kenya and he remains Kenya’s longest serving President, having served for a total of 24 years.
Before elected as 2nd President of Kenya, Daniel Arap Moi served as the 3rd Vice-President of Kenya from 1967 to 1978 under President Jomo Kenyatta.
Mwai Kibaki is the 3rd President of Kenya for almost 11 years from December 2002 to April 2013.
Mwai Kibaki previously served as the Vice-President for 10 years from 1978 to 1988 under President Daniel Arap Moi.
Interestingly, in the second term of President Mwai Kibaki from 2008 to 2013, there was a power-sharing government between Mwai Kibaki, Raila Odinga and Uhuru Kenyatta as President, Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister respectively.
As stated earlier, the 4th President of Kenya is Uhuru Kenyatta, the son of the first President of Kenya, Jomo Kenyatta. Before elected as the 4th President, Uhuru Kenyatta served as Deputy Prime Minister to Prime Minister Raila Odinga from 2008 to 2013.
Under this government, William Ruto served as their Minister for Agriculture.
Raila Odinga is also the son of the first Vice-President of Kenya, Oginga Odinga.
Raila Odinga formed a power-sharing government with Mwai Kibaki and served as the Prime Minister of Kenya from 2008 to 2013.
William Ruto is certainly now the 5th President of Kenya after defeating the combined forces of Uhuru Kenyatta and Raila Odinga, the sons of the first President and First Vice-President of Kenya respectively.
After the exit from the government of Mwai Kibaki, Uhuru Kenyatta and William Ruto formed Jubilee Party of Kenya to contest the national Presidential elections of 2013 and 2017.
They won the 2013 and 2017 Presidential elections against their boss, former Prime Minister, Raila Odinga and subsequently formed the government as President and Deputy President respectively.
However, ahead of the 2022 Presidential election of Kenya, William Ruto exited the Jubilee Party of Kenya and founded his own independent political party known as United Democratic Alliance(UDA).
UDA later joined forces with other smaller political parties to form Kenya Kwanza Coalition(Kenya First) and contested against the Coalition formed by Uhuru Kenyatta and Raila Odinga known as Azimio La Umoja Coalition(United Declaration).
Before the Presidential election, almost 90% of all the opinion polls and Analysts had predicted a massive victory for Raila Odinga considering the overwhelming support and resources Raila Odinga received from the ruling government, Jubilee Party and the outgoing President, Uhuru Kenyatta.
However, William Ruto was able to transcend and override existing Kenya’s traditionally established DYNASTIC POLITICS to beat Raila Odinga, the son of Kenya’s first Vice-President Oginga Odinga heavily backed by the sitting President Uhuru Kenyatta who is also the son of the first President of Kenya, Jomo Kenyatta.
William Ruto won the Presidential election with 50.49% and his Party, Kenya First also won the majority of the seats in Kenya’s Senate.
He has also won the 2022 Election Petition through the unanimous decision by the Supreme Court of Kenya.
William Ruto has DEFEATED his two former Bosses, having previously served as a Minister under Kibaki/ Raila Odinga’s government, and as Deputy President under Uhuru Kenyatta’s government.
William Ruto had an extremely BITTER SPLIT with the outgoing President Uhuru Kenyatta.
I hope the two gentlemen would put their differences aside in the supreme interest of Kenya and move the country forward.
William Ruto during the campaign adopted “man-of-the people” approach and also described himself as “Hustler-in-Chief”, citing his humble beginnings as a chicken seller who fought his way up to the top of Kenyan Politics.
William Ruto heavily campaigned against the established POLITICAL DYNASTIES created by the families of Kenyatta, Odinga, Moi & Kibaki, and he also played on anti-elite sentiment in the country.
This strategy endeared him to voters who were largely the poor suffering masses and Hustlers in Kenya.
The Youth won the election for William Ruto and his Party, Kenya First(Kenya Kwanza Coalition).
How would Uhuru Kenyatta feel right now after doing everything possible and teaming up with Raila Odinga against William Ruto aimed at protecting established family Political DYNASTIES in Kenya yet failed this time around?
As the prevalence of anxiety and depression symptoms has risen in the United States over the past few years, it stands to reason that an increasing amount of Americans can benefit from mental health help, like psychotherapy. And though many therapists indeed report upticks in inquiries (to the point where a therapist with availability can sometimes be hard to find), there still remain many people suffering from mental health symptomology who hesitate or decline to reach out for help.
Here are five commonly cited barriers to seeking help, and potential ways to get through them. Do you have more? Be upfront with your concerns when talking to a potential therapist, and they can often address them in a way that mitigates them. No one should have to suffer alone.
1. Financial concerns
It’s true—psychotherapy feels out of reach financially for many, and typical insurance coverage falls far short of being enough for many people looking to see a therapist for individual sessions. But it is very worth exploring lower-cost options, which can often put therapy within reach.
University psychology departments that have training programs in clinical psychology or social work, local community mental health clinics, and county mental health services are excellent places to start for affordable care. Many therapists in private practice offer slots with sliding scales and some insurance companies can be negotiated with to increase their coverage for an out-of-network provider if in-network providers are not available. Still other therapists may offer group therapy that makes getting into treatment much more affordable.
2. Fears of awkwardness or unfamiliarity
It’s true that the idea of talking to a stranger about some of the most vulnerable aspects of your life and emotions can be extremely daunting. And yet, therapists are trained in helping their clients feel safe and valued in the therapy space. They are used to being entrusted with people’s deepest and most troubling feelings and are typically very skilled in knowing how to balance asking questions with giving space to talk.
Certain potential clients just find the whole idea awkward. “What am I supposed to say?” they might wonder. But rest assured that experienced therapists have helped many clients who were apprehensive in very similar ways, and they can help you manage those uncomfortable feelings right from the start.
3. Feeling underrepresented in therapist communities
Many potential clients might balk at therapy because of the difficulties of finding a therapist who will “get” their particular life experience or background. It makes perfect sense that someone might prefer a therapist with a special understanding of particular challenges that are tied to being part of a certain community, whether it involves race, culture, ethnicity, religious faith, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability, or some other characteristic that feels central to one’s identity.
Therapist directories like Psychology Today allow practitioners to discuss their experience and background, and which populations they have a particular connection to. And while the diversity of backgrounds among the therapist population could always be improved, with online searches, it is more possible than ever to find a therapist who matches what you are hoping for.
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4. Fear that you will feel worse before you feel better
Sometimes when people have been masking or keeping in their pain for a long time, the idea of talking about it or letting it out makes them feel like they’d be unable to keep in control. They’d rather “let the past stay in the past” or “not rock the boat.”
While it is absolutely true that sometimes in therapy you might temporarily experience more discomfort while talking about things than if you had chosen to ignore them, the payoff of talking about those things can lead to you feeling far better than before. Bringing up difficult issues is central to the whole foundation of the gains that you can make in therapy—added insight, changed behavior, healthier habits, and a deeper sense of resilience and confidence in being able to face and manage life’s challenges.
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5. Concerns about scheduling or time commitment
The idea of a weekly therapy appointment can be daunting to many, and it’s probably near the very top of logistical reasons that people hesitate to try to find help. Work and family responsibilities can make it seem that a regular appointment would just be impossible. For people looking for couples therapy, this is often compounded, with the idea of finding a time where both partners can get away seeming even more hopeless.
However, teletherapy (seeing a therapist for therapy online) has opened a whole new window of availability for both therapists and clients, as commutes are removed, and often schedules can be more flexible. Moreover, many therapists offer weekend and evening appointments, or the possibility of meeting every other week rather than weekly.
Political parties rely heavily on financial assistance to sustain their activities
Political parties rely heavily on financial assistance to sustain their activities. This has led to a situation where financiers of a party can unduly influence the outcome of elections and the policies of political parties.
The question we ponder over is whether the state should sponsor political parties or whether the state should not sponsor political parties. There are arguments for and against this practice.
Those who argue in favour of state sponsorship of political parties say that this is necessary to ensure that all parties have access to the resources they need to participate in the political process.
They also argue that state sponsorship helps to ensure that parties are accountable to the electorate and are not unduly influenced by private interests.
Those who argue against state sponsorship of political parties say that this practice leads to undue influence by the state over the political process.
They also argue that state sponsorship of political parties is unnecessary and that private donations should be used to finance party activities. (Adra, 2022)
The question of whether the state should sponsor political parties is a complex one. There are valid arguments for and against this practice. Ultimately, the decision must be made case-by-case, considering each country’s specific circumstances.
What are the benefits of state sponsorship of political parties?
State sponsorship of political parties has several potential benefits:
It can help ensure that parties are representative of the electorate. It can help ensure that parties are accountable to the electorate. It can help ensure that parties are responsive to the electorate’s needs. It can help ensure that parties can govern effectively. It can help ensure that parties are committed to democracy and the rule of law. It can help ensure parties can participate in elections fairly and transparently. State sponsorship of political parties can help promote stability and order within society by helping to prevent extremist or violent groups from gaining power.
Thus, state sponsorship of political parties can play an essential role in ensuring that parties can function effectively and democratically.
While some risks are associated with state sponsorship, such as the possibility that parties may become excessively dependent on state support, these risks can be minimized through careful regulation and oversight. (Onyinkwa, 2017)
Overall, state sponsorship of political parties can positively influence democracy and good governance.
How can state sponsorship curb the monetary syndrome in our politics
There are several ways in which state sponsorship can help to curb the monetary syndrome in our politics. One way is by providing financial support to political parties and candidates who espouse sound economic policies.
Countries need to fairly back candidates who espouse sound policies now more than ever.
This will help to ensure that these parties and candidates can compete effectively against those who advocate for unsound economic policies.
Another way state sponsorship can help curb the monetary syndrome in our politics is by providing educational resources to the public on sound economic policies.
This will help to ensure that voters are informed about the implications of different economic policies and can make more informed choices when voting for political candidates.
Still another way state sponsorship can help curb the monetary syndrome in our politics is by working with the private sector to promote and explain sound economic policies.
This can involve, for example, providing tax incentives or other forms of financial support to businesses that adopt sound economic policies.
So state sponsorship can play a vital role in curbing the monetary syndrome in our politics. By promoting sound economic policies, state sponsors can help ensure our politics is more stable and prosperous.
The pros and cons of state sponsorship of political parties
There is no one answer to whether or not states should sponsor political parties. The pros and cons of state sponsorship of political parties depend on the specific context in which the question is asked.
Some arguments in favour of state sponsorship of political parties are that it can help to ensure more stable governments, promote democracy, and provide a check on the power of special interests.
Some arguments against state sponsorship of political parties are that it can lead to corruption and cronyism, entrench incumbents, and undermine competition. Ultimately, whether or not states should sponsor political parties is a decision that must be made on a case-by-case basis.
Arguments in favour of state sponsorship of political parties typically centre around the idea that it can help to ensure more stable governments. In countries with weak or fragmented political parties, state sponsorship can help to provide the resources and organization necessary for these parties to be viable contenders in elections.
This, in turn, can lead to more democratic and representative governments. Moreover, state sponsorship of political parties can help to check the power of special interests. In many countries, it is common for special interest groups (such as businesses or religious organizations) to sponsor particular political parties.
This can give these groups undue influence over government policy. State sponsorship of political parties can help to level the playing field and ensure that all voices are heard.
Another argument against state sponsorship of political parties is that when the state sponsors a particular political party, it can create a situation in which that party might get excessively dependent on government resources.
This, in turn, can lead to corruption and favouritism as politicians seek to repay the debt they owe to their sponsors. Moreover, state sponsorship of political parties can entrench incumbents and make it difficult for new parties to emerge.
In many countries, state-sponsored parties are extensions of the existing government bureaucracy. This makes it difficult for opposition parties to compete and ultimately undermines democracy.
The decision of whether or not states should sponsor political parties is a complex one. There are arguments to be made both in favour and against state sponsorship. Again, ultimately, the decision must be made case-by-case, considering the specific context in which the question is being asked.
Conclusion
I know I’ve made some impractical points that besides in theory wouldn’t be as smooth to implement. But I’ve made some goods points that can be incorporated now.
For instance, the state educating the general public on what a sound economic atmosphere looks like is a great idea. Singapore is a relatively small country but has done well in ensuring its electorate are relatively much more in on the what’s and the whys of their elected officials’ decision making.
Still, there is no one answer to whether or not states should sponsor political parties. The pros and cons of state sponsorship of political parties depend on the specific context in which the question is asked.
Some arguments in favour of state sponsorship of political parties are that it can help to ensure more stable governments, promote democracy, and provide a check on the power of special interests.
Some arguments against state sponsorship of political parties are that it can lead to corruption and cronyism, entrench incumbents, and undermine competition. Ultimately, whether or not states should sponsor political parties is a decision that must be made on a case-by-case basis.
I hope you enjoyed the read. Hit me up and let’s keep the conversation going! I read all the feedback you send. Also, feel free to throw at me topics you’d like to read or hear my thoughts on. You can always head to my Calendly at calendly.com/maxwellampong or connect with me your own way through my Linktree: https://linktr.ee/themax.
Every morning, since February 2022, I have sent my grad student, Alexandra, my Wordle performance. I have a weird strategy, I don’t try to get the word in the fewest moves, but try to maximize my odds of succeeding. If I have _ I G H T, I don’t try fight, then might, then right. I find a word that has all three letters in there, like FRAME. Then I will know if it’s the F, R, or M. Or, if none of those, maybe the word is LIGHT or NIGHT or SIGHT or TIGHT.
Because I nearly always solve the Wordle before running out of moves, Alex might think I am cheating.
C-H-E-A-T
It turns out, a lot of people cheat at Wordle, so they can post a screenshot on their social media. Even a screenshot could be a fake because the answer to that day’s Wordle is easily Googled. In fact, millions of daily Wordle players around the world might be doing the same thing—sending and posting a fake Wordle performance. Indeed, people around us readily admitted to cheating on Wordle for various reasons.
To measure cheating on Wordle in the United States, we relied on Google Trends—a platform that allows users to see how often countries, states, metropolitan regions, and even cities, are searching for specific terms, like “today’s wordle answer.” In an article accepted for publication by Perspectives on Psychological Science, we found that, relative to other states, northeastern states like Massachusetts and Vermont looked up the answer to Wordle the most. Southwest and southern states, like Nevada and Louisiana, looked up the answer the least. We also looked at which states were Tweeting about Wordle the most (California and Texas) to make sure that what we were seeing was not just the Wordle-obsessed states skewing the Google searches.
Social psychology offers two potential insights into why people in some states cheat more than others.
F-A-I-T-H
The first answer may lie in religion. Psychologists like Ara Norenzayan have argued that believing in a higher power who watches everything you do (and search on Google) leads people to engage in more pro-social behavior, and cheat less. Indeed, we see that states that have more religious individuals tended to search less for the answer to Wordle.
T-I-G-H-T
Another explanation for this cheating variation may lie in cultural tightness. Cultural tightness is an indicator of a group’s preference for strict social norms (like the kind that deter cheating) and strict punishments for breaking those norms. Cultural psychologists like Michele Gelfand have used attitudes towards the death penalty, corporal punishment, and sentencing guidelines to capture this. When we looked at the relationship between cheating on Wordle and cultural tightness, we found that states that score higher on this metric for strict social norms tend to cheat less.
Do these findings suggest that every religious person is honest in their Wordling or that every Vermonter is a cheat? No. Our analyses focus on a more aggregate level to describe what societal features may contribute to a social environment that may discourage cheating more than others. In sum, we see that people in religious and socially strict states tend to cheat less on Wordle relative to their more secular and loose counterparts.
Why C-H-E-A-T?
But why cheat on something as benign as a daily brainteaser? First, cheating on Wordle may provide an opportunity to increase others’ perceptions of our intelligence. Across Facebook and Twitter, Wordle players will post their Wordle performance using different-colored emoji squares to represent their performance or their reported summary statistics for past games. Because some players chose to post their performance, failing to solve the day’s puzzle can hurt streaks or lower others’ perception of our reasoning ability. Cheating might also serve to boost our own perceptions of our intelligence. Hindsight bias (the “I would have gotten that!” response) may play a role in explaining why individuals cheat. Searches may also be driven, not by cheaters, but by the curious, who just want to know that day’s answer.
Could cheating on Wordle be a symptom of a broader cultural tendency towards cheating? Perhaps. In 2015, the profiles of millions of Ashley Madison users (a site for “Affairs and Discreet Married Dating”) were leaked to the public. Another study by Chohaney and Panozzo (2018) examined the geographic distribution of these users’ locations and found that there were more cheaters in less religious areas. Similarly, individuals from cultures with strict social norms are less likely to “cheat” on insurance forms and engage in insurance fraud—a practice that costs at least $40 billion per year in the U.S. alone, according to the Federal Bureau of Investigations.
Though cheating on Wordle is innocuous, understanding how culture can shape these little behaviors can provide us with insights as to how we make more critical decisions (like cheating on your spouse).
C-R-E-D-I-T
This article was co-written by Adam Cohen and Alexandra Wormley, M.A., who is a Ph.D. student at Arizona State University in the Department of Psychology.
Let’s consider this puzzle: If five machines can make five widgets in five minutes, how long would it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets? Take a moment to think about it.
Many of us are familiar with these kinds of cognitive tasks that often lead to biased responses. The question is what psychology can contribute to explaining how people handle these tasks and why they are so likely to make mistakes.
The above problem is part of the famous Cognitive Reflection Test (CRT), a brief task used to assess people’s cognitive ability to overcome intuitive errors by analytical thinking. The CRT is one of the most widely used tests in psychological science. It is well-known beyond its origin in judgment and decision making, used in fields like behavioral economics and neuroscience. The CRT is particularly known for its astonishingly high error rates, and it is sometimes, rather dramatically, referred to as the “World’s shortest IQ test.”
Like many others, you might have concluded that 100 minutes is the right response to the widget problem. But upon a closer look, it becomes clear that each machine takes five minutes to produce one widget, so for 100 machines to make 100 widgets, it will also take five minutes.
Or, you might just have googled the problem to be on the safe side and to spare cognitive resources and effort. In that case, you probably came up with the correct answer even faster than by reflecting on it. Indeed, the CRT is so popular that inputting just the first few words of the widget problem into any typical search engine will immediately deliver the results.
This is an interesting challenge for researchers because their materials are not usually publicly available. The reason is often to protect the integrity of the measurement instrument and its validity for further research. For instance, for reliable IQ assessment, it is crucially important to make sure that participants have as little prior knowledge about the specific test materials as possible. If the right answer on a given IQ test question is easily available, IQ assessments can obviously be very seriously distorted.
This is also likely to happen with the CRT. Some people may remember having seen or previously answered some of the questions, or even the entire test. In online psychological studies, where the test is frequently administered, respondents may prefer searching for the correct answers on the web instead of thinking carefully about the problem at hand. Researchers usually expect participants to take the task seriously and answer the questions without Google support. But how can they be sure?
To gauge the impact of unsolicited online searches in online CRT assessments, our recent study (Ludwig & Achtziger, 2021) compared two CRT versions. The first version was the original test (Frederick, 2005), featuring the widget and three other questions. For each of the questions, typing the first few words into Google reveals the correct answer within seconds.
In the second version, we re-phrased the questions in a way that the search algorithm could not directly yield the correct answer. For instance, the modified version of the widget problem reads: “Five pizza chefs can make five pizzas in five minutes. How many minutes would it take 100 pizza chefs to make 100 pizzas?”
Good luck googling that one! You will have to filter through pages and pages of pizza recipes until any reference to the CRT comes up, if it shows up at all. Cheating, at least by web searching, is futile on these re-phrased problems.
The study captured online searches by recording how often participants left the browser tab to switch into different tabs or other apps, presumably to look up the answer on the internet. We used this click count as an indicator of cheating behavior.
In addition, we offered some participants a payment conditional on responding correctly, while others received a fixed amount of money, regardless of their answers.
We wondered if offering money for performing well on a psychological test could corrupt online data collection in research in the behavioral sciences.
Our findings suggested that the answer is yes. People tended to cheat more when they could earn some extra cash. One additional click to another tab increased the odds of scoring higher on the original CRT by 39 percent. This observation indicates that many web searches were successful. Hence, it was relatively easy to cheat on the task to increase profits; and more individuals did so when CRT performance was incentivized.
Performance of participants who left the browser tab running the web study at least once (“Cheaters”) versus honest participants
Source: Jonas Ludwig
Around one-quarter of our respondents interrupted working on the CRT at least once, many of them, presumably, to search for the correct answers on the web.
The group of people working on the original CRT was able to substantially increase their performance by cheating (see Figure 1).
For the modified CRT version, we did not observe this performance improvement, of course, as correct answers could not be looked up on the internet.
People cheated at similar rates but were more successful when working on the original CRT, as you would expect.
Offering money for performing well on the original CRT improves participants’ outcomes. The most obvious explanation may be that people invested more effort into solving the CRT when they were properly motivated by a monetary incentive, and thereby they could improve their performance. Under laboratory conditions, this seems like a valid inference.
But the broad availability of easily accessible information about the CRT (including the option to simply copy-and-paste the answers directly from Google) changes the rules of the game. Our findings align with the idea that online CRT performance improves under incentives because people more often look for the correct answers on the web. In other words, people are willing to cheat for higher profits.
Why does any of this matter for all of us? Well, our findings highlight two apparent methodological problems with one of the most widely used psychological tests, and, potentially, also applies to several other common measurement instruments.
First, participants might google and easily find correct responses on psychological tests on the web. This is a challenge for researchers and can pose serious threats to the validity of an instrument. It raises a more general concern about how we run empirical research on the web, and how far we can take the interpretation of findings from online studies.
Second, people may be inclined to cheat when it pays to do so. Our research suggests that offering money for good performance may not always bring about the behaviors hoped for. Performance-based payment can have undesired side effects. Money, it seems, offers fertile ground for the emergence of dishonesty.
It’s not surprising that people cheat. For psychology research to be worthwhile, researchers must think about how they incentivize the results they observe. How much of the huge body of online CRT research has been or will be affected by undetected cheating? We can’t know for sure, but we do now at least have some evidence that it likely happens.
Recently, as I neared the top of a difficult 35 foot (12 meter) climb at the local climbing gym in my newly adopted home of Vancouver, I made a dynamicmove to reach the last hold. My right hand grabbed the small, awkwardly placed hold, but I couldn’t hang on, and my body fell away from the wall. Normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal: I was “on belay”, the rope secured to my harness, looped around a pulley at the top of the route and then down to a belay device on the harness of my partner on the floor below me. Falls like this happen all the time, and they’re no big deal, a small drop until the rope catches you, and you rest in the air before getting back on the route to try the move again.
But not this time. This time, something went terribly wrong. I glanced down as I fell from the hold, and watched in horror as the rope raced through the harness and disappeared from view. I was free-falling from 30 feet, and there was nothing but the ground to stop my fall.
When I hit the rubber mat, the shock was intense, a violent impact that reverberated through my body. Thankfully, I landed in the same position I was in when my hand slipped from the hold: leaning up and to the right, so that I landed on my right side. Had I been upright, or in just about any other position, I would probably have broken my legs, and possibly my spine or neck vertebrae. My head didn’t hit the ground, so there was no concussion. I broke my right ankle pretty severely, and had three minor pelvic fractures, but the emergency medical technicians reassured me that I wasn’t paralyzed. That was my terror, the question I asked repeatedly once I realized I’d survived the fall.
A colleague of mine, an emergency physician, told me afterwards that 30 feet is the start of what they call the fatality zone. That’s the zone where they consider the possibility of death a significant risk. I didn’t die, and I wasn’t paralyzed. In fact, I was extraordinarily lucky.
Somehow, I’d tied a bad knot when I secured the rope to my harness, yet despite the height, I’d survived the fall surprisingly intact. I had surgery on my ankle, and I’m in a wheelchair and on crutches for a couple months, but I’m just a visitor to the world of disability. Five weeks after the fall, my pelvis is largely healed, and I can feel the ankle getting better by the day. I live and work in buildings with elevators, and the sidewalks are all wheelchair-friendly, so getting around isn’t a problem.
For all of that, I am deeply grateful. And that’s really what I want to write about in this post: the power of gratitude to help us through difficult times.
Gratitude In the Face of Immense Suffering
For most of my career, I’ve been working with people who’ve survived genocide, civil war, and displacement from their homes, communities, and homelands. Again and again, as I describe in my book War Torn, I’ve heard survivors of the most horrific violence and loss express gratitude for their survival, for the family members they didn’t lose, for the new chance they’ve gotten at building a life in exile. I’ve always been mystified by their capacity to focus on the good in the face of so much tragedy, to hold onto gratitude when it would be so easy to get locked into feelings of despair, fear, hopelessness, and rage.
I recall a Bosnian woman whose parents and brother had died when nationalist Bosnian Serbs set fire to their home. As she sat in my office, grief-stricken and haunted by the images of the burning house, she kept thanking God that she and her children had survived, that they had escaped to Croatia and eventually found a new home in Chicago.
Her words weren’t spoken lightly; on the contrary, she genuinely felt gratitude despite the lasting emotional pain of her losses and the distressing memories of what she had witnessed. In fact, I believe her gratitude was a sort of psychological lifeline, a way of focusing on what she still had, rather than getting lost in despair at what she had lost. I’ve seen this sort of positive focus, this appreciation of whatever good one can still find, everywhere I’ve worked, every war zone and refugee community.
There’s also great pain in these places, of course, the legacy of war’s destructive power. But in the midst of that pain, and perhaps as a sort of balm to soothe it, is the power of gratitude to shift the focus away from what has been lost, to what remains, what is still possible, the seeds of hope.
Gratitude has been getting a lot of attention from researchers in recent years, particularly those who make their home in the fields of positive psychology, mindfulness, and post-traumatic growth. A 2010 review paper found that gratitude, or an intentional focus on appreciating the positive aspects of life, is strongly and causally related to both physical and psychological wellbeing. There’s also growing evidence that simple gratitude meditations done on a daily basis can improve our mental health, and that cultivating gratitude can even strengthen our immune functioning. As we shift our focus towards what is positive in our lives, or reframe painful experiences in ways that allow us to grow, gain wisdom and compassion, and deepen our empathy with others, we also dial down our stress response, lessening the flow of stress-related hormones through our bodies.
A Question to Ask
I’ve always found it a delicate line to walk when it comes to suggesting to someone in pain that they have much to be grateful for. It can come across as callous, an empathic failure that doesn’t acknowledge their suffering. More often than not, I find that people come to a place of gratitude on their own, an organic process that doesn’t require outside assistance beyond the love and support of family and friends, and perhaps the spiritual support of their community of faith. But for others who have gotten stuck in despair and bitterness, after an empathic and supportive connection has been established, a gentle question about gratitude can sometimes shift things, and help them begin to get unstuck.
“I wonder, after all that you’ve gone through, and in the midst of all that you’re still dealing with, is there anything you feel grateful for?”
“In this difficult time, is there anything you can hold on to that gives you a sense of hope? Anything you can focus on that you feel good about, that comforts you and helps you feel more at ease?”
If the answer yes, and they can name things they are grateful for, I might ask how it feels to shift their focus in this way. There’s often a sense of relief, a palpable easing of the tension they’ve been holding.
Sometimes, however, the answer may be “No”. There’s simply nothing they can think of for which they feel grateful in that moment. That’s alright. The questions are meant to plant a seed, and seeds take time to take grow. The cultivation of gratitude in a place of darkness may be a gradual process.
As I lay in the hospital bed on the night of my fall, frightened, alone and in pain in a city I had just moved to three days earlier, I could barely move due to the pain and the heavy cast. Half asleep in the semi-darkness of the hospital room, I kept imagining myself paralyzed. But then a wiser voice within me quickly reminded me that I only had a broken ankle and minor pelvic fractures. The reminder pulled me out of my fear and despair; it felt like a figurative rope out of the dark thoughts I was falling into. Another climber had been brought into the ER that same night, and he had not fared nearly as well. I felt gratitude that my injuries were not more severe, and that relatively soon I would walk and even climb again. I felt gratitude that my older sister had already booked a flight from New York to come help me after I was released from the hospital. I felt grateful to be alive.
In the challenging first weeks after leaving the hospital, I would catch myself slipping into frustration and depression at my disability, at the intense effort of the simplest tasks, and the isolation caused by my injuries. The life rope I grabbed onto in those moments was gratitude, shifting my thoughts from the inconvenience of my injuries to how much worse this could have been, and to how normal things would be again in a few months. I focused on the incredible support of my family and friends and new colleagues, and on the beautiful mountains I would be able to explore just outside the city. This shift in perspective made all the difference, like a pathway out of a dark place that offered nothing but anxiety and distress. That dark place is still there, and it’s easy to find myself falling into it. But the path out is always just a shift in perspective away, and for that, I am grateful.
A Gratitude Exercise
Want to try a simple and well-researched method of cultivating gratitude? At the start or end of each day, open a “gratitude journal” or simply speak aloud five “things” for which you feel grateful. They could include people you care about, a friend you recently reconnected with, a great conversation with your partner, your health, a pet, your home, the kindness someone showed you recently, the resolution of a conflict with a colleague or loved one, or the comfort of your body sitting in a chair or a cushion. Take a moment to notice how you feel as you write or name of these. What does this focus on gratitude feel like? Notice the feelings and thoughts that arise, as well as any shifts in your energy or posture. Just sit with this awareness for a moment, and move along to whatever’s next in your day.
Perhaps you’ve just been rejected by a romantic partner—or lost a job. Maybe a loved one has passed away. You take refuge in your bedroom and wait for the sobs… that never come. As it turns out, you’re not alone.
While there are no official statistics, the inability to cry is thought to be quite common. Many people can’t let out (negative) emotions in front of others—or at all.
While it’s not always pleasant to experience, crying has its upsides, including the ability to process emotionsand gain support from others.
The research into why people cry has taken off in the past dozen years, but there is less data on why some can’t mist up.
If you’re hoping for a definitive answer, you’ll be disappointed. Instead, there are many possible reasons why some of us can’t cry. I talked to world-renowned emotion researchers Ad Vingerhoets and Lauren Bylsma, and here is what I found:
Source: Karolina Grabowska/Pexels
1. Emotional Trauma
Having a history of emotional trauma can blunt the overt expression of feelings. According to Vingerhoets, a retired professor in the department of psychology at the University of Tilburg in the Netherlands, “From the moment someone experiences a psychic trauma, they can lose the ability to cry.” The reason usually involves a psychological defense mechanism to protect yourself from unpleasant feelings, either consciously or unintentionally.
Vingerhoets mentions several examples: an escaped victim of the serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer lost the capacity to cry after his rescue; a female patient who experienced a stillbirth couldn’t shed a tear in the many subsequent decades. And I’ve seen this with my own patients who have experienced trauma. The good news: If identified correctly, this is one of the more treatable causes of the inability to shed tears.
2. Your Personality Style
Crying is notoriously difficult to study in the laboratory because of the artificial conditions. Nevertheless, Vingerhoets’s body of research has found that those who cry regularly report feeling more connected to others and also receiving more social support. So, can the opposite be true?
According to Vingerhoets, there is only one published study that looks at some of the reasons for the inability to cry emotional tears. In this sample of 475 adults, the tearless subjects reported less connection to others, demonstrated less empathy, and had less of an emotional response to art forms and nature. But Vingerhoets points out that it’s nearly impossible to draw definite conclusions about the role of personality style in the lack of emotional expression from this single study.
Source: Nastya Dulhiier/Unsplash
3. Your Antidepressant
Some of the most widely used medications in psychiatry—the antidepressants known as selective serotonin (or serotonin/norepinephrine) reuptake inhibitors—can be an under-the-radar cause of suppressed tears. While they remain valuable tools in the treatment of anxiety and depression, these medications can make some patients feel numb. This effect will either get better or go away when the medication is withdrawn, or the dose is lowered. I’ve seen this numerous times over the years with my own patients.
One patient, “Tammy,” a woman in her early 60s taking a serotonin/norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor, was unable to cry while going through a painful divorce and battling cancer. When we reduced the dosage of her medication, however, the tears flowed freely, much to her relief.
4. Depression
This is counterintuitive and perplexing. Doesn’t being depressed mean crying more rather than less? It turns out that some patients with Major Depressive Disorder report feelings of emptiness rather than sadness. This is particularly true of a severe type of depression known as “melancholia,” where the sufferer regularly feels worse in the morning and experiences a complete lack of pleasure. The psychiatry diagnostic manual published by the American Psychiatric Association mentions melancholia as a subtype of Major Depressive Disorder and lists “empty mood” as a symptom.
5. A Medical Condition
This is less likely to be the culprit than some of the other reasons. While not common, there are a few medical conditions that can inhibit tear production. The autoimmune disorder Sjogren’s Syndrome causes dry eyes and can block the production of tears. An even rarer disorder, known as Moebius Syndrome—a congenital affliction—can block the movement of eye muscles and inhibit the lacrimal (tear-producing) glands. At times, lacrimal gland inflammation can also play a role.
Source: Cottonbro/Pexels
6. Social Stigma
Bylsma, an assistant professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Pittsburgh, states that “a need for control can keep some people from crying.” This is especially true for biological males, who cry, on average, less than once every two months, while biological females in Western countries cry two to four times per month. Take note: There is a lot of variation in these statistics, and we need to account for individual differences, childhood environment, and cultural and societal norms.
“People who were always invalidated as a child might be reluctant to cry. This is particularly likely for men,” says Bylsma. But societal norms have been shifting in recent years. Case in point: It’s become more acceptable for male athletes to cry in public at either defeat or victory.
The good news is that many, if not most, of these conditions are treatable. If you are frustrated by an inability to cry, it’s important to seek treatment from a medical or mental health professional who can help you explore the reasons for your lack of tears and guide you towards a resolution.
Style evolves and these celebrities always keep us updated with the latest trends by modelling apparel on their social media pages.
It depends on many factors and most importantly the person rocking the dress.
Celebrities have a whole team of helpers to get them ready for their big nights but for us normal people, we have to get our inspiration from the celebrities themselves. In absence of our personal stylists, we look to our favourite stars to give us much-needed outfit inspo.
With events, vacations, and birthday parties to attend, celebrities are never short of pictures to dazzle us with on Instagram.
Becca
Too much cuteness in one photo. This yellow fit and pony hairstyle is gorgeous.
Becca
Berla Mundi
An African angel by all standards. Dear Berla, we love how you are serving us beauty this season.
Berla Mundi
Anita Akuffo
Definitely no bad day for the media personality. We love to see.
Anita Akuffo
Serwaa Amihere
Always on point. Give us Serwaa.
Serwaa Amihere
Empress Gifty
A queen and more. Empress Gifty stunned us with this cultural outfit.
Empress Gifty
MOG
The man of God is serving as ministers’ suit goals and we are here for it.
MOG
Tima Kumkum
Birthday glam on point Tima.
Tima Kumkum
Andy Dosty
Andy is fashionable in the birthday fit.
Andy Dosty
Emefa Adeti
Emefa is a corporate workwear pro. We love the decency.
As the Global Citizen Movementcelebrates 10 years of advocacy, driving impact and encouraging businesses and people to take action and end extreme poverty.
The spotlight this year will be on Young Women and Girls, and how extreme poverty disproportionately affects them. This often results in them not meeting their full potential. During the worldwide live stream, The GlobalCitizen team will be showcasing the work which is being done to empower African women and girls.
“It is with great pride that we announce that one of the initiatives which will be showcased is our , “Always Keeping Girls in School Programme” –Shares Cassie Jaganyi , Communications Leader for P&G Sub-Sahara Africa. “Through this programme we have been able to donate 50 million pads to over 1 million girls in just 15years! – Adds Jaganyi.
The initiative which began in Kenya, is now active in South Africa, Ghana, Nigeria, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Senegal, Tanzania, Uganda, Kenya, Cote d’ivoire and Ethiopia.
The P&G Sub-Sahara team will be taking centre stage at this year’s festival with Cassie Jaganyi and Nombuso Mashele (Always Keeping Girls in School Programme ,Project Manager) tasked with sharing the amazing work being done in the region, with the rest of the world. The live presentation will also feature footage from Sekano-Ntoane Secondary School in Soweto, Johannesburg.
Sharing the stage will be, performers: Usher, Gyakie, Sarkodie, Stonebwoy, Stormzy, SZA, TEMS, and Uncle Waffles.
Berla Mundi, Joselyn Dumas, Michaela Coel, Nomzamo Mbatha, and Sabrina Dhowre Elba will be joining as presenters, with award-winning actor, playwright, and activist Danai Gurira as host.
Academic City University College has hosted the second edition of the Sci-Tech Fair, one of two events of the STEM Festival, another initiative of Primetime Limited, the producers of the National Science & Maths Quiz (NSMQ).
Ten senior high schools have converged on the campus of Academic City and are being challenged to build projects from scratch on the topic of “Recycling – Transforming waste into Reusable Products.” This event will take place from Thursday, September 22, to Saturday, September 24.
Given the growing significance of STEM education, Academic City has embarked on a partnership with Primetime to advance the field among young people. The goals of this program are to increase opportunities for young people in Ghana to explore and showcase their innovative ideas and to encourage the study of STEM subjects in schools.
The fair would have two parts: an exhibition and a competition between senior high schools called the Sci-Tech Innovation Challenge. This gives students and tech start-ups a place to put theory into practice by using the science concepts they have learned in class to come up with solutions or inventions that could help solve problems in Ghana.
The competing schools include Prempah College, Mfantiman Girls SHS, St. Augustine’s College, Obuasi SHTS, Tamale SHS and St. Thomas Aquinas SHS.
Others are Archbishop Porter Girls, Our Lady of Grace SHS, Okuapemman School and Ghana National College.
The university believes that the STEM Festival provides a suitable venue for encouraging and influencing young Ghanaians with relevant knowledge and experience on how to leverage the STEM opportunities for Ghana’s economic development.
Dr. Lucy Agyepong, Associate Dean of Engineering at Academic City, stated at the event, “I believe this initiative is crucial to Ghana’s socioeconomic development in leveraging the relevance of STEM. Academic City, as a forward-thinking educational institution, is eager to collaborate with relevant stakeholders on projects that expose children, adolescents, and the general public to STEM education’s opportunities.
Beyond the competition, Dr. Lucy emphasized the importance of interpersonal skills gained through teamwork. “They develop teamwork skills and even cultivate camaraderie with their peers”, she added.
The Managing Director of Primetime Ltd., Nana Akua Ankomah-Asare, stated that the theme for this year’s event has become timely as waste management and sanitation remain among Ghana’s most pressing issues.
According to her, “Primetime hopes that the student projects will amplify the campaign on proper waste management and provide a platform for innovative products addressing this issue to be showcased and, hopefully, put to good use.”
It’s a serious offense if you are being arrested and charged with Driving While Intoxicated (DWI). A skilled and experienced DWI lawyer who understands the law and what is required for a DWI charge to stick is required to overcome the charges. The existing legislation prohibits the defendant from negotiating a plea deal on their behalf.
A client’s DWI accusation and other evidence were removed. A criminal defense attorney must be inventive in supporting a client in getting their DWI accusation and other evidence removed, which is generally done on technical grounds. The technicalities are difficult to establish, but if the defense attorney can prove that the proper procedures were not followed, the DWI sentence may be dropped or reduced to a lesser charge with less severe punishment.
If charged with DUI/DWI after being involved in a motor vehicle accident, it is even more critical that you get a DWI accident lawyer in New Jersey to defend you. The offense is referred to as an ‘aggravating factor,’ resulting in increased penalties and even criminal charges if someone is hurt due to the collision.
Here’s What Happens If You Get in a DWI Accident
A DWI or DUI (driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs) is considered dangerous by politicians and law enforcement officials, not only for the driver and other passengers in the car but also for the pedestrians and other drivers. It is well recognized that a certain level of alcohol or other harmful chemicals in a driver’s bloodstream impairs their judgment and reflexes, increasing the chance of an automobile accident. Even though a DWI is a traffic infraction that can be handled in municipal court, drivers involved in an accident while driving drunk or with drugs in their system may face considerably more serious charges than a traffic violation. A DWI alone has serious ramifications, including driving limitations, license suspension, penalties, surcharges, and additional taxes and charges. In case you are involved in a DWI accident, you could be tried in court for the crime, especially if someone is seriously harmed. If found guilty, it can be extremely damaging both immediately and in the long run.
Being Charged with DWI
The punishment for a first-time conviction for DWI with a Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC) between 0.08 and 0.10 is a fine ranging between $250 and $400, along with a possible 30-day prison sentence if the incident did not result in an injury. A breathalyzer measures a driver’s BAC, usually administered after an officer has stopped them for driving erratically or otherwise suspiciously. The driver has failed or performed poorly during the field sobriety test to the officer who arrested the driver.
The driver must also pay a $1,000 insurance surcharge per year for the next three years and have an Ignition Interlock device fitted in their vehicle to be allowed to drive again legally. They must also attend two days at an Intoxicated Driver Resource Center (IDRC).
DWI-related offenses carry additional fines and sentences along with the standard DWI penalties; this can include driving with a suspended license due to a DWI, refusing to go through the breathalyzer test, and driving intoxicated with a child in the car. For a second offense, penalties include fines ranging from $500 to $1,000, up to 90 days in prison, a one- to two-year license suspension, and 30 days of community service.
The accused would also be required to use an Ignition Interlock device for two years after the license suspension is lifted, along with 48 hours in an IDRC and the payment of $1,000 in insurance surcharges for three years. For a third offense, the fine goes up to $1,000, as well as a prison sentence of up to six months, a license suspension of eight years, interlock maintenance for two to four years after the license suspension period has ended, completion of the IDRC program, and an increase in the insurance surcharge to $1,500 per year. All infractions result in an additional $425 in fees to be paid to various funds.
Charges Increase When Involved in a DWI Accident
If you are arrested for DWI/DUI and are involved in a major injury accident, the penalties escalate significantly. An attack by automobile is the charge filed against a driver who injures another person in an accident while driving under the influence (NJSA 2C:12-1c).
Suppose a driver is charged with assault by an automobile. In that case, they face a third-degree offense punishable with five years sentence in prison and a fine of $15,000 if driving while under the influence or in violation of a DWI sentence or refusal legislation. A second-degree offense could be filed against the driver for driving while intoxicated through a school zone or crossing and causing injury to others.
Prison sentences ranging from five to ten years and penalties of up to $150,000 are available for second-degree offenses. However, any time a person drives under the influence of alcohol or drugs and is engaged in an injury accident, they commit a fourth-degree offense that can result in 18 months in jail and a $10,000 fine. This encompasses all sorts of bodily injury, which means that the harm inflicted does not have to meet a “severe” injury standard to be charged with a fourth-degree offense at the very least.
How to Fight DUI Car Accident Charges
With credible evidence required to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the driver was impaired or had a BAC greater than.08 percent, casting doubt on the test results or police officers’ practices and judgment may be a successful defense. Otherwise, they must prove that the evidence against you was improperly acquired or maintained and should be suppressed or never considered when determining the charges.
This could prove to be a successful defense strategy. A skilled DUI attorney can cross-examine witnesses, such as police officers, to expose flaws in the prosecution’s case against the defendant. They may also demonstrate that the defendant’s motorist did not cause the accident or that the defendant’s driver was not the sole cause of the accident.
Demonstrating that an accident occurred due to a driver’s negligence or willful violation of DWI/DUI regulations and that the accident resulted in the victim’s injuries is critical to determining who is more at fault. A competent DWI defense attorney can assist you in casting doubt on the facts that are being used against you in a criminal, traffic, or civil case.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is DWI a criminal charge?
DWI is referred to be a “quasi-criminal crime.” This essentially indicates that it shares some, but not all, of the elements of a criminal charge. This is true in the sense that depending on the seriousness of your offense, how you manage it, or how many times you’ve been arrested for the charge, you could wind yourself in jail. Regardless, you will not have a lifelong criminal record if you are convicted of DWI.
What are the charges of a DWI offense?
When charged with DWI, an accused motorist does not have the right or opportunity to have a jury trial, even though jail time must be spent on third and higher convictions, and jail time can be a component of a second or even first conviction. This is based on the Supreme Court of the United States decision, which stated that jury trials are not required when the jail sentence does not exceed six months. A third DWI conviction results in a 180-day sentence in county jail.
Can a DWI sentence be reduced?
In the case of reduced DWI charges, prosecutors are not entitled to make plea bargains. The original charges in most DWI instances must be upheld, and you will be obliged to appear in court to defend yourself against those charges. However, this does not rule out the possibility of plea bargains for DWI convictions.
Would a DWI affect my job?
Although DWI is not considered a “criminal” offense, it is a serious issue. Because of a DWI, your company may dismiss you or take other negative steps, especially if your employer needs you to have a driver’s license.
A DWI arrest or conviction will almost certainly appear on a background check. As a result, it may have an impact on future employment opportunities.
Can I fight my DWI/DUI case on my own?
Yes, but it isn’t a wise decision. First and foremost, DWI law is a complex field. Lawyers can obtain various certifications that allow us to contest certain aspects of DWI cases brought against you.
The Ultimate Rule to Reducing DWI Charges
Hire an experienced DWI attorney
By demonstrating mitigating elements and a defendant’s candidacy for drug and alcohol diversion rather than jail time, a skilled and well-versed criminal and DWI defense lawyer can be important in making a case for a low sentence. A knowledgeable DUI attorney can assist their client in avoiding a criminal charge entirely. A skilled DWI lawyer can ensure that a defendant’s plea in municipal court will not be used against them as an admission in a civil case for harm or damages by requesting that the court enter a civil reservation on their behalf.
Jumia the leading e-commerce platform in Africa, has today announced a partnership with Coca-Cola Africa Operating Unit to offer consumers access to Coca-Cola products from the comfort of their homes. The partnership will provide a steady supply of Coca-Cola’s beverage portfolio to consumers who prefer to shop online through the Jumia platform and ensure they receive their orders in the shortest time possible.
“We are happy to partner with Coca-Cola to meet consumer demand for everyday products at the fastest delivery time and at affordable prices. Coming after the launch of our Quick Commerce – Jumia Food Mart, we are happy to let our consumers know that they can expect their delivery of beverages in under 20 minutes, offering convenience at its best,” said Romain Christodoulou, Jumia’s Chief Commercial Officer.
The move will increase the assortment available on Jumia and support product delivery in the fastest time possible. Consumers also will enjoy promotions such as ‘buy-one-get-one free’ and discounts of up to 20% on Coca-Colaorders. The initial rollout will be in Nigeria, Egypt, Kenya, Morocco, Côte d’Ivoire, and Uganda.
“We are pleased to partner with Jumia as we strive to meet the needs of consumers across Africa by making our beverages available for delivery to their homes when they need them. Through this, we will be offering an alternative for easy and fast access to Coca-Cola brands across several beverage categories to hydrate and refresh,” said Minas Vourodimos, Vice President for Customer & Commercial Leadership- Coca-Cola Africa Operating Unit
There has been a notable increase in purchases of everyday products on Jumia since the COVID-19 outbreak as more consumers than ever before continue to embrace online shopping. Groceries/everyday essentials is a fast-growing category on Jumia, according to the Africa e-commerce report entitled Jumia Africa e-Commerce Index 2021.
It’s a serious offense if you are being arrested and charged with Driving While Intoxicated (DWI). A skilled and experienced DWI lawyer who understands the law and what is required for a DWI charge to stick is required to overcome the charges. The existing legislation prohibits the defendant from negotiating a plea deal on their behalf.
A client’s DWI accusation and other evidence were removed. A criminal defense attorney must be inventive in supporting a client in getting their DWI accusation and other evidence removed, which is generally done on technical grounds. The technicalities are difficult to establish, but if the defense attorney can prove that the proper procedures were not followed, the DWI sentence may be dropped or reduced to a lesser charge with less severe punishment.
If charged with DUI/DWI after being involved in a motor vehicle accident, it is even more critical that you get a DWI accident lawyer in New Jersey to defend you. The offense is referred to as an ‘aggravating factor,’ resulting in increased penalties and even criminal charges if someone is hurt due to the collision.
Here’s What Happens If You Get in a DWI Accident
A DWI or DUI (driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs) is considered dangerous by politicians and law enforcement officials, not only for the driver and other passengers in the car but also for the pedestrians and other drivers. It is well recognized that a certain level of alcohol or other harmful chemicals in a driver’s bloodstream impairs their judgment and reflexes, increasing the chance of an automobile accident. Even though a DWI is a traffic infraction that can be handled in municipal court, drivers involved in an accident while driving drunk or with drugs in their system may face considerably more serious chargesthan a traffic violation. A DWI alone has serious ramifications, including driving limitations, license suspension, penalties, surcharges, and additional taxes and charges. In case you are involved in a DWI accident, you could be tried in court for the crime, especially if someone is seriously harmed. If found guilty, it can be extremely damaging both immediately and in the long run.
Read Also: Criminal Lawyers in Sydney and Its Suburbs Lauded Australia’s Best Criminal Law Firm
Being Charged with DWI
The punishment for a first-time conviction for DWI with a Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC) between 0.08 and 0.10 is a fine ranging between $250 and $400, along with a possible 30-day prison sentence if the incident did not result in an injury. A breathalyzer measures a driver’s BAC, usually administered after an officer has stopped them for driving erratically or otherwise suspiciously. The driver has failed or performed poorly during the field sobriety test to the officer who arrested the driver.
The driver must also pay a $1,000 insurance surcharge per year for the next three years and have an Ignition Interlock device fitted in their vehicle to be allowed to drive again legally. They must also attend two days at an Intoxicated Driver Resource Center (IDRC).
DWI-related offenses carry additional fines and sentences along with the standard DWI penalties; this can include driving with a suspended license due to a DWI, refusing to go through the breathalyzer test, and driving intoxicated with a child in the car. For a second offense, penalties include fines ranging from $500 to $1,000, up to 90 days in prison, a one- to two-year license suspension, and 30 days of community service.
The accused would also be required to use an Ignition Interlock device for two years after the license suspension is lifted, along with 48 hours in an IDRC and the payment of $1,000 in insurance surcharges for three years. For a third offense, the fine goes up to $1,000, as well as a prison sentence of up to six months, a license suspension of eight years, interlock maintenance for two to four years after the license suspension period has ended, completion of the IDRC program, and an increase in the insurance surcharge to $1,500 per year. All infractions result in an additional $425 in fees to be paid to various funds.
Charges Increase When Involved in a DWI Accident
If you are arrested for DWI/DUI and are involved in a major injury accident, the penalties escalate significantly. An attack by automobile is the charge filed against a driver who injures another person in an accident while driving under the influence (NJSA 2C:12-1c).
Suppose a driver is charged with assault by an automobile. In that case, they face a third-degree offense punishable with five years sentence in prison and a fine of $15,000 if driving while under the influence or in violation of a DWI sentence or refusal legislation. A second-degree offense could be filed against the driver for driving while intoxicated through a school zone or crossing and causing injury to others.
Prison sentences ranging from five to ten years and penalties of up to $150,000 are available for second-degree offenses. However, any time a person drives under the influence of alcohol or drugs and is engaged in an injury accident, they commit a fourth-degree offense that can result in 18 months in jail and a $10,000 fine. This encompasses all sorts of bodily injury, which means that the harm inflicted does not have to meet a “severe” injury standard to be charged with a fourth-degree offense at the very least.
How to Fight DUI Car Accident Charges
With credible evidence required to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the driver was impaired or had a BAC greater than.08 percent, casting doubt on the test results or police officers’ practices and judgment may be a successful defense. Otherwise, they must prove that the evidence against you was improperly acquired or maintained and should be suppressed or never considered when determining the charges.
This could prove to be a successful defense strategy. A skilled DUI attorney can cross-examine witnesses, such as police officers, to expose flaws in the prosecution’s case against the defendant. They may also demonstrate that the defendant’s motorist did not cause the accident or that the defendant’s driver was not the sole cause of the accident.
Demonstrating that an accident occurred due to a driver’s negligence or willful violation of DWI/DUI regulations and that the accident resulted in the victim’s injuries is critical to determining who is more at fault. A competent DWI defense attorney can assist you in casting doubt on the facts that are being used against you in a criminal, traffic, or civil case.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is DWI a criminal charge?
DWI is referred to be a “quasi-criminal crime.” This essentially indicates that it shares some, but not all, of the elements of a criminal charge. This is true in the sense that depending on the seriousness of your offense, how you manage it, or how many times you’ve been arrested for the charge, you could wind yourself in jail. Regardless, you will not have a lifelong criminal record if you are convicted of DWI.
What are the charges of a DWI offense?
When charged with DWI, an accused motorist does not have the right or opportunity to have a jury trial, even though jail time must be spent on third and higher convictions, and jail time can be a component of a second or even first conviction. This is based on the Supreme Court of the United States decision, which stated that jury trials are not required when the jail sentence does not exceed six months. A third DWI conviction results in a 180-day sentence in county jail.
Can a DWI sentence be reduced?
In the case of reduced DWI charges, prosecutors are not entitled to make plea bargains. The original charges in most DWI instances must be upheld, and you will be obliged to appear in court to defend yourself against those charges. However, this does not rule out the possibility of plea bargains for DWI convictions.
Would a DWI affect my job?
Although DWI is not considered a “criminal” offense, it is a serious issue. Because of a DWI, your company may dismiss you or take other negative steps, especially if your employer needs you to have a driver’s license.
A DWI arrest or conviction will almost certainly appear on a background check. As a result, it may have an impact on future employment opportunities.
Can I fight my DWI/DUI case on my own?
Yes, but it isn’t a wise decision. First and foremost, DWI law is a complex field. Lawyers can obtain various certifications that allow us to contest certain aspects of DWI cases brought against you.
The Ultimate Rule to Reducing DWI Charges
Hire an experienced DWI attorney
By demonstrating mitigating elements and a defendant’s candidacy for drug and alcohol diversion rather than jail time, a skilled and well-versed criminal and DWI defense lawyer can be important in making a case for a low sentence. A knowledgeable DUI attorney can assist their client in avoiding a criminal charge entirely. A skilled DWI lawyer can ensure that a defendant’s plea in municipal court will not be used against them as an admission in a civil case for harm or damages by requesting that the court enter a civil reservation on their behalf.
Celebrated Ghanaian actor, David Dontoh has stated that he will not be retiring anytime soon.
According to the longtime host of popular television game show “Agoro,” actors are the only professionals who never retire, hence he will be in the business till he can no longer physically.
“I don’t know why they even use that word ‘veteran actor’. I’m not retiring, in fact, actors are the only professionals who don’t retire. If I am even a hundred years and can walk and talk, I will still act,” he said on e-TV.
It’s a serious offense if you are being arrested and charged with Driving While Intoxicated (DWI). A skilled and experienced DWI lawyer who understands the law and what is required for a DWI charge to stick is required to overcome the charges. The existing legislation prohibits the defendant from negotiating a plea deal on their behalf.
A client’s DWI accusation and other evidence were removed. A criminal defense attorney must be inventive in supporting a client in getting their DWI accusation and other evidence removed, which is generally done on technical grounds. The technicalities are difficult to establish, but if the defense attorney can prove that the proper procedures were not followed, the DWI sentence may be dropped or reduced to a lesser charge with less severe punishment.
If charged with DUI/DWI after being involved in a motor vehicle accident, it is even more critical that you get a DWI accident lawyer in New Jersey to defend you. The offense is referred to as an ‘aggravating factor,’ resulting in increased penalties and even criminal charges if someone is hurt due to the collision.
Here’s What Happens If You Get in a DWI Accident
A DWI or DUI (driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs) is considered dangerous by politicians and law enforcement officials, not only for the driver and other passengers in the car but also for the pedestrians and other drivers. It is well recognized that a certain level of alcohol or other harmful chemicals in a driver’s bloodstream impairs their judgment and reflexes, increasing the chance of an automobile accident. Even though a DWI is a traffic infraction that can be handled in municipal court, drivers involved in an accident while driving drunk or with drugs in their system may face considerably more serious charges than a traffic violation. A DWI alone has serious ramifications, including driving limitations, license suspension, penalties, surcharges, and additional taxes and charges. In case you are involved in a DWI accident, you could be tried in court for the crime, especially if someone is seriously harmed. If found guilty, it can be extremely damaging both immediately and in the long run.
Read Also: Criminal Lawyers in Sydney and Its Suburbs Lauded Australia’s Best Criminal Law Firm
Being Charged with DWI
The punishment for a first-time conviction for DWI with a Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC) between 0.08 and 0.10 is a fine ranging between $250 and $400, along with a possible 30-day prison sentence if the incident did not result in an injury. A breathalyzer measures a driver’s BAC, usually administered after an officer has stopped them for driving erratically or otherwise suspiciously. The driver has failed or performed poorly during the field sobriety test to the officer who arrested the driver.
The driver must also pay a $1,000 insurance surcharge per year for the next three years and have an Ignition Interlock device fitted in their vehicle to be allowed to drive again legally. They must also attend two days at an Intoxicated Driver Resource Center (IDRC).
DWI-related offenses carry additional fines and sentences along with the standard DWI penalties; this can include driving with a suspended license due to a DWI, refusing to go through the breathalyzer test, and driving intoxicated with a child in the car. For a second offense, penalties include fines ranging from $500 to $1,000, up to 90 days in prison, a one- to two-year license suspension, and 30 days of community service.
The accused would also be required to use an Ignition Interlock device for two years after the license suspension is lifted, along with 48 hours in an IDRC and the payment of $1,000 in insurance surcharges for three years. For a third offense, the fine goes up to $1,000, as well as a prison sentence of up to six months, a license suspension of eight years, interlock maintenance for two to four years after the license suspension period has ended, completion of the IDRC program, and an increase in the insurance surcharge to $1,500 per year. All infractions result in an additional $425 in fees to be paid to various funds.
Charges Increase When Involved in a DWI Accident
If you are arrested for DWI/DUI and are involved in a major injury accident, the penalties escalate significantly. An attack by automobile is the charge filed against a driver who injures another person in an accident while driving under the influence (NJSA 2C:12-1c).
Suppose a driver is charged with assault by an automobile. In that case, they face a third-degree offense punishable with five years sentence in prison and a fine of $15,000 if driving while under the influence or in violation of a DWI sentence or refusal legislation. A second-degree offense could be filed against the driver for driving while intoxicated through a school zone or crossing and causing injury to others.
Prison sentences ranging from five to ten years and penalties of up to $150,000 are available for second-degree offenses. However, any time a person drives under the influence of alcohol or drugs and is engaged in an injury accident, they commit a fourth-degree offense that can result in 18 months in jail and a $10,000 fine. This encompasses all sorts of bodily injury, which means that the harm inflicted does not have to meet a “severe” injury standard to be charged with a fourth-degree offense at the very least.
How to Fight DUI Car Accident Charges
With credible evidence required to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the driver was impaired or had a BAC greater than.08 percent, casting doubt on the test results or police officers’ practices and judgment may be a successful defense. Otherwise, they must prove that the evidence against you was improperly acquired or maintained and should be suppressed or never considered when determining the charges.
This could prove to be a successful defense strategy. A skilled DUI attorney can cross-examine witnesses, such as police officers, to expose flaws in the prosecution’s case against the defendant. They may also demonstrate that the defendant’s motorist did not cause the accident or that the defendant’s driver was not the sole cause of the accident.
Demonstrating that an accident occurred due to a driver’s negligence or willful violation of DWI/DUI regulations and that the accident resulted in the victim’s injuries is critical to determining who is more at fault. A competent DWI defense attorney can assist you in casting doubt on the facts that are being used against you in a criminal, traffic, or civil case.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is DWI a criminal charge?
DWI is referred to be a “quasi-criminal crime.” This essentially indicates that it shares some, but not all, of the elements of a criminal charge. This is true in the sense that depending on the seriousness of your offense, how you manage it, or how many times you’ve been arrested for the charge, you could wind yourself in jail. Regardless, you will not have a lifelong criminal record if you are convicted of DWI.
What are the charges of a DWI offense?
When charged with DWI, an accused motorist does not have the right or opportunity to have a jury trial, even though jail time must be spent on third and higher convictions, and jail time can be a component of a second or even first conviction. This is based on the Supreme Court of the United States decision, which stated that jury trials are not required when the jail sentence does not exceed six months. A third DWI conviction results in a 180-day sentence in county jail.
Can a DWI sentence be reduced?
In the case of reduced DWI charges, prosecutors are not entitled to make plea bargains. The original charges in most DWI instances must be upheld, and you will be obliged to appear in court to defend yourself against those charges. However, this does not rule out the possibility of plea bargains for DWI convictions.
Would a DWI affect my job?
Although DWI is not considered a “criminal” offense, it is a serious issue. Because of a DWI, your company may dismiss you or take other negative steps, especially if your employer needs you to have a driver’s license.
A DWI arrest or conviction will almost certainly appear on a background check. As a result, it may have an impact on future employment opportunities.
Can I fight my DWI/DUI case on my own?
Yes, but it isn’t a wise decision. First and foremost, DWI law is a complex field. Lawyers can obtain various certifications that allow us to contest certain aspects of DWI cases brought against you.
The Ultimate Rule to Reducing DWI Charges
Hire an experienced DWI attorney
By demonstrating mitigating elements and a defendant’s candidacy for drug and alcohol diversion rather than jail time, a skilled and well-versed criminal and DWI defense lawyer can be important in making a case for a low sentence. A knowledgeable DUI attorney can assist their client in avoiding a criminal charge entirely. A skilled DWI lawyer can ensure that a defendant’s plea in municipal court will not be used against them as an admission in a civil case for harm or damages by requesting that the court enter a civil reservation on their behalf.
The superstar was spotted in Chorkor hanging out and interacting with some students from BASICS International school.
Usher was accompanied by SZA, who is also billed to perform at the festival in Accra and the two toured the Chorkor community.
According by a statement by the Ghana Tourism Authority, who shared photos from their visit, Usher and SZA’s visit was spearheaded by the BASICS International NGO in Chorkor.
“Today, the Global Citizen Festival artistes, Usher and SZA visited the BASICS international school and toured the Chorkor community.
BASICS International is an education-focused NGO in Chorkor, Accra, engaged in making education and childcare accessible in vulnerable communities. The organisation is also one of Global Citizen’s regional response partners for the End Extreme Poverty NOW campaign for Global Citizen Festival: Accra,” the Tourism Authority wrote.
Global Citizen Festival is in Ghana for the first time, marking the 65th anniversary of Ghana’s independence and the 20th anniversary of the African Union.
Accra’s iconic Black Star Square will see live performances from Usher, SZA, Stormzy, Gyakie, H.E.R., Sarkodie, Stonebwoy and TEMS and many others.
When I was a sophomore in high school, I attended class with a young man named Dale.
Dale was a weird guy. He was incredibly socially awkward.
He wasn’t physically attractive. He made people pretty uncomfortable, mostly due to his severe social ineptitude. The girls in class were especially put off by him. They often made fun of him, and avoided him like the plague.
He wasn’t particularly good at anything, and he never got invited anywhere. For the most part, people either wished that he wasn’t around, or they forgot he existed.
Now that I understand the socio sexual hierarchy, it’s clear to me that Dale was obviously an omega male. Keep reading to learn exactly what that means.
What Is an Omega Male?
Omega males are the ‘losers’ of society. I’m not saying that out of a spirit of meanness, or to make light of it. I’m saying it because this is their experience in life, and because it’s painfully true.
Women don’t just ‘dislike’ omegas. Omegas are the types of men women cross the street to avoid. They’re the types of men women overlook and ignore. To say that women are ‘disgusted’ by the idea of touching, kissing, sleeping-with, or dating an omega male would be an understatement.
This is what Vox Day himself, the creator of the socio sexual hierarchy, says about omega males:
The omega is the quintessential social reject. The omega is the one who is not even in the game where women are concerned. Whereas the gamma might be the one muttering in his beer to his friends in the corner at the party, nobody ever even thought of inviting the omega.
Why Are We Talking about the Omega Male?
The socio sexual hierarchy, created by Vox Day, is a hierarchical system that categorizes men into different social ranks via distinctly identifiable patterns of behavior. And while it isn’t a ‘be all, end all’ system for accurately pigeon-holing men into stereotypes, it’s useful as a self-awareness tool.
In other words, some men get stuck at the bottom—and it sucks. It sucks to be constantly rejected. It sucks to get bullied. It sucks to feel like nobody cares about you or wants you to succeed.
Dale, from my earlier story, was this kind of person. But he wasn’t the only one. I’ve known a handful of men like this in my lifetime.
Here at The Adult Man, our purpose is to help men level-up and become better men. And if there was ever a type of man who needed some help and encouragement to level up, it’s the archetypal omega male.
This is why I’m talking about the omega male, and why I see it as important.
I know for a fact that any man can change his destiny if he’s willing to put in the work and commit to it. And if you feel unwanted, undesired, and unfulfilled in life, it’s important for you to understand that there’s hope for a better future.
It isn’t pleasant to feel like you have zero control over your life or destiny. Life just doesn’t feel the same when you can’t get dates, score social wins, or assimilate as a high-value man into the social hierarchy.
But in this post, you’re going to learn how to change it.
Where Does the Omega Male Fit on the Socio Sexual Hierarchy?
There are 6 ranks in the socio-sexual hierarchy:
Alpha
Beta
Delta
Gamma
Sigma
Omega
Omegas live at the very bottom.
Omega males usually endure lives of loneliness, sadness, and depression.
And sometimes, this pushes them down an even darker road. Omegas may end up identifying as ‘incels,’ take the black pill, and completely withdraw from the hierarchy out of anger, frustration, and defeat.
These ‘black pilled’ omegas succumb to what they believe is the inevitable doom of men not born with movie-star sex appeal or the silver-spoon of wealth—the false belief that there’s no hope for them in this life—that giving up is the only option, and that trying to level-up and change their destiny will only end in disappointment and failure.
Unfortunately for omega males, life is tough at the bottom of the hierarchy. Vox Day describes this in vivid detail on his blog.
Omegas – the losers. Even the Gamma males despise them. That which doesn’t kill them can make them stronger, but most never surmount the desperate need to belong caused by their social rejection. Omegas can be the most dangerous of men because the pain of their constant rejection renders the suffering of others completely meaningless in their eyes.
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Alpha Male vs Omega Male
Alpha males are the top-dogs and leaders of the socio sexual hierarchy. Alphas and omegas don’t usually have much overlap. In fact, alphas rarely notice omegas, unless their presence in the hierarchy causes some kind of issue.
If omegas cause chaos in the hierarchy and throw things out of balance, however, then the alpha may step in to set things right.
For example: I used to host these wild parties when I was younger. These gatherings were well-known for the beautiful women and attractive men who attended them. People would dance, flirt, make out, etc. These were classy, fun, sexy, trendy parties—and you had to be or know someone to get invited to them.
At one point, this weird guy started attending. He was unattractive, awkward, and even bordered on being a bit on the creepy side with the women. He was most definitely an omega.
As the alpha of the group and the organizer of the parties, I made the decision to stop inviting him. I saw how adversely he affected the hierarchy, and decided to remove him from the equation to preserve its order, stability, and success.
Beta Male vs Omega Male
Beta males are the lieutenants—the alpha’s enforcers. These are the men who make sure that the rules are followed, that people stay in line, and that nobody causes chaos or trouble within the hierarchy.
It isn’t uncommon for the betas to try to ‘straighten out’ the omega if they see that he’s throwing off the usual balance of the hierarchy. They may haze him, bully him, torment him, and push him around.
In my example, a couple of my close friends (archetypal betas in this context) used to really lay into the weird guy who started coming to the parties. They got so stern with him that I told them they had to back off a few times.
Omega Male Traits: 5 Signs You’re an Omega Male
1. You’re Unattractive
For the most part, omega males don’t tend to be good looking. There are numerous advantages to being attractive. And due to no fault of their own, omegas are generally saddled with the difficult task of trying to succeed in life with below-average looks.
This isn’t to say that all omegas are ugly, or that they have no hope of ever being seen as attractive, however. We can all improve our appearance if we set our minds to the task and work at it.
As it turns out, social ineptitude may be a problem that some omegas are born with. As British psychologist Christopher Frith puts it:
Therefore, people with a deficient prefrontal cortex tend to have a much more difficult time figuring out what other people are thinking.
In other words—social ineptitude may be something we’re born with. And this may explain why some omega males have such a difficult time understanding social cues and interacting with others in a manner that feels ‘natural.’
But once again, this is something that omegas can work on and improve in their lives. If you’re socially awkward, you can fix it.
3. You’re Unpopular
If you struggle with popularity, there’s a good chance that you’ve got at least a foot inside the metaphorical ‘omega male door.’
Omega males are often rejected, overlooked, and abandoned. People either don’t notice them, or literally wish that they would disappear due to how awkward they make things.
Yep, it hurts. But it can also be fixed. Popularity is another skill that omegas can learn.
4. You Lack Hierarchical Consciousness
Omega males have a difficult time understanding the social hierarchy and how it works. They’re confused about why they’re constantly at the bottom of the pile, and at a loss to understand why they’re so disliked.
This only contributes to their frustration, which makes sense. How can you fix a problem when you don’t understand it?
Thankfully, omegas can fix this problem as well. Learning hierarchical consciousness is both possible and useful for men who want to improve themselves.
5. You Don’t Understand Women
Omega males have the worst luck with women. Some of them grow so frustrated, depressed, and tired of it that they simply stop trying.
But even deeper than their frustration with rejection lives the underlying fact that omega males simply don’t understand how the female brain operates. This makes it more difficult to identify and fix their problems.
The good news is that men who learn to understand women can often improve their odds. I would seriously recommend that you read the book Why Women Have Sex, by Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss. This book explains how women think about dating and sex, and provides information that’s invaluable to omega males who want to level-up and understand women better.
Drawbacks of Being an Omega Male
Being an omega comes with many drawbacks. But the most notable of these are echoed in the traits listed above. Omegas are:
Unattractive
Socially inept
Unpopular
Unaware of the hierarchy and ignorant of how it functions
Constantly rejected by women
These challenges make life difficult. Omegas are prone to depression, anxiety, self-loathing, and negative self-image issues. Their lives can actually be quite tragic if they don’t make an effort to improve themselves.
Are There Any Benefits of an Omega Male Lifestyle?
The main benefit to being an omega is best characterized in this quote, by American filmmaker David Keith Lynch:
It’s so freeing, it’s beautiful in a way, to have a great failure, there’s nowhere to go but up.
It’s no fun to be a man at the bottom of the hierarchy. But the good thing about being at the bottom is that you are in a perfect position to start making progress.
So, You’re an Omega Male. What Now?
By now, if you’re still reading, you may have come to the conclusion that you are, indeed, an omega male.
If so, what can you do about it?
First things first, it’s important to understand that you have the power to change your destiny and turn things around.
I, like you, used to struggle with women and getting people to like me. I struggled with popularity, I had no sense of style, and I felt completely alone and undesirable.
But I turned it around. And if I can do it, so can you.
These 3 steps will start you on the path to climbing out of the omega male hole, and into a life of happiness, fulfillment, and true masculine power.
Step 1: Find Your Purpose In Life
What do you care about? How do you want to make the world a better place? As a man, what are you passionate about?
Start pursuing the things you love and care about. Put real, genuine effort into these things, and start creating value for other people.
In other words—find your purpose in life and start pursuing it.
This may seem like a lot of work, and it is. But it’s so rewarding, and going through this process is incredibly healing for omega males who struggle with confidence, self-image, and self love.
Step 2: Set Some Goals And Start Working Toward Them
Most omega males I know just coast and drift listlessly along in life. They struggle to change their lives because they don’t have a purpose or a direction. As a result, they fail to develop any true masculine power.
To take back your masculine power and transform your life, it’s important to start setting some goals, or to develop a system for moving forward in life. Setting goals and working to achieve them is tremendously therapeutic for men who are trying to break out of the omega-male mold.
Step 3: Start Plugging Positive, Empowering Wisdom Into Your Life
Read books that will help you level up as a man. Listen to podcasts that will help you learn, grow, and evolve. Instead of listening to sad, depressing music, plug-in and listen to a great audiobook that will help you with learning and reflection.
Instead of sitting around being sad and drowning your feelings in booze, weed, porn, and video games, read positive content that will help to motivate you, inspire you, and change your life for the better.
Embracing your true masculine power begins by taking action. In the words of the wise Lao Tzu:
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
Conclusion
Hopefully this post has helped you to understand what an omega male is. And even more importantly, I hope it has helped you understand that you don’t need to settle for a life of rejection and sadness.
You can level-up and become a great man. All you need to do is get to work.
For more tips, tricks, and advice on how to succeed as a man, subscribe to our YouTube channel.
Go with grace, my friends. And never give up your power.
FAQs
Is it bad to be an omega male?
It isn’t fun to be an omega male, but being one doesn’t make you a bad person. The most important thing to remember about being an omega male is that it doesn’t have to be your destiny. You have the power to take control of your life and turn it into something awesome. All you have to do is determine within yourself that you’re tired of settling for less, and start putting in the work to level-up as a man.
What is a gamma male?
A gamma male is an intelligent, idealistic, yet socially awkward archetype who longs for the power and prestige held by the alphas and betas. He’s a hopeless romantic, though he tends not to be as successful with women as alphas, betas, sigmas, or deltas.
What is a sigma male?
The sigma male is the ‘lone wolf’ archetype. He’s a man who chooses to walk away from the social dominance hierarchy, opting for a life of pure freedom over the confines and social trappings of the tribe. Unlike the omega male, however, the sigma walks away from the hierarchy willingly. The omega, by contrast, is usually rejected from the hierarchy without any choice in the matter.
There was a time in my life when I was totally mystified by women, dating, and attraction.
I was confused, and datingwasn’t a fun experience for me.
I faced constant problems and rejection. The friend zone was my home, and I was ghosted more often than I wasn’t.
But all of that quickly changed when I started leveling up my mindset.
Here’s the thing. If you want to get better at something, you need to learn about it.
So if you want to level up your attraction and dating game, you need a source (or sources) of information to glean wisdom from.
In this post, you’re going to learn the 21 best dating books for men.
Many of these books were instrumental in helping me to escape my dead-end dating life.
They helped me to become a more attractive, higher value man with a thriving, fulfilling dating and sex life.
And now, I pass my list on to you.
Learn and adapt, my friends. This is where you start.
The Top Dating Books For Men in 2021
The Unplugged Alpha: The No Bullsh*t Guide To Winning With Women & Life
The Unplugged Alpha: The No Bullsh*t Guide To Winning With Women & Life
This book changed my life. Period. It’ll help you to understand the concepts of masculine frame and mental point of origin, which I believe are both crucial in your pursuit to become a better man for both yourself, and for the world. Cooper also breaks down the top 20 red flags that you should vet women for when considering them for a long term relationship, and they’re on point. I don’t say this lightly but it should be mandatory reading for all men.
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Richard Cooper has been a presence in the red pill Youtube space for years with his channel Entrepreneurs in Cars. His channel, rather affectionately known amongst his followers as ‘bomber command,’ is a place where men get ‘cold hard truth bombs’ about life, business, success, and women dropped on them daily.
And The Unplugged Alpha is basically the summation of Cooper’s life work through his YouTube channel, where he distills basic red pill ideology, dating tactics, information about the differences between men and women, and masculine wisdom down into a digestible single-length book that absolutely lives up to it’s name—a no bullsh*t guide to winning with women and life—and any man would find value in cracking it open and giving it a read.
The dating tips contained within it are pretty bullet-pointed. But its real value comes from how it helps men to understand the concepts of masculine frame and mental point of origin.
All in all, it’s a great resource for men on how to avoid making a trainwreck out of their lives by providing basic wisdom (like a father sharing wisdom with a son) that every man in our modern world should know and understand.
All things considered, it’s an absolute must-read if you want to achieve success with women and have a better dating experience.
The Noble Art Of Seducing Women: My Foolproof Guide To Pulling Any Woman You Want – Kezia Noble
This was the book that started me on my journey to understanding women.
And honestly, this is still one of my most recommended book for men who want to level up their dating game.
Kezia Noble is a genius. She almost fell into the pickup scene by accident—but has since gone on to become one of the most well-known and respected dating coaches for men.
From approach, to engagement, to flirting, to mindset—this book delivers a well-rounded introduction to pickup for men who desperately want (and need) to figure out where they’re going wrong with women.
If you want to crush it in your dating life, this best-seller by Kezia Noble is a must-read.
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty – Mark Manson
From the highly renowned author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and written in Manson’s usual engaging tone, this book will teach you how to be more honest, vulnerable, and guide you to set boundaries so that you can truly connect with women and attract them without manipulation.
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I wasn’t sure what I was in for with this one. I’ve been a long-time reader of Mark Manson’s blog, but I was still more than surprised by how insightful and valuable this book was.
As you’d expect from the bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,Modelsis straightforward. It talks a lot about developing yourself as a man. It also speaks about the strength of being completely open, honest, and genuine. This strong masculine mindset brings a lot of value to your frame, and every man needs it.
Manson isn’t a pickup artist. He’s a very successful man who doesn’t really need ‘pickup’ to win with women. And if that approach appeals to you, this is probably the best dating advice book that you could get your hands on.
Art of Seduction – Robert Greene
There are two things that you need to know about this book.
It will help you understand how to seduce anyone
It isn’t totally focused on one-night stands
This book actually explains the process of seduction in such a way that it won’t just get women to fall into bed with you—it will actually help you to understand how to get women to fall in love with you.
Written by the best-selling author of The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction brings together thoughts about seduction from thinkers such as Ovid, Freud, Kierkegaard, and Einstein.
It also maps out and explores the achievements of some of the greatest seducers throughout history. The exploits of John F. Kennedy, Andy Warhol, Josephine Bonaparte, and even Cleopatra are all explored and discussed.
This book essentially gets to the heart of what seduction is, what tactics work, and how to conceptualize these tactics in your mind.
I was turned on to this book by Alex from Mindful Attraction. Anything Alex recommends is worth a look, because he’s brilliant—and this book is no exception.
The Dating Playbook For Men: A Proven 7 Step System to Go From Single to The Woman Of Your Dreams – Andrew Ferebee
This book skips the ‘weird seduction tactics’ and complicated pickup techniques of yesteryear to jump headfirst into raw, actionable steps that you can take to level yourself up as a man, build a stronger frame, and develop the social skills necessary to crush it in the dating marketplace.
TheDating Playbook was written by Andrew Ferebee, founder of Knowledge for Men. His whole platform is designed to help men reclaim their masculine power, increase their confidence, and build a thriving social life complete with high-quality dating built-in.
And this book is the perfect complement to that mindset.
Need a guide that’s easy to follow, that will give you actionable steps that you can start incorporating today? This may be the book for you.
Alpha Male Strategies: Dating Techniques in the Social Media Age – By Alpha Male Strategies
This book covers the kinds of topics men need to hear in the digital age. It especially focuses on strategies for dealing with issues like ghosting and flaking—stuff that happens more today than it did a few decades ago.
Alpha Male Strategies comprises the coming-of-age wisdom that a masculine father figure might pass on to his son.
Work on yourself. Become a high value man. Get your sh*t together. Do something that you’re going to enjoy doing for the rest of your life—general masculine life and dating advice for the modern man.
The Pickup Artist: The New and Improved Art of Seduction – Mystery
Anyone who knows anything about game and pickup has heard of Erik von Markovik—also known as Mystery.
No list of dating books for men would be complete without bringing the old-school master of the game into the mix.
Pickup Artist literally ‘picks up’ (yes, I’m a clever punster) where Mystery is today. He’s still the master of seduction, but he’s assembled a new collection of steps and has refined his approach to pickup.
You see, women have caught-on to the classic pickup tactics of yesteryear. And this book is Mystery’s response to that. It’s truly worth a read, and I promise that you’ll learn a few things you didn’t know.
Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction – Christopher Canwell
Christopher Canwell is a psychologist who specializes in relationships and attraction.
He’s the founder of the website Develop Attraction, where he publishes content and offers coaching for people who need help with their dating/relationship problems.
Atomic Attraction is a refreshing, interesting take on attraction, desire, and seduction. It also digs into the topic of masculinity, and helps to explain it to men who aren’t sure what it means to be a man in today’s complicated world.
It’s simple, straightforward, and effective.
Here’s what the author says about the book on his website:
Atomic Attraction “takes us on a journey through the dark waters of attraction. What turns women on? What makes them choose one man over another? And how can you become truly desirable and attractive?”
Canwell grounds the book in science, and references 40 real life case studies to help you understand the facts behind the game.
Mate: Become the Man Women Want – Tucker Max
Tucker Max, the best-selling author of the books I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and Assholes Finish First, teamed up with leading evolutionary psychologist Dr. Geoffrey Miller to create this quintessential guide to what women are really looking for in men.
And it’ll truly open your eyes.
To wrap it up in one sentence, it’s a book about how to become the best version of yourself, and then show it off to attract high-value women.
You’ll learn about a range of attractive traits that you can develop to make yourself more desirable to women.
It teaches self confidence, how to be a win/win man, and how to understand the perspective of the ‘other person.’
You’ll learn about leveling up your physical body, your mind, how you use your intellect, and how to cultivate stronger willpower. You’ll also learn about the important differences between agreeableness and assertiveness.
Overall, a top read.
The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire – David Deida
This book is truly a must-read for every man on the planet who wants to succeed at life, love, work, and anything else that has anything to do with being a man.
Written by David Deida, one of the most provocative and insightful spiritual teachers of our modern day, the book challenges men to pursue and fulfill their true purpose in life. It calls for authentic masculinity, and provides guidance through the journey of life.
On the dating side of things, the book does a good job of helping men to understand women, attraction, and what it means to be a man of high value.
If you’re interested in unraveling the mystery of relationships, and want to find your genuine frame while building authentic masculine attraction—then The Way of the Superior Man is a genuine work of art to add to your collection.
To Be A Man: A Guide To True Masculine Power – Robert Augustus Masters
This was the book that started me on the path to understanding who I was as a man.
It also helped me to understand my own masculinity—the shadow material that lives in all of us—and how to face and defeat my inner shame.
If you’re having dating problems, I promise that you must confront your inner shame to fix them—and Robert Augustus Masters shows you how to do it in this powerful and enlightening work, written for men who are genuinely struggling with what it really means to be a man.
In a dating context, this book will show you how to become a powerful, authentic, fully-actualized male—the kind of man women actually want, need, and desire.
It’s not a ‘dating book’ necessarily. But the “inner work” this book will help you to accomplish makes it a must-read for men who want to step fully into a strong, powerful, and healthy masculine frame.
The Rational Male – by Rollo Tomassi
The Rational Male isn’t for the faint of heart. This book will turn every idea you have about relationships, dating, and intergender dynamics on its head.
It will also ruin romance for you, unless you’re willing to adapt your ideas to the way things truly are in the world.
Rollo Tamassi is the man behind The Rational Male. The best way to describe his work is like this—he educates men about the true nature of women, the common pitfalls men face in dating and relationships in our modern age, and much, much more.
When I say that he educates men about the true nature of women—you need to understand that if you’ve never been exposed to the ‘manosphere’ or ‘red pill’ ideology, this book is literally going to blow your worldview wide open.
But I can tell you this from personal experience. Rollo Tomassi knows what he’s talking about, and he’s extremely good at what he does.
The Rational Male deals with several topics, including:
Positive masculinity
The feminine imperative
Plate theory
Operative social conventions
Game awareness
The core psychological theory behind “red pill” ideology
If you want to read something that will forever change the way you view the interactions between men and women, this book is a critical addition to your library.
The Way Of Men – By Jack Donovan
This one is a bit on the controversial side in the sense that it’s all about men embracing positive masculinity. It takes a deep look into what it really means to be a man, and it sugarcoats nothing.
Yes, it’s weird that such such topics are considered controversial—but in our modern day and age, that’s the truth. If you’re a feminist, this book may trigger you a little bit—but it packs in a ton of value for men.
(And honestly—what quality book about masculinity wouldn’t trigger a feminist or two?)
I may not 100% agree with everything in the book, but it does a really good job of explaining what it sets out to explain.
If you’re interested in attracting women and becoming a better man, this book will be an interesting read.
Note: Jack Donovan is an intriguing, if somewhat controversial character—and his rabbit hole online is deep. His content isn’t for the faint of heart, and I don’t jibe with him 100% on everything.
But for men who are trying to understand masculinity, what it is, and what place it holds in the world, this book is a definite must-add to your reading list.
How to Be a 3% Man, Winning the Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams – Corey Wayne
Any man who has ever searched for dating tips online has probably come across Corey Wayne’s content.
His YouTube channel boasts more than 2,200 videos, and he dedicates many of them to helping men with their dating and relationship problems.
How to Be a 3% Man pulls back the veil and teaches men “the hidden secrets to completely understand women.”
It covers dating, relationships, how to meet women, how to create sexual attraction—and best of all, it offers step-by-step instructions to help you do all of these things while staying true to yourself as a man.
No More Mr Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life – Robert A. Glover
No More Mr Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life
Dr. Robert Glover is a certified marriage and family therapist and also a former “nice guy.” In his book, he describes what he calls “Nice Guy Syndrome” and why it’s so damaging to a man’s life and all of his relationships. Inside, you’ll learn how to stop seeking approval from others and start getting what YOU want out of life, male friendships, and relationships with women.
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Robert A. Glover originally released this controversial title as an ebook. But it became so successful and caused such a stir that he landed a spot on The O’Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh Radio Show.
He was the man who originally coined the term “Nice Guy Syndrome,” and this book is exactly what it sounds like it is.
It’s a book dedicated to helping men who try too hard to please others, while neglecting and overlooking their own needs, wants, and desires.
In a dating context, these principles are invaluable to maintaining a strong masculine frame—and this book is a must-read for any man who tends to get ‘walked on’ by dating partners, women, other men, their bosses, etc.
The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating – David M. Buss
After studying (and practicing) pickup for about two years, I thought I understood men and women pretty well.
Boy, did this book prove me wrong.
Written by one of the founding fathers of evolutionary psychology, this book presents a first-of-its-kind, unified theory on the subject of human mating behavior.
Filled with scientific research kindly watered down for us ‘normal people’ to understand, it explains why humans behave the way they do in a mating-behavior context.
What are we attracted to? Why are we attracted to it? What are men and women really looking for in their partners? These are just a few of the questions that Dr. Buss answers within this book.
If you want to understand the core, fundamental principles of attraction—and desire to see how they influence human behavior at the foundational level, then this is the number-one book you need to read.
Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love – Helen Fisher
Dr. Helen Fisher is a biological anthropologist and Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute (yes, THE Kinsey Institute—founded by Dr. Alfred C. Kinsey, the man responsible for The Kinsey Scale).
She’s a specialist in the areas of evolution, biology, and psychology.
She’s also a leading authority on the topics of romantic love, attachment, divorce, monogamy, adultery, sexuality, and human-based personality styles—among many other things.
In this book, the author gets in depth with exactly what’s going on in the brain when someone ‘falls in love.’
As a dating coach, the knowledge contained within this book is invaluable to me.
Understanding the biology of attraction helps us to understand why humans behave the way they behave, and gives us a fascinating look into the foundational modus operandi of men and women on the dating marketplace.
If you like to get a little nerdy about attraction science, this book is a must-read work of art from a brilliant author.
Why Women Have Sex – Cindy Meston and David M. Buss
If you want to truly understand what turns women on, and why—this is the book for you.
It’s scientific and a bit dry at times, but the glimpses of knowledge, the stories, and the science of human mating behavior woven throughout it are invaluable.
As a man, this book really helped me to level-up my understanding of female mating behavior. And as a man who loves women, it helped me to conceptualize not just what gets women into bed, but also what they want, crave, and desire in a man.
If you’re struggling to understand women, grab a copy of this book.
Mating In Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence – Esther Perel
Mating In Captivity is, according to the author, “an honest, enlightened, and provocative conversation on relationships and sexuality” that goes “beyond the common labels of smut or sanctimony.”
This is an especially useful book if you’ve experienced (or repeatedly seem to experience) infidelity in your dating lives/relationships.
It’s also a must-read if you struggle with more conservative dating ideals, and feel held-back by your inability to conceptualize the full scope and depth of human sexuality.
I recommend this book as a dating book for men for exactly that reason.
If you want to flourish on the dating marketplace, you need to embrace a larger way of thinking. You need to understand that sexuality and attraction aren’t black and white, but a vast matrix of overlapping factors.
Sex is both highly simple and highly complicated, all at the same time. And this book does a fantastic job of explaining that.
The Man’s Guide to Women – John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Douglas Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams
Women are mysterious—and in this book, the authors attempt to help men unravel this mystery.
Based on solid scientific research, this book proposes a unique idea—that men have the power to make or break their relationships.
While it talks more about relationships than dating tips, I still think it’s an invaluable read for men who want to level up their dating game.
It’s important for men to understand that what they choose to do while dating and conducting relationships matters.
And this book explores this notion in unapologetic, simple-to-understand terms.
To quote the book’s introduction:
Men, you have the power to make or break a relationship. That’s right. Research shows that what men do in a relationship is, by a large margin, the crucial factor that separates a great relationship from a failed one. This does not mean that a woman doesn’t need to do her part, but the data proves that a man’s actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship succeeds or fails, which is ironic, since most relationship books are written for women.
It’s a solid read if you want to take ownership over your dating life and win.
Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People – Vanessa Van Edwards
She hasn’t written a dedicated ‘dating book’ yet (I’m patiently waiting for the day she does—and then I’ll be first in line to get a copy).
But Captivate is no less valuable as a dating resource, because it contains within it the key to knowing how people work, and spotting their behavioral cues in real-time.
Here’s how the author describes it.
When you understand the laws of human behavior you can get along with anyone, and your influence, impact, and income will increase as a result. What’s more, you will improve your interpersonal intelligence, make a killer first impression, and build rapport quickly and authentically in any situation—negotiations, interviews, parties, and pitches.
5 pages into this book, my mind was exploding with new information—and it has been an invaluable resource in helping me to understand body language and behavior in dating situations.
It isn’t a ‘dating book,’ but if you want to learn how to make a fantastic first impression and better understand body language, give it a read.
Bonus: 4 Best Dating Courses for Men
Kezia Noble’s Seven-Day Mastery Course
I’ve been following Kezia Noble for years—and everything she puts out is worth the money.
Her Seven-Day Mastery Course is no exception.
During this course, you actually go to a physical location, meet Kezia and her team, learn with hands-on training and guidance, and then go out and test what you’ve learned at the clubs after dark.
If going out and attending the course in-person isn’t your thing, Kezia also offers an Acceleration Home Training Program, which is arguably just as valuable.
I like Kezia Noble’s approach because:
She’s a woman, so she understands women
She doesn’t hold back
She tells it like it is, and her methods have been proven to work over and over again.
Mark Manson’s Dating and Relationships Course
Mark Manson is the king of masculine self improvement—and I believe that his dating course offers incredible value.
Learn your relationship type, back-engineer your dating problems, eliminate the 9 mindsets that may be sabotaging your dating life, and more.
The course comprises a series of video lessons, and each lesson comes with an exercise.
These exercises will require you to go out and interact with real people—which is awesome.
I love Mark Manson, and his dating course is absolutely on-point.
The Mystery and Beckster Pickup Masterclass
This is a video bundle that combines Mystery 2.0 material with Beckster Lifestyle Techniques to give you a massive masterclass video bootcamp.
Mystery may seem dated to some people, but this is a brand new course. And I’ll be honest with you—I’m pretty pumped about the new stuff he’s been doing.
He’s one of the oldest and most experienced masters of game and pickup—and the value you get from all of this material will doubtlessly teach you some things you’ve never learned before.
I think it offers huge value for the money, especially if you’re interested in pickup and game.
Dark Game, From Alex at Mindful Attraction
I’m a regular consumer of Alex’s content, and I can tell you from personal experience that Dark Game is a ‘game changer’ for men.
This course is especially valuable if you’re a guy who:
Doesn’t understand women
Finds themselves stuck in the friend zone on a regular basis
Can’t figure out how to deal with ‘flaky women’
Is sick and tired of rejection
Alex knows his game—and though he’s young, I would put him on-par with some of the greats.
My favorite thing about him is that his stuff isn’t all ‘game.’ He blends game and pickup with the need to hold frame, incorporate your shadow, and grow into your own mature masculinity.
He even talks about tribal dating (though he doesn’t necessarily call it that)—which I’m a huge fan of.
Conclusion—My Top Recommended Dating Book for Men
Recommending one single book from this list is a tough mandate. You really should read all of them to level up your game and upgrade all aspects of your dating life.
This book will give you a little bit of everything.
She goes hard on game in it, but she also talks about the importance of maintaining a strong, masculine frame (though she doesn’t use that exact verbiage).
She’s unapologetically honest about women. But she doesn’t sugarcoat it for the men, either.
The book serves as a fantastic primer for men who have never been exposed to game/pickup, and accomplishes a lot within its 214 pages.
I literally plan to make this book required reading for my son when he starts dating—so that should tell you something about how useful I found it.
But at the end of the day, remember this:
Every man’s journey is different, and every man will need different tools to help him accomplish his mission and purpose.
So read through the list, see which books stand out to you, and start leveling-up your knowledge.
The most important part of all of this is that we seek to continue to become better men.
Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power.
Ever found yourself stuck in the rain with a wonky, bargain-barrel umbrella that would be of better use to a suicidal Mary Poppins?
How about bringing home a date knowing that you haven’t washed your only set of bed sheets since The Unspeakable Accident of 2019?
If you answered yes to either of the above, this list is undoubtedly for you.
It’s not about being materialistic. It’s about understanding that the things you surround yourself with are an indication of your values, confidence, and self-respect.
These are the 56 things every man should own.
A Slim Wallet
Once.
That’s the number of times you’re allowed to tell the joke about how your wallet is so bulky that it puts George Costanza’s to shame.
When the laughter ends (and it will), it’s time to go out and invest in a slim, leather wallet of quality build. Something like this one from Morjas is a good choice (they’re fantastic shoemakers so they know leather):
Morjas The Wallet
Handcrafted in Spain with hand-painted edges and all the compartments you need, this is the kind of wallet that makes you feel like a total boss every time you whip it out.
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The Luca Faloni Bifold is another solid choice if you prefer the cardholder style:
Luca Faloni Bifold Cardholder
Made in Florence with full grain vegetable tanned leather, the Luca Faloni Bifold Cardholder is a pocket prince in nearly every respect. It features four card slots plus four sleeves, comes with a luxury dust bug, and fits ever so sleek in your pocket due to its compact dimensions. We like.
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As a general rule, only place those cards and items in it you use on a weekly basis. If you go a week without using an item in your wallet, take it out and leave it at home.
An Electric Toothbrush
Gents, this one really is a no-brainer.
An electric toothbrush means less work and you remove more plaque.
You remove more plaque, and you have better breath.
Your have better breath and Tiffany doesn’t dip for an Uber the minute you go for a kiss.
I’m a sucker for habit tracking apps and so I’ve been on the smart electric toothbrush train for the last few months. I like this quip one because you only have to pair it once to your phone and it syncs your brushing stats automatically there on out via Bluetooth.
quip Smart Electric Toothbrush
If you didn’t think they’d eventually come out with an app that pairs with your toothbrush, you haven’t been alive for the last 5 years. I’ve had the quip Smart Toothbrush for a few months now and going back to manual brushing really would feel like going back to 1990. It has strong vibrations, a long-lasting battery, and a sleek and stylish aesthetic. I’m all aboard the smart brush train.
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A Book Collection
A book collection doesn’t kick off this list by accident. Reading is the crowning workout for your mind. It boosts intelligence, improves memory function, makes you more empathetic, and helps you relax.
These are crucial functions in every aspect of a man’s life. As an avid reader, your conversation will be more interesting, your relationships more rewarding, your training performance will improve, and you will make better financial decisions.
Does Reddit count as reading? I can’t believe you just asked me that.
Further Reading: 75 Books Every Man Should Read Before He Dies
A Face Care Set
I’m not saying you need to go full American Psycho. But gents, we’ve only got one mug, and like it or not—it’s the first thing that you present to the world anywhere you go.
If you’ve never done anything for your skin beyond hack at it with a razor or beard trimmer, you’ll be amazed at the difference even just a nightly cleanse and moisturize will do for your complexion. It’s undoubtedly one of the simplest things you can do to look better.
My go-to is Verso for skin care because it’s actually noticeably improved how my skin looks, but roll with whichever system you like. The most important thing is that you do something.
Verso Discovery Skin Care Set
Our top recommended skin care system for men. It includes:
Facial Cleanser to remove impurities, excess oil, pollutants and old skin cells.
Super Eye Serum to help with dark spots and reduce signs of aging around the eyes.
Night Cream with Retinol 8 to firm and tighten your look and rejuvenate your complexion overnight.
Hydration Serum to combat dryness and hydrate your skin to keep it looking smooth and soft and reduce fine lines and discoloration.
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At Least One Pair of Dress Shoes
I have a dark past. Let me tell you a tale.
As a young man, I thought I could get by with the bare minimum. I have two pairs of shoes—neither very dressy. Things were fine. Until I had to go to a funeral, and I only had workout shoes and beat up sneakers. I opted for the sneakers, but I knew I’d made a mistake.
I should’ve had dress shoes, even if I would rarely use them. There are plenty of other, happier reasons to have dress shoes, like weddings, or walking into an office like a total boss. At the very least, you should own one pair of black plain cap toe Oxfords for formal occasions.
The MYRQVIST Äppelviken Black Calf is my pick under $250. It’s goodyear welted so it’ll last for 10+ years (at which point you can resole), handcrafted, and incredibly comfortable. You can choose from a leather (better for rare formal use) or half-rubber sole (better for daily use).
The ideal affordable black plain cap toe Oxford doesn’t exi—oh, wait. When I first saw that this came in at under $250 I had to do a double take. These beauties are handcrafted in Portugal with a goodyear welted construction and made from full grain French leather. If you don’t already have your formal dress shoes locked down, these are well worth a look.
This is one good looking shoe. Goodyear welted? Yep. Handmade in Spain? Sí Señor. They’re actually made in 128 steps across 61 dedicated working stations and you really can see and feel the quality of the workmanship. Easily one of our go-to Oxford recommendations.
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A Passport
To travel is to take a journey into yourself. – Danny Kaye
Inspirational quote aside, traveling is one of the most cost-effective investments you can make in yourself as a man. You’ll widen your cultural understanding, gain new insights, meet new people, and get to tell crazy stories about the time you drank eight liters of mint tea in an hour when you went to Morocco.
And guess what? You’ll be a more informed and entertaining person to be around (i.e. more interesting to date/ be friends with).
If you’re unsure about your purpose in life and you don’t have a passport, I’ve just provided you with a purpose for the next two weeks. Get a damn passport and throw a dart at a map.
A Toiletry Bag
Have a pre-packed wash bag ready to go at all times. Save space in your suitcase/weekend bag and never taste leaked cologne on your toothbrush again.
Crafted from premium Italian leather, this dopp kit is one of those purchases you make once in your life but appreciate on every trip you bust it out for. Beyond the build quality, my favorite part is the zipped pocket inside which is ideal for keeping those small tidbits organized that you always end up losing under the hotel counter.
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A Pair of White Minimalist Dress Sneakers
Jetting downtown to run some errands? White dress sneaker.
Afternoon coffee date? White dress sneaker.
About to be the first man on Mars? Whi…OK, too far.
White minimalist dress sneakers have catapulted in popularity in recent years and I can understand why. They’re hugely versatile and look equally clutch anchoring suit as they do paired with cuffed jeans or chinos.
I always recommend the Oliver Cabell Low 1s to guys looking to get their first pair. They’re made in Italy from full grain calfskin Italian leather which means they last if you look after them (I even put sneaker trees in mine and wipe them down after every wear—yes I am that guy.).
I think they offer the most value for their sub $200 price among their competitors, especially given they’re transparent with their pricing structure so you know where your money is going.
The Low 1 is Oliver Cabell’s most popular shoe, and once you have it in your hands you’ll know why. Made in Italy from full grain calfskin Italian leather, it boasts a handsome low-profile silhouette and punches well above its weight for its price point.
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An Age-Worthy Leather Belt
There are two golden rules when it comes to belts.
Match your belt color with the color of your shoes, and don’t skimp on quality. This advice is as helpful as the “birds and the bees” talk was from your Dad, trust me. This means you should have at least a brown and black belt (or one reversible) in your collection.
I always recommend Luca Faloni for dudes looking to pick up their first quality belt. They’re simple, but the leather ages very well and develops a beautiful patina the more you wear it.
What’s the only thing better than having a reversible black and brown calf leather belt in one? Having one that’s handmade in Italy with some of the finest calf leather out there. The buckle is also Italian made and built to last, which is ideal as it’s the buckle that usually falls apart first. This isn’t cheap, but your belt literally ties your whole outfit together and so it shouldn’t be.
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A Go-to Recipe
I’m not saying you need to become a classically trained chef. But every man should have a go-to recipe he’s absolutely mastered.
Why?
Date night, poker night, or just setting yourself up with amazing dinners for a busy workweek. There are plenty of reasons to have a top-notch meal at the ready.
My favorite is slow-cooker tacos. I get a pork shoulder, toss it in a crock-pot with some salt and seasonings, and let it go for six to twelve hours—whichever is most convenient for me. Toss some salsa on that and wrap it in a tortilla, and you’re all set.
She’ll be impressed with your good taste and refinement when it’s your turn to cook. And she’ll be even more impressed if you can top off the dish with your own home grown herbs.
A Good Quality Watch
A watch is not just for subtly hinting that you’re done with that forced coffee catch up with your increasingly distant cousin.
A quality watch (with hands, guys) is the quintessential complement to any outfit. Match the color of your watch band with your belt and shoes.
If dive watches are your jam, you can’t go past the Baltic Aquascaphe for value:
Measuring a highly versatile 39mm in width (47mm lug-to-lug), French microbrand Baltic bring to the conversation one of the finest sub-$1000 dive watches on the market with the Aquascaphe. We particularly love its clean design lines and symmetry, unique “grainy” dial finishing, and particularly the aesthetic of the black / cream variant.
Featuring a Swiss Ronda movement, domed sapphire crystal, and coming with two straps, this military-inspired field watch by Vaer is easily one of our favorite affordable timepieces.
You will notice a trend as you develop into a self-respecting adult man. The growing importance of appropriateness. Appropriate clothing, appropriate demeanor, and in this case, an appropriate bag.
An impromptu weekend away with a new girlfriend? Mid-week work excursion? You’ll need a bag that is the perfect size to carry around a couple of days worth of things while still being manageable enough to handle with ease. Meet my good friend, the weekend bag.
I haven’t found a better quality bag for the price than the Valisa from Velasca.
Made from 100% cotton canvas and detailed with 100% bovine leather, the Valasca Valisa is 100% weekend approved by us. Its leather padded canvas strap is comfortable by shoulder or by hand and the external side pocket is perfect for your sneaks.
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This canvas beauty features leather details that are 2.8mm thick and made of 100% bovine leather. It’s super sturdy, fits plenty of stuff, and looks fantastic.
The Floyd Weekender packs a lot of value with multiple compartments inside and out, two different colored adjustable shoulder straps, and our favorite part—it easily attaches to any suitcase to make your next trip to the airport a breeze.
Protect your eyes from our favorite star while looking like a boss. Need I say more?
I’m a big fan of the aviator style for its suit-up or dress-down versatility, and my favorite pair is the Roderer Edgar for its classic shape and bang-for-buck build quality.
Roderer have impressed me with their handcrafted take on the classic aviator style. I really dig the gunmetal / black colorway, but they come in four other colors as well. Each features spring hinges and adjustable silicone nosepads for optimal fit and comfort.
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I’m also really digging Selfmade lately. Their styles are my kind of vintage and they use Italian Mazzucchelli acetate like the big boys but at a fraction of the cost.
These frames have what look like an octagonal shape from the temple and above, but a rounded shape at the bottom. Pair that with a keyhole bridge and two gold details at the front, and you get one sexy looking set of frames.
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A Quality Pair of Boots
Boots separate the men from the boys.
I’m sure you’ve heard that shoes are one of the first things a woman notices in a man, and it’s absolutely true.
Yes, sneakers have their place, but a quality pair of boots will give you an air of maturity and elevate a meh outfit to hell yeah.
My favorite type of boot is the Chelsea boot. They’re super versatile, and if you go for a dressier option, you can easily pair them with a suit. Speaking of which, William is rocking one of our favorite dress Chelsea boots above—the Troy from Ace Marks.
Suede Chelseas are also a TAM favorite due to the extra character you get from the suede texture, and the blake stitched Velascas offers a lot of bang for your buck:
Velasca Tobacco Suede Chelsea Boots
Blake stitched for a sleek profile, the tobacco color of these suede Chelseas pairs incredibly with denim and adds texture to your outfit. The best part? You can choose between a leather (more dressy) or dockers rubber sole (more versatile).
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For a dressier pick in leather, I really like the MYRQVIST Granhult:
MYRQVIST Granhult Dark Brown Calf Chelsea
I always figured a whole-cut leather goodyear welted Chelsea under $300 would never exist. That was until I found the Myrqvist Granhult. Handcrafted in Portugal, this sleek dressy Chelsea is finished with a studded rubber sole and offers a heck of a lot of value for its modest price point.
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And for a more casual option, the Thursday Boots Captain are an institutional menswear staple. They’re a good blend between rugged and dressy, so you can wear them with both jeans and chinos and pull the style off flawlessly.
Thursday Boot Company Captain
The Thursday Boots Captain is an excellent deal. The leather is similar to Horween’s Chromexcel, so it has a subtle shine and plenty of rugged durability. When (if?) these ever wear out, I’ll be picking them up again.
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Further Reading: 16 Types of Boots Every Guy Should Know About
Deodorant That Actually Works
Like your Dad always said in his creepier moments, fake isn’t always better than natural. And the same applies to deodorants as well.
Yes, switching to a natural deodorant is a process that causes your body to detox. You’ll smell a bit more for a few weeks while your body gets used to it.
But trust me, it’s worth it. After about three weeks, you’ll sweat less, smell better, and you won’t be spraying nasty chemicals on your body anymore. Win, win, win.
My go-to right now is Oars + Alps Natural Deodorant—it kills the stink, it doesn’t ruin my clothes, and it smells decent.
Oars + Alps Natural Deodorant
In my opinion, the best all-rounder for deodorants that don’t leave stains on white or black clothes is Oars + Alps. It smells great, lasts a long time, doesn’t clog your body with nasty chemicals, and it doesn’t ruin your clothes.
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A Manscaping Kit
Put yourself in a woman’s shoes.
With the option of taking the carefully maintained pathway, would you really want to dive headfirst into the forest?
I’m a big fan of Meridian’s range of products for your grooming and manscaping needs. Coming with both a trimmer and spray, their Complete Package in particular, offers great value for money:
Exclusive Discount Available
Meridian Complete Package
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Trim up those acorns and hit ’em with the spray so they don’t get razor-bumps. Give your balls a spa day, bro.
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Dress Shirts
Want to hear a secret?
When you walk around in your faded “Mr Men” t-shirt you are not telling the world, “I’m a quirky yet lovable guy with a great sense of humor”.
You are telling the world, “My Mom made my breakfast this morning”.
Start dressing like an adult and incorporate more dress shirts into your wardrobe. It seems obvious, but when choosing colors, select shirts that will match well with your selection of chinos and jeans.
I like State & Liberty right now for dress shirts. They’re premium (and yes, they have a premium price tag), but they’re easily the most comfortable dress shirt I’ve worn.
State & Liberty Checked Dress Shirt
The fit on State & Liberty’s dress shirt is excellent, even for guys who aren’t jacked. The two darts placed in the back tapers the waist significantly and creates a flattering silhouette. And the way the sleeves are cut help emphasize your shoulders. Yep, you’re looking good.
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They’re designed for athletes so they use performance fabric, they’re tapered for a flattering fit, and did I mention they’re insanely comfortable? To learn more about S&L, check out my full review.
A Quality, Sharp Chef’s Knife
Listen guys, a butter knife is for buttering your toast. For general all-purpose meal preparation, get yourself a Chef’s knife. At least 6 inches in length.
The best part? If treated with care and always used with a cutting board, you’ll only ever need one. As you continue to sharpen it and cook with it more and more, it’ll start to feel like an old companion.
Wusthof Classic 8-Inch Chef’s Knife
Made in the European style with German steel, Wusthof’s are known for keeping an edge and working through tough materials with ease.
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Training Shoes
Outside of playing ball, your Converse shoes are for impressing girls at a Taylor Swift concert. Not for getting a workout in.
Take the plunge and invest in some quality training shoes that fit you well. Your ankles and knees will thank you for it.
If you’re not going to be running marathon type distances, you can’t go wrong with these:
hylo Light Trainer
Hylo’s trainers are super light. And I mean literally—they weigh in at just 240g. Combining that with a breathable PLA upper and cushioned landing, they’ve quickly become our favorite “gettin’ around” trainer.
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A Signature Scent
Custom cologne from Hawthorne based on your work and leisure lifestyle.
There are a lot of benefits to rocking a signature scent. Sure, it’s fun to try different fragrances throughout the year, but every guy should strive to find a single fragrance that fits their personality and lifestyle. It’s not as easy as it sounds.
But you know you’ve done it right when she asks to borrow your old sweatshirt and never brings it back.
I own over 100 fragrances (including samples) and these are my top three highly versatile (all-season, day/night) signature scent choices for every budget:
All three of the above are absolute compliment magnets.
For a more customized option, check out Hawthorne. They’ll ask you some questions about your lifestyle and pair you with two custom fragrances just for you.
Hawthorne
(Get 10% off with code TAM10)
By asking the right questions, Hawthorne was able to deliver me custom colognes and bathroom essentials at a solid price point, and while I was hesitant to leave my choice of fragrance up to someone else, Hawthorne won my seal of approval on the first spray.
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A Pocket Knife
Pocket knives are for more than just cutting open Amazon boxes at record speed. They’re for more than busting out, just to hear your girl say, “please don’t hurt yourself.” They’re for more than slashing open Grandma’s Christmas present open like a boss.
A good pocket knife is a companion. Take it with you camping, store one in your car, or just clip it in your pocket for when you need it.
My favorite is the Civivi Elementum, crafted from D2 steel:
Civivi Elementum Pocket Folding Knife
Combine razor sharp D2 steel, a liner lock for safety, plus a range of stylish color options, and what do you get? You get the highly regarded Civivi Elementum pocket knife, of course.
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A Grooming Kit
Man has evolved beyond going to battle with other tribes with our long toenails as weapons. Invest in a grooming kit. At the very least, you should own a quality set of tweezers and nail clippers.
Here’s my go-to kit for all your manly needs:
MANSCAPED Shears 2.0
Women notice if you chew on your fingernails. Proper nail care is part of a top-notch manscaping routine.
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It’s good quality and has everything you need.
A Classy Pen
Story time:
I used to work for a guy who owned a few local businesses, and one day he took me around to a few of his meetings. He wasn’t all that great at negotiation, so he was one of those reverse-mentors. He was about to do a deal with the guy on the other end of the table when his counterpart busted out a hefty, high-quality pen.
How do I stop losing my pens?
I had this problem for years. Until I bought a nice pen, I couldn’t seem to keep track of any of my writing utensils. When you. drop $10 or more on a single pen, you tend to remember exactly where it is, day or night.
Sensing he was outmatched, my mentor suddenly threw in extra free product, just to prove he too was a man of largess. I’ve never seen anything like it.
And it was that day I realized that having a classy pen on you is always a smart idea.
Everyman Grafton Pen
I literally have an emotional attachment to this pen. It’s sturdy, writes smoothly, and its refills are inexpensive. Plus, it’s handsome looking and has the kind of heft that makes you feel like everything you write is incredibly important.
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A Hip Flask
Time to dispel a misconception—hip flasks aren’t just for drunkards.
Heading out for an afternoon in the park with friends? Going on a fishing trip with the boys? Taking a long train trip with a girl you’re dating? A hip flask is the perfect accessory when bringing a whole bottle of liquor would be inappropriate or overkill.
The amount of times I’ve been able to share the love and kick the vibe up a notch with my friends or a date has made owning one of these little guys oh so worth it.
I have the Stanley Classic Flask—it’s the perfect size and has served me well:
Stanley Classic 8oz Flask 8oz with Never-Lose Cap
When it comes to hip flasks, this is the one. It’s the perfect size and weight to be truly pocket friendly. It feels sturdy in the hand and is rugged and rust-proof. Oh, and most importantly—it has a wide mouth opening so your booze will actually go where you want it to go.
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A Pair of Joggers
Chill Sunday with the Vuori Sunday Performance Jogger
Life isn’t always so serious. Sometimes a man just needs to wear stretchy pants.
Whether you’re getting ready to jet off on an overnight flight, or your cruising to the local brewery for a Sunday afternoon pint to catch up with the buds, a high-quality pair of joggers helps you balance style and comfort.
My favorite type of joggers are the kind you can wear in the gym and out on the town. Usually the fabric is a bit thinner, and there’s more room in the thighs. A great example is the Vuori Sunday Performance Jogger, and if you ever catch me on an evening stroll, I’m probably rocking these.
Vuori Sunday Performance Jogger
If you’re looking for a performance-based pair of joggers, Vuori has you covered. This fabric is super lightweight and breathable, and the waist band and taper below the knee help keep them secure, even during your most intense HIIT circuit.
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A Tailored Suit
We’ve all spotted the guy wearing the suit that is so big it looks like it’s about to swallow him whole. You know the look. The puffy shoulders and not an inch of cuff in sight. You can almost hear the local missing person announcement as you watch him disappear deeper into the abyss of oversized fabric.
If you’re one of these guys, firstly, I’m glad that you made it out alive. Secondly, with the affordability of modern tailoring, this is something you can and should fix as a priority.
A tailored suit is the hallmark of your wardrobe. Yes, it is a small investment, but it is one that you will only have to make once (provided Bulking Season isn’t on the cards). The pay-off? A timeless look that will inspire self-confidence while offering a lot more comfort than your uncle’s former prom suit ever did.
As to colors? Build a tailored collection of navy, charcoal, and light grey suits. In that order. Once you have the staples down, you will undoubtedly be keen to expand to the blue suit / brown shoes combination.
Bluffworks created an unstructured suit and it’s our new favorite travel item. The relaxed blazer, paired with trousers loaded with hidden pockets and secure zippers make this suit an indispensable addition to our wardrobe.
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Drink-Appropriate Glassware
Ever been served a glass of wine at someone’s house in what could only be a described as an old Nutella jar?
How about a whiskey in a “World’s Best Dad” coffee mug?
I’m two for two and it’s a big reason why “drink-appropriate glassware” makes this list. Know which glass to use for each drink and more importantly, have them clean and on-hand in your kitchen.
For whiskey, you can’t go past this set from Glencairn as an affordable pick:
And if you want to bring on all the oohs and ahs the next time you host a party, Alchemy from Bespoke Post has everything you need to get your career as a mixologist started:
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If you want to get into mixology, the Bespoke Post Alchemy box has all you need to get started. The tools are all high quality stainless steel and get the job done, although if you already own a few of them, it’d be hard to justify getting a second set.
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A Set of Matching Luggage
Traveling with a backpack makes you look like a 5th grader. It’s time to step it up and invest in a set of matching luggage.
If you’re not ready to go all in, start with a carry on. Then get the big suitcase later. As your station builds in life, you’ll need bigger bags as your vacations will last longer and longer. That’s the kind of problem I like.
Floyd makes my favorite travel luggage set:
Floyd Cabin Travel Case
If you dig 1970s Venice Beach skateboarding culture, you’ll dig the retro-cool Floyd Cabin travel cases. Constructed from sturdy Makrolon® polycarbonate and with aluminium handles and laptop holder, these nonconformist beauties are built to survive even the wildest of trips.
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A Well-Fitting Pair of Dark Blue Jeans
For men’s fashion, there’s nothing more versatile than a quality pair of jeans.
Go formal with a tucked dress shirt, watch and dress shoes. Rock them with a plain white t-shirt and sneakers for a more casual weekend get-up. Or combine white socks with your two-sizes-too-big blue jeans for that classic “retired American tourist on vacation in Europe” look.
I’m kidding. Never do that.
An Indestructible Cooler
Do you want to be the guy who shows up at the party with a styrofoam gas station cooler, only to have it fall apart in your hands and spill the hot dogs on the floor?
Don’t ruin the party: add to it.
Whether it’s a small 20 qt cooler to bring on a day trip or something more substantial for a weekend away, a well-built, rotomolded cooler is the best way to go.
A Clothes Iron (or Steamer)
Want to be known as the type of man who doesn’t pay attention to the details? Grow yourself a unibrow that Anthony Davis would be proud of.
Alternatively, don’t iron your shirt.
But please. For the love of all things pure and sacred in this world. Don’t do both.
Last year, I upgraded from an iron and ironing board to a handheld steamer and it has easily been the biggest time-saver decision I’ve made for a while. The best part? It was super affordable:
A Coffee Maker that Doesn’t Use Pods
I don’t know about you, but I rank coffee up there with sex, great conversation, and Arrested Development as one of life’s great pleasures.
However, you don’t always have to buy coffee on the go.
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Fresh roast on demand? Count us in. With over 130 different coffees, including single origins and blends, Volcanica delivers full taste, big body, and top quality.
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Even if you don’t like coffee, consider having a way to make real coffee at home. It’s enjoyable to make, smells great and instantly elevates your score as a dinner host.
If espresso isn’t your bag, you can go more conventional, but still nab a coffee maker that looks like a design piece on your counter.
Chemex Pour-Over Coffee Maker
This pour-over coffee maker not only makes incredible coffee, but it looks fantastic sitting on your counter. Imagine this glass filled with delicious brew, served up on a wooden platter for breakfast in bed. Tell me you’re not imagining heaven…I dare you.
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A Wet Shaving Kit
Your first subscription box from The Personal Barber includes a free safety razor and shaving brush.
Wet shaving really is just about the manliest thing you can do. While that should be reason enough to make the switch, you’ll also experience a cleaner shave and healthier looking skin and it’s much cheaper than cartridge razors.
As a self-respecting man, shaving is going to be a big part of your life forever (yes even you, bearded bushranger). This one really is a no-brainer. What are your waiting for?
Do I shave up or down my face?
Always shave in a downward direction to avoid getting razor bumps and irritating your skin.
If you’re completely new to it and want to give it a try, I recently reviewed a subscription box that may be of interest to you called The Personal Barber (use code TAM15 for 15% off your first box).
They ship you everything you need to get started with traditional shaving, including a free safety razor, shaving brush, and even an instruction booklet. Everything is hand-selected and I estimated that you get about double the retail value as you spend on your first box. They’re UK based but they do ship to the US.
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The Personal Barber
(Use code ADULTMAN15 for 15% off your first box (note, only applies to rolling monthly subscription), or use code USAPOST50 for 50% off shipping to the US, which will apply for the life of your subscription)
With its high quality of curation and value for money, entry-level wet shavers will struggle to find a better priced launching point into the world of traditional shaving, while the variety of new products and ongoing convenience of new blades is sure to attract the attention of experienced shavers alike.
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If you’d prefer to make a one-off buy, I picked up this kit a few years ago and was pretty impressed with it:
Gentleman Jon Deluxe Wet Shave Kit
Gentleman Jon’s full wet-shave kit makes for an excellent gift (you can give a gift to yourself, too, you know). This has everything you need to get a luxurious shaving experience for several months.
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It’s high quality and includes everything you need to join the respected Wet Shaver’s Club (it may or may not be a real club).
A Shoe Cleaning Kit
When I see a guy with scuffed dress shoes I have a similar thought to when I see a man with a rat-tail haircut. I think, “that problem could be solved in 10 seconds.”
Shine your shoes and standout as a man that cares about the finer details.
KIWI Shoe Care Kit
This basic shoe care kit comes with a horsehair brush, dauber, polish and cream, and a few micro fiber towels. This is what you need to get started taking care of your leather shoes, boots, and bags.
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How do I polish my shoes?
Take off your laces and knock off the dirt and dust. Apply polish with a rag using circular motions. Buff with a horsehair brush. Wipe with a microfiber towel or shammy. Dampen the towel and buff again to spit shine.
A man with tools is a man with the desire and means to shape the world he lives in. Plus, when you want to hang that nice picture, do you really want to try and hammer a thumbtack with an empty wine bottle (definitely speaking from experience).
A basic set of tools with make your life vastly easier, and you can get a beginner set for relatively cheap. And when your girl says she need helps with something in her apartment and you bust this out, she may not say anything, but she’ll be thinking “who’s this hunk of a man?”
A Leather Jacket
One word. Attitude.
Check out Alpha M’s clip above for an excellent rundown on how to choose the perfect leather jacket for you. The Jacket Maker Dean is one of our favorite value for money picks:
The Jacket Maker Dean
This crispy moto-jacket comes in several varieties of leather. If you want bang for your buck, this is where you go.
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A Must-Read Coffee Table Book
Do you know what would look better than that empty Chinese food container on your coffee table? A stunning, full sized coffee table book that best captures your interests.
It looks great and your guests will thank you for providing them something to skim through when you spend 30 minutes in the bathroom due to drunkenly scoffing down those Chinese food leftovers two days too late.
High-Quality Sheets
The Egyptians aren’t just great at building pyramids…
If you think your sheets might suck, check out our list of the 5 Best Sheets for Men in 2020 which also includes some basic tips on how to choose the right sheet for you.
I’ve been sleeping on these sheets for several years now, and I still haven’t gotten over how soft they are. The Egyptian cotton is smooth and slides well against my skin. The material is cozy, but doesn’t cause me to overheat at night. If your budget allows, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed with the Valentino 1200 thread count set.
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Investments
Before you walk into a crowded room and start yelling “buy, buy, sell!” I mean more than just stocks. And I definitely mean more than crypto (even though your buddy just went to the moon on Doge and for some reason only talks in strange Reddit meme language now).
Part of winning at life is the constant improvement of your station in life. There are a lot of ways to start investing your money.
Is $1000 enough to start investing?
Absolutely. The key when you’re starting out is more about learning than it is making a ton of money. The more money you haven, the faster you can learn (and the more your mistakes hurt), but $1000, or even $100, is enough to get started.
What if you don’t have a lot of money?
The first thing you should do is invest in your own skills. One of the best things I ever did was take a $300 course on email outreach. That investment has paid off in previously unimaginable ways. Once you boost your skills and are making a bit more scratch, here are some other investment vehicles to explore:
Stocks and bonds
Real Estate
Starting a company
The idea is that even though you’re starting small, build incrementally, getting 1% better every month. In a decade or so that 1% will make a huge difference in your lifestyle and what you can provide for others.
Cufflinks
In today’s day and age, certain accessories feel like they’re going out of style.
But a classy lad will always have a few old school bits that separate him from the rest. A great pair of cufflinks may be small, but they’re mighty.
Maybe you don’t wear them to the office, but try busting them out at the next wedding you go to. It’s a subtle, but worthwhile flex.
A Piece of Art on the Wall
Look, sadly it’s time for the Scarface poster to come down. Yes, I know it’s totally awesome but does it really speak to your personality? Find a decor or style of art that does, and slowly introduce relevant pieces into your living space.
Better yet, have a piece “commissioned” on the cheap from an artistic friend. Whether it’s a painting, photograph, or a lifesize replica of your childhood dog, you will enjoy a completely original piece of artwork serving up fresh vibes daily in your home or apartment.
Car Survival Essentials
A man should be ready to deal with anything that life throws at him, which often requires having the right “things” on hand.
Stowing a few basics like a car jack, tire iron, jumper cables, and a basic first aid kit can be literal lifesavers more than you’d ever expect. And you can often find kits that put everything in one package so it doesn’t take up much room in your trunk.
Throw a few Cliff bars and water bottles in there, and you’re all set should anything happen while you’re on the road.
A Bottle of Scotch for Special Occasions
Want to be a little more alpha ala Don Draper of Mad Men? You should. Haven’t seen Mad Men? You really should.
There is something undeniably cool about a man who drinks scotch. Dripping with masculinity, it screams to the world that you know what you want out of life and more importantly, that you know how to get it.
Thinking Chair
A man has to set his own path. He must navigate an uncertain world.
How are you supposed to do that sitting on a tattered lawn chair you snuck from your last apartment complex. Call me old fashioned, but I think a quality leather chair is still the best place for a man to do his finest contemplating. It’s also the best place to drink that Scotch I mentioned above.
Jensen Leather Chair from Apt2B
The Jensen Leather chair is super comfortable, and has that kind of bounce to it that makes you want to kick back and sip a scotch on the rocks.
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Playing Cards
A deck of cards and a few fun games up your sleeve is a fantastic thing for any man to have. How else can you host poker night?
And keep a few great games up your sleeve (and maybe a few card tricks). What better way to seal the deal with that girl you’re dating than to really wow her stupid little nephew with a basic sleight of hand.
Any deck of cards will do, but I like to have a distinctive set on me. I’m a fidgety guy, so shuffling a deck of cards is helpful when I’m thinking through something. For that, I opt for something with thick cardstock that feels great to hold.
theory11 makes a ton of super interesting and high quality playing cards. Whether you want cyberpunk, Star Wars, or just good old fashioned cards, theory11 does it right.
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A Journal
Don’t bend, don’t water it down, don’t try to make it logical, don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly. – Franz Kafka
Keeping a journal can change your life. If you’re like me at all, you can get caught up in the day-to-day and easily forget what kind of progress you’ve made toward your goals.
I don’t start my journal entries with dear diary or anything like that—instead, my journal is filled with notes, recipes, to-do lists, grocery lists. Most importantly, I have my long term and short term goals written down.
Every so often, I’ll flip through old journals and I’m always shocked at how far I’ve come since I wrote the entry. That’s not to brag—I think you’d have the same experience.
And the entries only get more and more rich as time passes. I wonder what it’s going to be like when my kids read through what I had to say.
A Tent
There’s nothing more romantic than a camping getaway under the stars. Be a man that owns a tent. Don’t be a man that tries to cook in one.
Who doesn’t want to be the guy people call up when they’re excited to go on an adventure? Tents can be inexpensive and they barely take up any room, so there’s really no excuse not to have one.
Work Gloves
As a man, there’s no end to the amount of dirty, tough, and rugged jobs we have to do. She asked you to chop back the hedges for the 50th time, and I know you’re thinking, what the heck did the hedges ever do to me?
Well, there’s no point in dwelling. You just need to get in there and do the damn thing. But a good pair of work gloves will make the process much, much easier.
Wells Lamont Leather Work Gloves
These are my favorite work gloves because the natural cow-hide leather picks up a patina within weeks (if you’re actually working in them), and they end up looking incredible. Plus, they’re super inexpensive and keep your hand safe from the dings and knicks you’d normally get while working in the yard.
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A Towel Collection
Nothing says “thoughtful” like presenting your guest with a freshly washed spare bathroom towel.
Nothing says “sociopath” like suggesting your guest use the same towel you used to mop up Ziggy Stardust’s latest surprise on the couch.
If you need to upgrade, I’m loving the Valentino Luxe Egyptian Cotton Spa Towels from Luxor Linens (pictured above) which we recently reviewed.
I mean, they’re TAM monogrammed, why wouldn’t we love them? You can monogram your own with whatever you like. But feel free to TAM monogram yours as well. More importantly, they’re also made from 100% Oeka-Tex Certified Egyptian Cotton and are incredibly soft.
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A Grill
Every man’s home should have a grill. If you don’t know why, you haven’t tasted grilled ribs.
Also, a grill turns cooking from a boring old dinner into a full-blown party. A delightful, rib-filled party.
If you’re looking for ideas, I’m digging The Coleman. You can assemble it quick as a flash and it’s small enough that you can take it camping or anywhere else where it’s appropriate to sizzle delicious meat on the go.
Check it out here:
A Handkerchief
Handkerchief, pocket square, hankie, hanks: whatever you want to call them, you should have at least a few in your arsenal. Especially around wedding season.
It might seem cliche, because it is, but handing a fair lady a hanky when she cries at a wedding is one of the most manly things a guy can do. If you’ve never tried it, you’ll suddenly understand why Victorian English guys would wear tall boots and ride horses all day: they felt invincible.
Candles
Candles are awesome. If you’re the average guy who never thinks about candles, you should definitely be thinking about them more.
Do candles make your questionably odorous house smell better? Check.
Are good scents mentally healthy for you? Check.
Do good smelling things turn women on? Checkmate.
A Home Office
Remember that time 2020 happened? If that didn’t convince you to get a home office together, I’m not sure how effective I’ll be, but I’ll bring it up again.
The modern man should have a space to work and play that’s clean, comfortable and well lit.
A clean desk is a clean mind and a clean mind limits those Facebook binge-spiral sessions where you end up on your high-school gym teacher’s cousin’s page 4 hours after sitting down to start your project.
A Bicycle
See more of the outdoors…
Help the environment…
Get fitter while making that third round trip this week home after again staying at that girl’s place who but for those seven drinks should really have been a “swipe left”.
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Solé Bicycles
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Specializing in single speed/ fixed gear bikes, Solé dishes out affordable and attractive looking cruisers with a retro-spin on them. If you want to get from point A to B in style, Solé is the way to go.
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Noise Cancelling Earphones
Your ears have provided you with years of pleasurable audio experiences. All they’ve ever asked in return is that you keep them at a fair distance from knives scraping against a glass bottle. You feel it just reading it, don’t you?
Why then, do you insist on jamming those cheap and nasty ear-drum zappers inside of them? Trust me, once you opt for quality, you’ll never go back to ear-abuse.
A Gym Membership
Last but certainly not least, is a gym membership. No, I didn’t say gym selfie—why are you taking your shirt off…?
Your health and your body has an impact on every aspect of your life. From your happiness, to your confidence, to your quality of sleep, to your stress levels, to only hitting snooze four times in the morning as opposed to 10. Look after yourself and good things will follow.
At the very least, have some kind of exercise regime. Whether it’s running, playing social sport, or chasing your cat around the house.
How many of these things can you check off? All 54? Sweet, we’re partying at your house this weekend.
As a man who has dated his fair share of high maintenance girls, I can definitely bring an element of experience to this conversation.
The thing about women in the ‘high maintenance’ bracket is that they come with powerful pros and cons.
The biggest pro? They tend to be hot, fun, and fit. They spend enormous amounts of money and time on their appearance, and it absolutely shows.
The biggest con? They come with a lot of upkeep. And in the long term, they often prove too much for most men to handle.
But how will you know a high maintenance girl when you meet her?
You’re about to learn from someone who’s been in the trenches, my friend.
12 Surefire Signs She’s a High Maintenance Girl
She’s Self-Obsessed
The number-one indicator of a high maintenance girl is her inflated sense of self worth. She’s legitimately obsessed with herself, to the point where she struggles to understand or empathize with anyone else (except for her pets, of course).
And to a point, this is understandable.
She’s probably hot. She’s probably grown up being worshipped by men, and has come to believe that she’s god’s gift to mankind.
To her credit, she’s probably fine as fire. She’s used to getting everything she wants because men shamelessly pine after her. And there’s no-doubt that these experiences have created a firm basis for her self-obsession.
She Cares About What Other People Think
High maintenance girls put a tremendous amount of thought and energy into their appearance.
They’re makeup masters, wouldn’t be caught dead without their nails done, and can always be trusted to wear the perfect outfit for every occasion.
They care a great deal about what other people think of them—even though this costs them a great deal of time and money.
They desire to be envied and worshipped—and to their credit, they usually succeed in this.
And because of this, they’re rarely found dating men they don’t see as ‘replaceable.’
Boyfriends/husbands usually serve as bank accounts and chauffeurs.
High maintenance girls feel that they’re ‘settling’ for the men they date.
These men, gifted with her divine presence in their lives, should be content to serve her and make her happy.
She Treats You Like An Errand Boy
High maintenance girls are used to a certain standard of living. They see themselves as being above wasting their time on things that other people could be doing for them.
They’ll gladly dish out a to-do list for their partner.
Take her clothes to the dry-cleaner
Get her a latte from her favorite coffee shop
Pick up food for her dog
Pay her bills for her
Grab her favorite salad from the local deli
Loan her your credit card for those new heels, that new dress, or that new makeup she ‘needs’
These are examples of the types of tasks she may expect him to perform.
If he resists, he’ll likely face a whining/crying speech about how she isn’t being appreciated enough, how ‘she needs to do everything around here or it never gets done,’ and how ‘all she wants is for him to understand. Is that really too much to ask?’
She Doesn’t Care About Your Timeline
A high maintenance girl will be totally obsessed with the things she wants to do, and her timeline will be the only timeline that matters to her.
She doesn’t care what time you told your parents you would arrive. If it takes her an extra 45 minutes to do her makeup, you’re just going to have to show up 45 minutes late.
This type of woman has a very difficult time empathizing with your desire to be on time. She sees herself as the star of the show, and expects the show to move at her pace.
She Doesn’t Have Many Good Female Friends
“I do believe that female friends can be worse to each other than male friends, simply because, for whatever reason, women have a stronger emotional language.”
– Anne Hathaway
One interesting thing to note about high maintenance girls is that they won’t have many close female friends.
I once dated a girl who was so combatant and competitive toward other women that she literally couldn’t keep more than one or two close female friends at a time—and even then, those friends could only handle her in very short, controlled doses.
She ended up having more guys as friends. And even those guys were actually just ‘orbiters’ who secretly wanted to bang.
High maintenance girls are nearly impossible to please.
The only way to keep her happy is for everything to go the way she wants it to go.
The word ‘entitled’ will fit her like a glove, and for good reason.
She grew up as the center of attention. She’s accustomed to other girls wanting to be like her, and men fawning over her—so she’s used to getting what she wants.
If you violate this, she’ll feel deeply slighted. She’ll undoubtedly decipher it as an attack, and will be legitimately ‘hurt’ by it.
She’s Needy
A lot of people associate high maintenance girls with cosmetic items and impulse spending.
And this stereotype is mostly true.
But what many people don’t understand about high maintenance girls is that they also have a needy emotional side as well.
They’ll crave and desire your unending attention—until they don’t want it, at which point they’ll expect for you to give them distance.
Their moods may switch at the drop of a hat. They’ll want you to leave when they get annoyed with you. But then, they’ll text you 15 minutes later asking you to come back, telling you they miss you, etc.
She’ll want cuddles, hugs, hand-holding, compliments, reassurance—the whole nine yards.
She’s Controlling
This is the aspect of the high maintenance girl that most men have the most trouble dealing with.
This type of woman will want everything a certain way, and will literally command you to make it so—even to the point of trying to keep you from hanging out with your usual friend group if she feels threatened by it.
I’ve seen these types of women order their husbands around like servants, and throw passive aggressive fits if they didn’t get their way.
You’ll pay a price for all of that beauty, men.
She’s Not A Deep Thinker
This guy at mcdonalds literally just told me “It’s so cool. It’s like you’re so dumb that you’re so smart” thanks? #ditzy
High maintenance girls are much more obsessed with outward appearances than they are with any sort of deep thinking or intellectualism.
The reason for this is actually pretty simple.
Self awareness isn’t seen as important when you’re constantly operating with a sense of entitlement.
Since high maintenance girls are basically completely self-obsessed, they see little reason to venture out and consider other things.
They may dabble in spirituality or philosophy, but only to the extent that it satisfies short term whims of curiosity.
She Never Offers To Split Or Cover The Bill
This type of woman sees herself as the best that you will ever have.
And she expects for you to pay for it.
Because she’s so beautiful, sexy, classy, and all-around wonderful, it only stands to reason in her mind that you would cover the bill.
In her way of thinking, this is a small price to pay for the privilege of getting to be seen and associated with her.
She Makes Everything About Her
High maintenance girls truly see themselves as the center of the universe—in every single way.
Every disagreement will become about how her feelings are hurt. Every difference of opinion will be about how you aren’t taking her feelings into account. Every time you say ‘no’ to her, you’ll have to hear about how you aren’t treating her well, etc.
It’s truly all about her.
Trying to get her to empathize with you or see the world through your eyes will feel like banging your head against a brick wall.
Impossible, painful, and a general waste of your time.
Should You Date a High Maintenance Girl?
This post might make it sound like I think badly of high maintenance girls.
But that’s not so.
I’ve dated some extraordinary high maintenance women, and there are a number of pros to the experience.
The sex is incredible
She looks stunning at all hours of the day
You’ll be the envy of your friends and everyone else—because she’s probably the hottest girl that any of you have ever dated
Yes, she’s expensive—but buying her things turns you on and makes you happy
When she’s happy, her smile is beautiful and contagious
People love her as long as they don’t know her too well. She tends to impress people on a superficial level. Your grandparents will urge you to wife her up. Your sister, on the other hand, will despise her
But then, the problems will start.
If you’re a high-value man who knows how to handle a strong-willed woman, you can make it last. But your days will be filled with micro-conflicts.
If you grow lax on your boundaries, she’ll work her way into your psyche. She’ll stop at nothing to get what she wants. She’ll try to twist arguments to suit her agenda, and her bulletproof self-obsession will eventually leave you exhausted, frustrated, and confused.
This type of woman is relentless. That’s partly what makes her so attractive—but it’s also, ironically, the biggest deal breaker.
After you break up, you’ll miss her.
You’ll miss watching her put on hundreds of dollars worth of makeup. You’ll miss watching her step out of the shower—her perfect body and porn-star sexual energy making evenings together the stuff of legends.
Every night, you’ll be having the kind of sex that most men can only dream about.
You’ll miss how excited she used to get over new hair extensions and heels. And you’ll miss how everyone within eyesight looked at you pea-green with envy as you commanded the attention and affection of the hottest woman in the room—the caliber of woman they’re only able to glimpse in adult movies and rom-coms.
Some men can make it work long term with a woman like this.
Many can’t.
But is the experience worth it in the end?
(Takes long, stressed-out drag from cigarette and pounds a shot of whiskey.)
Hell yeah.
Conclusion
Hopefully this post has helped to shed some light on exactly what a high maintenance girl is.
For more tips, tricks, and advice for men, follow us on YouTube.
Go with grace, gentlemen. And never give up your power.
You’ve probably heard that communicationis important in a relationship.
Pretty much all psychologists and relationship experts cite poor communication as the most common factor leading to break-ups.
And it’s the sort of thing you’ll read about and see on TV a thousand times in your life.
But it’s well worth remembering. The very second you and your girl stop communicating, your relationship can go sour.
Seriously.
Just cast your mind back to your last relationship…
See what we mean? You need to get talking to your other half.
And we don’t just mean answering her questions with a grunt, fellas. You need to get into proactive communication—it really helps to strengthen a relationship and create a stronger bond.
So, how do you achieve this?
Well, here’s one way. You ask questions!
Why Should You Ask Your Girlfriend Questions?
Asking your girlfriend a question is an awesome way to go about starting a positive conversation with her.
Make the queries open-ended, listen to her replies and reply thoughtfully, and you’ll learn more about her, make her laugh, and make her think. Often just with one easy sentence.
Communication is a two-way street, though. Active listening and contributing to the conversation are as important as asking questions of your partner. Fight the stereotype of men not being great listeners and give your ears a workout too.
Comment on her answers and offer your own experiences. Add a little humor. Women are attracted to men who make them laugh. In fact, there’s science behind it.
We’ve decided to help you out here. We’ve compiled a list of 216 of the best questions to ask your girlfriend.
And we’ve split the list into categories to make it even clearer. Each category focuses on a specific situation.
Interesting Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Even if (actually, especially if) you’ve been together since Nixon was President, chit-chat with your girl will dry up from time to time.
Try getting her to talk to you about something she’s interested in. Engage her mind, offer her a head-scratching quizzer and the discussion will fly. Trust us.
What’s a story you’ve always wanted to tell, but never got a chance to?
What’s one thing your friends think is fun that you don’t?
Do you find you pronounce any words differently than other people?
What’s a song you like from a genre or band you don’t like?
Is there something you could cut out of your life with little effort that would save you tons of money?
What’s something you like to do that’s underrated?
Has anything weird happened to you lately?
Are you known for anything special in your hometown/friend group?
What did you not realize about yourself until somebody else told you about it?
What’s your go-to party story? (if you don’t already know it)
If you could win a lifetime supply of anything, what would it be?
What’s your go-to joke lately?
What’s your favorite hobby?
What’s an urban legend about where you’re from?
What do you have a strong opinion on that is unimportant in the grand scheme of things?
If actors could summon an army of all the characters they’ve played, who would win in a war of actors?
Have you ever gotten petty revenge on somebody? What did you do?
What’s your favorite “make a rule” in drinking games?
What trend do you think will never go out of style?
What’s your pet peeve?
Would you rather be the damsel in distress or the hero to save the day?
If you found $10,000 on the ground tomorrow, what would you do with it?
What dating advice would you give to somebody about to enter their first relationship?
Has a book made you cry? What was it?
How do you want people to remember you?
Are you happy?
What’s the best way for you to learn new things?
Could you be in a long distance relationship?
If you had one wish, what would it be?
What’s your passion?
There will always be something new to learn about her. Learning about your girlfriend is especially important in new relationships. The above questions keep the conversation going, interest her, and helps you learn more about what makes her tick.
Watch this video for more ideas for things to talk about with your girlfriend:
Make it More Fun With a Couple Card Game
A super fun way to learn new things about your girlfriend is to use a couple card game.
This way, rather than one of you firing off all the questions like it’s a bad blind date, you can make more of a game of it and take turns.
This Intimacy Deck from BestSelf is the best we’ve tried:
If you’re looking for new ways to connect with your girlfriend on a personal level or get out of your conversational routine, you’ll have a lot of fun with this.
And because you learn so many new things about each other you’ll develop a whole new level of intimacy.
We like that each conversation starter is thoughtful and not redundant. And they’re designed carefully to not be argument starters.
Turn off Netflix for a night and give it a go. You’re going to be surprised by how much fun it is.
Random questions are great for when you’re curious about learning something new and completely unexpected about your girlfriend.
What’s your favorite book or movie?
Would you rather swim with sharks or jellyfish?
Have you ever gotten detention in school?
What’s your favorite animal and why?
If a genie granted us three wishes, what would they be?
Have you ever cried in public before?
Have you ever gone skiing or snowboarding?
Have you ever done a backflip or frontflip?
Have you ever driven a car off the road?
Have you ever been in a fight?
Fun Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Making your girlfriend laugh will make you more attractive to her.
It’s all well and good asking deep and meaningful questions that make her think and give you an insight into her brain.
But it’s all for nothing if you come across too serious. Lighten the tone and get some humor going.
If we started a band together, what would you want us to be called?
What world record do you think you could set?
If you wrote erotic novels, what would your pseudonym be?
Do you have a phone voice or a puppy/baby voice?
What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed in your pajamas in the day?
If you had a warning label, what would it say?
What’s the first thing you do when you have the house all to yourself?
If you could cause one minor inconvenience to the person you hate the most, what would it be?
What is the weirdest fact you know?
What’s your favorite curse word?
Funny/Silly Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
A step up in humor from our fun questions list.
Use these questions to make her laugh and start a fun conversation that’s full of smiles.
If you had your own butler, what would you make him do?
How long do you think you could stare into my eyes without laughing?
Which animal would be the most useless pet in your opinion?
When you wake up in the morning, what’s your first thought?
If you had to wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What’s the most borderline offensive word you’ve used in a public conversation?
What two things should NEVER go together?
Do you have any childhood stories that embarrass you now?
Do you have any weird friends?
What body part do you think best defines your personality?
Weird Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Weird questions are as goofy as you can get.
Use them as fun, off-the-wall questions for a good laugh or to quickly change up the mood to a lighter tone.
What is the longest distance you’ve traveled by car without sleeping?
If you had your own butler, what would you make him do?
What’s the strangest dream you’ve ever had?
Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 50 emperor penguins?
If you could live underwater, would you? Why?
How would you manage a condition where you unintentionally swore in every sentence you spoke?
If you had an ice cream flavor for a name, what would it be?
How would you react if a stranger whispered in your ear?
Will robots take over our jobs in the future?
Why do you think it’s illegal to sleep naked in Minnesota?
If these aren’t enough for you, here are some more questions that might put a smile on her face.
TAM’s Top 3 Fragrances That Will Drive Your Girlfriend Crazy
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Cute Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
If you’re looking for ways to make your girlfriend feel special, why not try asking her some cute questions?
By showing a genuine interest in her life, her feelings, and what makes her happy, you’ll communicate to her that she’s important to you.
Here are a few examples of questions that will make her smile.
What’s your favorite memory of us together?
Have we ever had a heart-to-heart talk before?
How was today for you work-wise?
What was your favorite part about today?
Why did you choose this color to paint your nails?
What’s your favorite season and why?
What’s your favorite perfume?
Why did you choose to wear your hair this way?
Do you collect anything? If so, why?
What’s your happiest memory?
Personal Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
This is undoubtedly the most important section of this list.
The internet has thousands of guides to show your girlfriend you’re interested in her, but bringing her breakfast in bed doesn’t truly show you care on a deep emotional level, does it? It just shows you can make toast.
Asking her questions specifically focused on her emotions shows that you truly love her. Make her feel loved by giving these a go:
What was the best part of your week?
What was your first thought this morning?
How can I make your day better?
Is there anything you’ve wanted to do for a while, but need help with?
How have you been feeling lately?
Is there something coming up that you’re nervous for?
What’s stressed you out lately?
Is there anything that would help you relax?
How are your family/friends?
Have you done anything for yourself lately?
Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend About Yourself
These questions will help you understand your relationship with your girlfriend from her perspective.
Some may be hard to ask, but the personal growth you’ll get from asking these will outweigh any blow to your ego.
These questions will help you improve as a man and you’ll get to learn how your girlfriend sees you (and her favorite things about you!)
What’s your favorite cologne that I wear?
What do you like most about my personality?
Do you feel safe when you’re with me?
What do you think is my best quality?
What would you say is my biggest weakness?
What’s your favorite thing that I do?
Is there anything about my personality that bothers you?
How would you describe me in three words or less?
Do you think I’m funny, serious, or somewhere in between?
Am I someone you feel like you can depend on for emotional support?
Romantic Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Without romance, do you even have a girlfriend? Romance is a vital part of every healthy relationship and it’s often overlooked by men. So use these questions to spark up some love and romance in your relationship with her.
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You can answer the questions about you with responses about her for added tension and to deepen your bond. P.S. blatantly sexual questions aren’t appropriate to talk about when others can hear (unless she’s into that).
What’s something that often reminds you of me?
What’s the most attractive thing about me?
Which one of our dates did you have the best time?
What’s your favorite body part to get compliments on?
When did you first fall for me?
What are some things that turn you on when you think about them?
Is there anything you’d really like to do together this year?
Your [anything about her] looks amazing today—what did you do?
What’s your favorite part about a date?
Have you ever fantasized about something you want to do together?
If you find yourself struggling with romance in your personal relationships, I must mention Zan Perrion’s book, The Alabaster Girl. It will change your perspective on how you view women forever—and you’ll learn from a master of his craft.
The Alabaster Girl | Zan Perrion
The Alabaster Girl is a one-of-a-kind book written by the internationally known relationships and seduction legend, Zan Perrion. Spending nearly 30 years in a state of rejection by women, Zan persisted through his failures until he honed his abilities to engage women with absolute confidence and authenticity. The Alabaster Girl is his story and philosophy on the wonders of women.
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This book permanently changed me for the better—if I could only suggest one book a man should read to strengthen his love and passion for women, it’s this one.
Flirty Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Flirty questions are similar to romantic questions because of the underlying sexual intent—but they come off as more fun, lighthearted, and playful than romantic questions. Use them for some tongue-in-cheek fun.
Just remember to only ask sexual questions when nobody else can hear—they may make her feel uncomfortable when others are around. Confidentiality is key to her enjoying the fun, sexual side of flirting with you.
What kind of underwear are you wearing right now?
Are you trying to turn me on with that outfit?
Are you ready for tonight? (Suggestive of an activity)
Are you hitting on me? (Insist she is)
Are you going to behave yourself today?
What do you think should be your reward for behaving so well today?
If we weren’t in public, what would you do to me right now?
I think you need a punishment for [something she did], but what?
Does this outfit make me look hot right now?
What are you thinking about right now?
Questions to Learn About Her Past
Don’t be nosey or push topics you know are off-limits. But also, don’t be afraid to tackle big subjects.
Asking about your girl’s past can evoke nostalgia in her and make her happy. It can also have the opposite effect, though. So pay attention and steer the conversation away if you sense that you’ve touched on something she’s not ready to talk about.
Understanding your girlfriend’s past can be an important factor in creating a strong relationship.
What skill did you master when you were younger that you’ve forgotten since?
What was your nickname as a kid?
What’s your greatest accomplishment?
What’s the most difficult thing you’ve had to go through?
Have you ever been in a relationship when you weren’t in love?
Where did you grow up? Where’s the best place you’ve lived?
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Who was your crush as a kid?
What were you like in high school? In what way have you changed the most?
What was your favorite kid’s TV show?
Intimate Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
This is intimacy: the trading of stories in the dark.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
I can’t understate the importance of intimacy in a relationship.
While the physical side of intimacy often gets the most attention (and we all know why), emotional intimacy is truly the bedrock of any strong relationship.
Intimate questions are an excellent way for you to build a strong emotional connection with your girlfriend. Here are a few of our favorites:
What was your first thought when we met?
When did you realize that we’d make it as a couple?
What do you find most attractive about me?
What are the three things you’re most thankful for in life?
What’s been your favorite adventure of ours together?
What do you like most about us?
Do you have any unfulfilled fantasies?
Is there anything you want to say to me but you’ve felt you couldn’t?
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve gotten this year?
Relationship Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Asking questions about the state of your relationship can keep problems from building up and turning into a larger issue (at least that’s the theory, anyway). If you talk about it before the problem builds, you can address it while it is still a minor issue.
Give your girlfriend an opportunity to share her emotions with you, be they positive or negative, and you will build a much stronger and more open relationship.
Here’s what we mean:
1. Is there something you feel our relationship is missing?
2. What was your first impression of me?
3. If you had to change one thing in our relationship what would it be?
4. Are you happy with me?
5. What is yourfavorite memory of our relationship?
6. Do you feel cared for and loved in our relationship?
7. Was there a moment when you knew you were in love?
8. Is there anything we could do together to strengthen our relationship?
9. What is the strongest part of our relationship?
10. Do you feel loved enough?
Love Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Love questions are deep and profound questions that help lay the groundwork for a long-term relationship with her. They have to come up in a relationship at some point—usually when you’ve both decided to get serious.
But, use these questions very carefully if you’ve never discussed love with her before. If you randomly blurt out that you love a girl when you’ve never discussed it, you might freak her out and your relationship could fold quickly.
Have you ever been in love?
What does love mean to you?
What does the idea of love make you think about?
Do you think there’s a difference between sex and love?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Has a guy ever told you they loved you?
How do you know when you’re in love?
How important is love in a relationship to you?
Why do you love me? (Only ask if she’s said it)
Have I ever told you that I love you? (Be careful!)
Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend to Get Closer
If you’re looking to deepen the bond between you and your girlfriend, ask questions like these. They’ll help you connect and they’ll dissolve any resentment that may have formed between the two of you.
A quick tip: some girls like to open up and talk things out but some like to be alone when they’re upset. If you see that something is bothering her that’s unrelated to you and she says “nothing” (always a classic), push a little harder and see if she gives in to a chat. Most women will give in.
But if she says something like “I don’t want to talk right now, I just want to be alone”, don’t take it personally. Just assure her that you’re there for her if she feels like talking about it—then give her some space to work it out.
What are some of the most important things in your life right now?
Are you struggling with anything lately?
Is there anything bothering you that you want to talk about?
C’mon, what’s really bothering you? (If she says “nothing”)
Did I do anything recently that hurt your feelings?
You seem stressed. Is there something you need to talk about?
If something was wrong between us, would you tell me?
How was your day at work today?
Have you been happy with life lately?
How have you been feeling lately?
“What If” Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
What if questions are a fun way to get her imagination working. Here are five of our favorites:
What if you could relive one day in your life? Which would it be and why?
What if we only had one day left together? What would you want us to do?
What if you had the power to read my mind? Would you use it for good or evil?
What if you were offered $10 million dollars to break up with me? Would you take it? If not, is there an amount you would take?
What if we were stranded on a desert island together? How do you think we’d fare?
Important Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Use these questions to establish a sense of direction for your relationship.
It’s important both of you are on the same page, and if you’re not, that you’re at least prepared to talk things out.
These questions can help set goals for your relationship and help you understand what her most important goals are.
How do you see yourself in five years? What’s your job? Where do we live?
What’s something we should do together that we haven’t done before?
How important is having kids to you?
What are the top three things on your bucket list?
Do you have any experiences that have shaped how you view the future?
What is your ultimate goal?
Have you made any decisions that will shape the rest of your life?
Where do you want to retire?
What do you want in our relationship?
What most concerns you about the future?
Deep Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Another way to add depth to your relationship is to talk about deeper subjects. Existential questions are a great way to do this. These can make for heavy conversation, though, so you might want to ready yourself for it.
What’s the biggest problem in the world? How could we fix it?
Do you have any regrets in life?
If you could see into the future one time, what would you want to see?
What’s your deepest secret?
Who comforts you the most?
How do you want people to remember you?
Do you believe in extraterrestrial life?
Do you think long distance can work? How far is too far?
What would you give up to pursue your dreams?
If you could change one thing in history, what would it be?
Serious Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Serious questions are as significant as you could get with your girlfriend.
These aren’t questions to be taken lightly due to their sensitive nature. You have to be careful when you ask these because you could upset her by triggering a traumatic memory from her past.
On the positive side, if she’s open to discussing these topics with you, you’ll bond on a level that most people never get to in their lifetime.
Have you ever felt the need to harm yourself?
What memory has left the biggest impact on who you are?
Would you sacrifice your life for someone?
Has anything traumatic ever happened to you?
Have you ever had an addiction?
Have you ever had a near death encounter?
Have you ever used hard drugs?
What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
How would you feel if something happened to me?
Have you ever been cheated on?
What are Good Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend Over Text?
Texting is a lot different than an in-person conversation. An important thing to remember when talking to any girl over text is that she won’t be able to hear your conversational tone.
This means that if you say something jokingly or something serious, it could be misinterpreted by her because your tone of voice isn’t detectable through your phone.
One tip for texting a girl is to use emojis to soften the tone of your words. If you add a wink face or a smiley face to a text, you can communicate playfulness and an overall positive tone.
So keep chats lighthearted over text and save the deep chats and questions for when you’re in person together.
If you need to have a serious talk, let her know and wait until you can see each other in person so you can properly work out the problem.
Some great text questions for light banter and chatting include:
How was your day?
What did you do today?
What are you up to?
What was your favorite part about today?
Did anything interesting happen at work today?
What are you wearing?
Are you excited to see me later?
Are you excited about tomorrow’s date?
Do not ask heavy, serious questions like these unless you’re in person with her:
Do you like spending time together?
How do you think our relationship is going so far?
What are your biggest fears and insecurities?
Have you ever been cheated on before?
Can we have a serious talk right now?
Conclusion
Strong relationships are built on a deep connection and understanding of each other’s goals and needs. The best way of gaining that understanding is through communication.
And some of your most comfortable and worthwhile chats can stem from a well-timed question. Try to avoid questions from this list, though.
So with all the questions set out here, you have plenty of ammunition now. Whether it’s to save, stabilize, or continue your relationship—it takes work.
Good luck. Be positive. Ask questions!
FAQs
How do you know what questions to ask your girlfriend?
Relationship experts recommend that couples ask and talk about everything from their day-to-day lives to their hopes and dreams for the future.
One of the most important things is, to be honest, and open with your partner and to make time for regular conversations.
It will help you build a strong foundation for your relationship and ensure that you’re always on the same page. It’s essential for building a strong, lasting relationship.
Some good topics to get you started can include:
– Childhood memories
– Recent dates you’ve been on together
– Thoughts on current events
– Favorite new books or movies
By communicating openly and honestly with each other, you’ll help strengthen the bond between the both of you.
What should I talk about with my girlfriend?
The two of you should feel comfortable discussing any topic, no matter how personal or taboo. You should talk to your girlfriend about anything and everything that’s on your mind.
She’s there to listen, support, and comfort you and vice-versa.
A strong and healthy relationship is based on communication and mutual trust. So don’t be afraid to open up to her and share your innermost thoughts and feelings.
If you’re not sure what to talk about, then try discussing some of the following topics:
– Your goals and aspirations
– Your favorite memories together
– Things that make you laugh
– Things you like or want to change about your relationship
Be sure to listen attentively to what she has to say as well and show interest in her passions and pursuits. By creating an open dialogue, you’ll create a foundation of trust that will strengthen your relationship for years to come.
Grammy-nominated rapper Nipsey Hussle was shot 11 times in the head and body during a fatal attack at his clothing store in March 2019—just a day before he was scheduled to meet with L.A. cops in a bid to stop gang violence.
The 33-year-old’s official autopsy report, released by the Los Angeles County Coroner’s Office and viewed by The Daily Beast, revealed multiple gunshot injuries sustained by the rapper—who was born Ermias Asghedom—including a gunshot wound to the head, chest, back, abdomen, left and right thighs, big toe, and right elbow.
The report, which was undertaken a day after his death, indicates he was in good health when he died and notes each specific gunshot wound in detail, including entry point and the size and location. The doctor performing the autopsy concludes Ashgedom died as a result of the gunshot wound to the head and torso and notes that his death would have been “rapid.”
A toxicology report taken from the rapper’s bloodstream revealed Ashgedom was under the influence of marijuana, codeine, and promethazine at the time of his death. Both codeine and promethazine are common ingredients found in what is known as “sizzurp,” “purple drank,” or “lean,” a recreational drug beverage prepared by mixing prescription strength cough or cold syrup with soft drink. Hydrocodone and hydromorphone, opioids used to treat pain, were also present in the system.
Nipsey Hussle’s Alleged Killer Had No Talent or Fame. But He Had a Gun
Eric Holder was convicted of Ashgedom’s first-degree murder in July and is awaiting sentencing with the potential for life in prison. The autopsy report notes Ashgedom was in the parking lot of the clothing store with the others when “another man walked up and fired multiple gunshots, striking them all.” The other two victims’ injuries were non-life threatening. Cops found seven .40 calibre casings at the scene.
When paramedics arrived, the rapper was unresponsive and in “full traumatic arrest,” the report says. Despite repeated attempts to resuscitate him during transportation to hospital and at the trauma center, Ashgedom was declared deceased in the emergency room of a California hospital at 3:55 p.m.
The autopsy report ruled his death as a homicide.
Nipsey Hussle Knew His Killer, Had a Personal Dispute With the Gang Member, Police Say
Deputy District Attorney John McKinney described Holder’s actions as “cold-blooded” and “calculated” during the conviction hearing, adding that he had “quite a bit of time for premeditation and deliberation.”
At the time of the shooting, Los Angeles Police Commissioner Steve Soboroff said he and the police chief were set to meet with Hussle and Jay-Z’s Roc Nation “to talk about ways he could help stop gang violence and help us help kids.”
Adam Sandler has been having some mobility issues.
The Happy Gilmore star, 56, has been photographed using a cane to get around the last few weeks. A spokesperson for the star confirms to Yahoo Entertainment that he’s on the mend after hip surgery. The procedure took place earlier this month around Labor Day.
TMZ has photos of him shopping with his wife, Jackie Titone, in Los Angeles, with the cane over the weekend. He was spotted using one on Sept. 5 as well.
The comedic actor’s injury wasn’t a sudden one, the outlet reported. He scheduled the procedure between projects and is expected to be ready to go for his 15-day comedy tour, which kicks off on Oct. 21.
Adam Sandler using a cane while out and about in Los Angeles on Sept. 5. (Photo: BACKGRID)
Sandler had a different injury in June — and it made headlines. While promoting Hustle on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, he had a bruise and scab under his eye and talked about the “pathetic” way in which he hurt himself: He was in a hotel bed with the sheets tucked too tightly and when he kicked his feet to loosen them, the iPhone on his lap flew in the air and hit him in the face. It was 4am, so he didn’t get up, but in the morning he realized he was “bleeding terribly … It was bleeding all over it was gushing still and there was blood on the bed.” Perfect timing for a slew of TV interviews.
At the premiere of Hustle just days earlier, he revealed he had a long-lasting groin injury from making the basketball-themed film in 2020. Sandler, a hoops enthusiast in his free time, tried to keep up with the pro-ballers as they practiced for the film. It didn’t go well.
“I popped my groin,” he said. “There was one night my groin couldn’t take it anymore… It’s been a year already and I’m still limping around like a fool… It’s horrible.”
May the rest of 2022 be injury-free.
Adam Sandler explains the ‘pathetic’ reason he has a black eye on ‘The Tonight Show’
Adam Sandler swung by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Monday, to promote his new film, Hustle. But before that, he had to explain how an iPhone on his lap and a tightly tucked-in bed sheet left him bloody. “I had an accident, everybody,” Sandler said.
“Everything’s all right, but I wish it was a good story it’s pathetic.” He explained how he got into bed and the sheets were tucked-in too tightly.
When he tried to kick them loose with his feet, he forgot his iPhone was on his lap. The phone went flying in the air and ended up splitting the skin just beneath his eye.
Sandler is no stranger to taking a beating in his movies, so he just acted like everything was fine and went to sleep.
“I was bleeding terribly,” Sandler explained. “I mean, I thought it was pitch black in the room, and I feel wetness and I tricked myself.
I go, ‘This is probably just thick tears’… I didn’t want to get up, you know, because I was tired. And I was like, ‘Ah, we’ll fix that later.’ When he woke up in the morning, there was so much blood everywhere that he knew he needed assistance.
“I said, ‘I’ve got to get this fixed,’” Sandler recalled. “So I went to the Apple store.”
In honor of The Big Bang Theory‘s 15th anniversary, TVLine this week is revisiting network television’s longest-running sitcom — beginning with the 20 best episodes.
Trust us when we say that compiling the following list was no easy task. There were, after all, a whopping 279 (!) installments from which to choose. That means that the following picks represent less than eight percent of all episodes aired — so be prepared to see some of your favorites excluded.
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We should also note that the following episodes are not ranked; the half-hours we chose are listed in original airdate order — and all are available to stream on HBO Max.
SIGN UP FOR HBO MAX to watch House of the Dragon, Hacks, Barry, Peacemaker and more
As you’ll see, the following list strays from any one type of episode. What you’ll find is an eclectic bunch focused on different fan-favorite pairings, including Leonard and Penny, Sheldon and Amy, and Penny and Sheldon. There’s also a wedding, a trip to the emergency room, a Nobel Prize acceptance speech and an unforgettable holiday gift exchange.
Keep scrolling to see which episodes made the cut, then hit the comments and tell us if you agree (or disagree) with our choices.
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James Bond franchise brass Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson have responded to the actor’s recent statement that he doesn’t see himself portraying the iconic character. The Luther star has long been rumored as a possible candidate to replace Daniel Craig in the role of the super-spy, but in a recent interview he seemed to make it pretty clear he was unlikely to take it on.
“When I look in the mirror, I don’t see James Bond,” Elba told The Wall Street Journal.
Gregg DeGuire/WireImage Idris Elba
However, now Broccoli and Wilson have explained why they understand Elba’s reasoning, given their desire to find an actor who can play Bond in multiple films and the fact that the actor is only four years younger than Craig.
“The thing is, it’s going to be a couple of years off,” Broccoli said in a new interview with Variety. “And when we cast Bond, it’s a 10-, 12-year commitment. So he’s probably thinking, ‘Do I really want that thing?’ Not everybody wants to do that. It was hard enough getting [Daniel Craig to do it].”
Added Wilson, “And he was in his early 30s at the time!” (Craig was actually 37 when the producers officially announced he had the role.)
Broccoli went on to say that the pool of potential Bonds is limited by actors’ reluctance to commit to the part for the long haul. “A lot of people think, ‘Oh yeah, it’d be fun to do one,’” the producer said. “Well. That ain’t gonna work.”
She also emphasized that producers have to figure out the nature of the forthcoming Bond film before securing its lead.
“That’s why when people go, ‘Oh, who are you going to get?’ it’s not just about casting an actor for a film,” she said. “It’s about a reinvention, and ‘Where are we taking it? What do we want to do with the character?’ And then, once we figure that out, who’s the right person for that particular reinvention?”
Finally, the producers revealed that they’re still in the “early days” of their search for the next 007.
Queen Elizabeth II died around 3pm on 8 September, three and a half hours before the official announcement, a British magazine has claimed.
Private Eye also claimed the monarch had been quite ill for some time and only managed to do the state appearances she did in the final months of her reign with the help of medication, despite Buckingham Palace blaming “ongoing mobility issues” for her absence.
The magazine said the Queen was “physically weak, although mentally alert”.
Private Eye said the Queen had hoped to receive Boris Johnson and new PM Liz Truss for the official handover of power in London, but her doctors told her she was not fit enough to leave Balmoral.
Members of the Royal Family rushed to be at the Queen’s side on 8 September. (PA)
Despite her limited mobility, she was still able to carry on her normal tasks, including reportedly managing to call her horse racing manager to check on how one of her horses was doing in the days before her death.
But she became seriously ill on 8 September, catching many of those close to her and the wider Royal Family by surprise.
Although most of her family rushed to see her as soon as it became aware she was gravely ill, in the end only Princess Anne and the former Prince of Wales were there at her bedside when she died.
Private Eye said the Queen died around 3pm, but the required phone calls to inform the wider political and media establishment were delayed until all of the Royal Family could be informed.
The magazine claims the way the Royal Family’s press team handled the death of the Queen was informed by the death of Prince Philip.
They said Buckingham Palace was still claiming Philip was in “good spirits” when he was “being revived by crash teams” around the time of his death.
Huw Edwards was in black tie by 2pm before he announced the Queen’s death at 6.30pm. (Getty)
The Palace also struggled to keep a lid on the news of the Queen’s health as members of the royal staff began briefing trusted journalists about the seriousness of her situation.
Coincidentally, BBC journalist Yalda Hakim tweeted the Queen had died around the actual time of the Queen’s death, despite not knowing this and later retracting the tweet saying she had been mistaken.
On the day of the Queen’s death, the nation came to a standstill almost as soon as Buckingham Palace said they were concerned about the monarch’s health.
The BBC suspended normal programming from 12.30pm, with an episode of Bargain Hunt cut short.
Politicians were stunned into silence in the middle of a debate on the government’s answer to the energy bill crisis.
Royals rushed to Balmoral from across the country with Prince William, Andrew and Edward arriving by car around 5pm.
Initial reports suggested the group arrived before the Queen’s death, with only Prince Harry missing out on seeing her one last time, but this now appears to not be the case.
By 2pm, BBC journalists had all switched into black dress and tie.
The Queen’s death was announced to the public at 6.30pm.
Prince William, Prince of Wales. and King Charles III walk behind the coffin of Queen Elizabeth II
The royal family is required to follow an extensive list of rules and pieces of royal protocol.
However, King Charles and his family members also enjoy a number of royal perks.
They’re exempt from things like taxes and jury duty, and the king is allowed to break any law.
The British monarch can’t be arrested or be the subject of civil and criminal proceedings, meaning he is effectively exempt from the law.
Queen Elizabeth II and the then-titled Prince Charles during the State Opening of Parliament at the Palace of Westminster in 2019.Paul Edwards – WPA Pool/Getty Images
King Charlesenjoys sovereign immunity, meaning he can’t be prosecuted under a civil or criminal investigation.
This rule also applied to the late Queen Elizabeth II. According to previous guidance on the royal family’s official website, “although civil and criminal proceedings cannot be taken against the Sovereign as a person under UK law,” the Queen was careful to ensure that activities in her personal capacity were carried out in strict accordance with the law.
The royal family does not have to obey legal speed limits, but only when they’re driven by police on official royal duties.
Queen Elizabeth II in her Range Rover at the Royal Windsor Horse Show on July 2, 2021.Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images
When the king, prime minister, and other members of the royal family are driven by police officers on official royal business, they can drive as fast or as slow as they please.
According to The Sun, the Road Traffic Regulation Act gives permission for police, fire, ambulance, and other enforcement agency vehicles to break speed limits. Since the royals are always driven by police escorts while completing royal duties, their vehicles are thus exempt from following speed regulations.
The Queen didn’t have to use a passport to travel, and this is likely to also be true for King Charles.
King Charles and Queen Consort Camilla arrive in Belfast, Northern Ireland, ahead of the Queen’s funeral.Liam McBurney/pool via AP
Every passport in the United Kingdom is issued with the Queen’s name. As a consequence, the Queen didn’t need her own passport to travel, according to the royal family website.
Following the Queen’s death, passports are likely to be altered to reflect King Charles as the new sovereign. However, much like the process of altering British money and stamps, this will be a gradual change and could take a number of years, Euronews reports.
All other members of the royal family hold their own passports, the royal family website adds.
Her Majesty was never required to have a driver’s license.
Queen Elizabeth II driving a vehicle.Carl De Souza/Stringer/Getty Images
At the age of 18, Queen Elizabeth II trained as a driver and mechanic for the Women’s Auxiliary Territorial Service during World War II.
The Queen was never required to take an actual driving test and was also able to drive without a number plate because all driver’s licenses in the UK are issued in the Queen’s name, according to the Daily Express.
The Mirror reports King Charles is no longer required to use a driver’s license because he is the new monarch.
The royals don’t have to use their legal last names.
King Charles and Prince William.The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge/Twitter
The royals are not required to use their legal last names, even though they technically do have one.
Before 1917, members of the British royal family had no surname, but now, the male-line descendants of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip bear the last name Mountbatten-Windsor, according to the royal family website.
While regular grandparents have to go through the courts if they want custody of their grandchildren, the king has automatic legal custody of all of his descendants and his minor grandchildren.
Prince Charles, Prince George, and Prince William at Trooping the Colour 2015.Samir Hussein/Contributor/Getty Images
The monarch has legal custody of their grandchildren, royal historian Marlene Koenig told News.com.au. in 2018.
This means Charles technically has custody of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s three children, Prince George, Prince Charlotte, and Prince Louis, and Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s children, Archie and Lilibet.
This 300-year-old rule may seem odd, and though it’s unlikely the king would ever take his grandchildren away from their parents, the law is still technically there.
Members of the royal family are exempt from paying taxes in certain instances.
Queen Elizabeth II, Meghan Markle, Prince Harry, and Prince William at an official royal engagement.Getty Images
Though the monarch is not legally required to pay taxes, the Queen made voluntary payments on income, assets, and gains not used for official purposes, Insider previously reported.
Other parts of the royal family’s income, like the Prince of Wales’ income from the Duchy of Cornwall, are also exempt from taxes. However, he also “voluntarily pays income tax on all revenue from the estate,” according to the official website.
The royals are also able to skip out on jury duty.
Queen Elizabeth II and King Charles.Chris Jackson/Getty Images
One royal perk is that members of the king’s family do not have to take part in jury duty. In normal instances in the United Kingdom, evading jury duty results in a fine of up to £1,000, or around $1,100.
However, for the king and members of his immediate family, jury duty is not required, The Guardian reported.
The monarch typically has two birthdays.
Queen Elizabeth II cutting a birthday cake.John Stillwell – WPA Pool/Getty Images
According to the royal family’s official website, the Queen celebrated two birthdays each year: her actual birthday on April 21 and her official public birthday celebration on the second Saturday in June.
Across generations, sovereign rulers have often held their public birthday celebrations on days other than their actual birthday, especially when their real birth dates fall in the autumn or winter. This is in order to increase the likeliness of good weather for the annual Trooping the Colour parade, according to the royal family website.
Since King Charles’ birthday is in November, he could follow his mother’s lead and have a second celebration in June too, although this is yet to be confirmed.
The monarchy is also exempt from the Freedom of Information Act.
The royal family.ASSOCIATED PRESS
“The Royal Household is not a public authority within the meaning of the FOI Acts, and is therefore exempt from their provisions,” according to the royal family website.
This rule allows the royal family to exercise more privacy over their day-to-day duties and financials. For instance, while the royal household releases an annual financial report, the UK public is prevented from accessing detailed information on its spending.
Prince Harry and Prince William walked side by side at the Queen’s funeral on Monday.
The decision wasn’t a PR stunt, according to King Charles’ former butler Grant Harrold.
Harrold said the brothers showed they were “a united family” leading up to the funeral.
Grant Harrold, a former butler to King Charles, spoke to Insider about Prince Harry’s relationship with the royal family following the Queen’s funeral.
Harry and William walked side by side in the funeral procession for Queen Elizabeth II on Monday. It was a contrasting image to Prince Philip’s funeral in April 2021, where their cousin Peter Phillips stood in between the brothers.
King Charles III, Prince William, and Prince Harry at the funeral of Prince Philip on April 17, 2021.Pool/Samir Hussein/WireImage
It’s unclear whether the brothers have reconciled following reports of a rift that dates back to 2018. The Guardian reports that William and Harry made no eye contact and kept a physical distance apart during the funeral.
Harrold was employed by the royal household from 2004 until 2011 and worked closely with Charles, Harry, and William. He said he doesn’t believe Harry and William’s joint appearance would have been a PR stunt, but rather a decision that was made naturally.
“Things don’t just happen. They are always planned. But I don’t think this was intentionally planned,” Harrold said.
Harrold said the brothers already previously showed they were “a united family” when they had a walkabout with their wives at Windsor Castle to view tributes to the Queen a couple of days after she died.
“It could be short-lived, but the Queen’s death brought them together,” Harrold said.
William invited Meghan Markle and Harry to join them for the walkabout, a Kensington Palace spokesperson previously told The Times of London.
“The Prince of Wales thought it was an important show of unity at an incredibly difficult time for the family,” the spokesperson said, according to The Times.
Harrold added that Harry’s relationship with the king could be improving as well. The monarch mentioned his “love for Harry and Meghan as they continue to build their lives overseas” in his first speech as king on September 9.
“The fact that Charles said that, it was him extending an olive branch,” Harrold said.
“He acknowledged their new life in California, but made clear they are part of the family. This was his first major statement as king, and he made it clear that even if people don’t like Meghan, she is part of the family,” he added.
Kensington Palace, Buckingham Palace, and representatives for the Duke of Sussex did not immediately respond to Insider’s request for comment.
Every week on the Gregorian calendar, there is an independence day celebration by a former British colony. Today, 62 countries – a great many of them African – exist as reminders of British imperial ambition. In the wake of the death of Queen Elizabeth II, the British empire, quite predictably, is facing another emotionally-charged scrutiny, more especially in Africa.
White European and American sensibilities have been offended with the pillorying the British monarchy is receiving in the aftermath of the queen’s death. While some have claimed that they do not necessarily object to criticisms of British imperialism but would rather have the conversation at a more appropriate time, the offense has largely been taken as a result of a divergence of views of what imperialism means. There are many who would like Africans to be grateful for British imperialism or to spare Elizabeth in particular, the rancor.
The global public has a tricky relationship with what empire is. Here, I do not wish to provoke the historiographical question of what reign and subjugation deserve to be called imperial. Rather, my concern is moral – do we think empire is bad? What do we think happens when the imperialists come to town?
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My argument is that those who are confused and frustrated with the section of Africans who would prefer to spit on Queen Elizabeth’s grave may not be entirely conversant with what British and European imperialism fashioned. At best, they are very forgiving or forgetful.
The point of European imperialism
One may cite two main theories for why empires exist. There is the view that an imperial status is a natural consequence of growth, and in a rather competitive world, it is key to the sustenance of a nation. The curious case of Belgium owning an African colony that was more than 70 times the size of Belgium, follows from this tradition. The very first Belgian monarch, King Leopold I, considered owning a colony in accordance with the expectations of nation-building in 1840s Europe. Belgium, founded in 1830, needed to exact its sphere of influence over an area where it could also extract materials.
The second opinion on empire is right up Rudyard Kipling’s poetic alley – that imperialism occurs when some people take it upon themselves to civilize others. Kipling’s White Man’s Burden implores the white man to “seek another’s profit” and “work another’s gain”, language that likens imperialism to charity missions. The 19th century British colonial entrepreneur Cecil Rhodes was certainly a man who thought himself a Christian soldier even if he expropriated African wealth.
Both theories invite a certain sympathy for the imperialist cause. We are asked to understand empire as a matter of necessity, and in this light, the evils of empire tend to be unintended repercussions of either a nation’s raison d’être or the small price to pay for civilization.
Imperialism is not specifically European but European imperialism, birthed by their age of enlightenment, is specifically treacherous in a way and to a magnitude that other systems of domination cannot compare.
It is absolutely necessary to remind all that the internationalization of the counter-imperialist movement is only a little more than a century old. For the longest while in global affairs, history is written by the victors”, as the saying goes, and at this juncture, by victors who were unified in a supra-kingdom identity. The creation of race, for one, during this period literally incentivized a wider European participation in colonisation because the idea of white supremacy justifies the atrocities meted out to those who were seen as philosophically and physically sub-human. And this is partly why the concept of empire has enjoyed hallowed glorification, thanks to the ‘winners’ who wrote world history.
This is as true as it is Thrasymachian. And that brings me to the point of European imperialism.
Apart from territorial expansionist politics, European imperialism was also a ‘world-making’ opportunity where the values, truths and thought processes of the vanquished gave way to those of the victors. European imperialism in Africa was designed to pursue the interests of crown, capital and if you can believe, Christ, but the processes of whipping our fore-parents in line was also to culminate in the standardization of a certain kind of world where the African and all other peoples knew their place beneath the white European.
We often refer to the usurpation of a people’s intangible way of life as cultural imperialism and it
is as if that is separate from colonization. But this is a consequence of recency bias because in fact, in the long history of human evolution, cultural imperialism has been occasioned only through overtaking lands. Americanisation, a perfect example of imperialism through Hollywood, Bretton Woods and Silicon Valley, is a very recent phenomenon. Even that is often spurred by military adventurism.
But European imperialism was the motherboard. From about the 17th century, the seeds of the world we now know had begun to bear fruits. Colonies in Africa, Asia, and Americas were situated in compliance with the conveniences of London, Brussels, Paris, Madrid, Lisbon et al. The writer Howard French also notes in Born in Blackness that this period was the beginning of the obscuration of Africa’s primary contributions and agency in the making of the modern world. Plundering the continent and belittling Africans was essential to Eurocentric world-making. Indeed, by colonizing virtually everyone else, Europe essentially created the modern world in its own image and in obeisance to its own interests.
Sadly, in many history textbooks across Africa, young people are taught the ‘merits’ of colonization. But if imperialism was an opportunity to construct a world apropos of Europeanism, any merit of colonization is literally the tools the colonized was bequeathed to survive in a world created by the colonizer.
Elizabeth and African anger
Indeed, no other imperial European power proved as successful as the British colonial experience. The lengths reached by British domination were the stuff of envy, with crown providing the arms and legs to the dreams of capitalist exploitation, particularly in Africa. That was the case for more than 200 years before Elizabeth became the queen of her people and the colonized.
In conversations with various individuals, I have urged an elevation of the target of our polemics and I stand accused of humanizing the woman whose political office represents so much of how things have historically gone south for Africans. I often feel that to single out the departed queen for the iniquities of the empire can seem mean-spirited and intellectually myopic. After all, Elizabeth, like her father George and her son Charles, was born to ceremonial duty and destiny.
It’s not personal, it’s business, and the machinery that props them – which should be our target – has been grinding for nearly half a millennium
Since 1660, the British monarchy has been updated with the times and lest we forget, the clamor for its dissolution is older than Britain’s exploits in Africa. But the question of why the monarchy persists in the United Kingdom is not an interesting question and it is one I am grateful not to answer. Mine is to seek to understand how and why the monarchy expanded its grandeur and allure internationally. Why has it also, in contemporary times, maintained its popular mystique despite the advent of liberal democracy and in spite of the stories of its dying and dead counterparts? (The European monarchies that survived World War I are not half as intriguing or powerful as Buckingham Palace today).
Perhaps, that is where Elizabeth and her reign come in. In 1952, when her father died, Elizabeth was on a family vacation in the British colony of Kenya. Later in the same year. the Kenyan Land and Freedom Army (KLFA) lit the fires of what has come to be known as the MauMau Uprising. It was a response to the British government’s sanction that forced locals off their lands to make room for colonial settlers. The uprising was only one of several ominous acts of civil disobedience after World War II in British Africa. The independence struggle had picked up across the continent by this time and in Britain, the colonial power was planning and pitching postcolonial scenarios. In 1953, Elizabeth told New Zealanders in a Christmas message broadcast via radio that she felt at home anywhere the British had colonized but was ditching the imperial tradition for a “new conception of an equal partnership of races and nations”, i.e. the Commonwealth.
But the significance of that fateful day when George I died for many Africans is that Elizabeth’s ascension began in Africa. If the argument is therefore that Africa should have occupied more than a footnote in Elizabeth’s imperial reign – as history has shown – those who make it have been sorely disappointed. In fairness, the future queen had already announced on an earlier visit to the continent – Cape Town, South Africa in 1947 – that she was committed “to the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong”. She did not attempt to depart from this pledge even if the British substituted “imperial” for “Commonwealth”.
Sometimes, Elizabeth’s defenders cite her evangelism of the commonwealth in the former colonies as proof that she welcomed positive change. But the imperial-to-commonwealth argument falls at the first hurdle – what is our common wealth when our alliance is not on common grounds? Where are the reparations and acknowledgements that equal partners require to forge forward?
For a large part of the three score years and a decade that she reigned, Elizabeth was singularly the most effective arsenal in the British diplomatic toolkit and she was deployed quite effectively. By whatever design or spell, the queen was often regaled with excellent hospitality in the former colonies whose leaderships could separate her person from the politics. Even in Ghana, the magnificent force of decolonization, Kwame Nkrumah, danced famously and heartily with Queen Elizabeth in 1961 when she visited that country.
She was around for the consensuses that have shaped the post-World War II world in the last 50 years and incredibly failed to take advantage of watershed moments to kick off what will undoubtedly be a long and hard conversation. She seemed content to play envoy of imperial purpose and perhaps, this is what I overlook when I extend her grace.
The monarchy’s allure has been perpetuated by more efforts than the Machiavellian attempts in London. But critically, what we have witnessed is the power of an institution to soften the blows thrown at British colonialism, dissuade retrospection and offer nothing more than gesture politics.
With this in mind, what many Africans are saying today is that the queen made the choice to star as alibi for imperialism.
Oluwole Omofemi’s trip to see his works on display in New York earlier this year at Volta art fair, where three of his pieces (which had already been sold) were shown, marked the completion of his arrival on the international market. Three years ago the Nigerian artist sold 12 paintings to a friend for £1,000. Since the beginning of this year he has shifted 21 for a combined total of more than $1mn, including one for $189,000. His rocket trip to stardom was fuelled by the commission for a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II for the cover of Tatler’s platinum jubilee issue.
The 34-year-old’s vast portraits of women plucked from the streets of his home city of Ibadan, Nigeria — pop in palette but Old Master in sensibility — have contributed to a surge of interest in African portraiture, making him one of the most sought-after artists in a continent of increasingly sought-after artists.
Oluwole Omofemi’s portrait of the Queen, which appeared on Tatler’s platinum jubilee cover last year
Since the rapid rise in his fortunes, Omofemi has begun a new life, involving handshakes with princes, champagne toasts with hangers-on and the curious reappearance of bygone acquaintances. He was thrilled to meet Prince Charles at a Buckingham Palace jubilee reception, where the prince asked him about his techniques. “I said I use oil and acrylic. He said: ‘Oh, nice to meet you, you are doing well’ and shook my hand.”
But, the artist insists, he remains unchanged. He shuns the glamour of Lagos and London, though he is hunting for a home in the British capital for his wife and two children. He eats pounded yam and fufu at the same roadside shacks. He drops in on his grandfather in the cramped streets of home. He financially supports his two sisters and a group of local widows, while setting up a residency for aspiring artists. However hard galleries try to prise him away, he says, he will always be an artist of Ibadan.
We meet in his two-room, first-floor studio, from which he gazes out at the brown roofs of his city and its spreading yellows, greens and purples — which have a habit of ending up in his pictures. It’s a national holiday, and he has arrived back from New York only 24 hours earlier.
“I’m not even rested, seriously. Today I should be staying at home with my family.”
‘Awaiting’ (2021) by Oluwole Omofemi
Family, Omofemi gives the impression, lies at the root of everything. After attending the art fair in New York he flew to Sacramento to surprise his father, who left his mother when he was a baby and whom he had not seen since the older man moved away from Nigeria 14 years ago. “That was the first time we slept together in the same bed . . . My dad was in the sitting room and just there, and at one point I appear like a ghost. And he was like: ‘What am I seeing?’”
Godwin Oluwole Omofemi was born in central Ibadan, Nigeria’s sprawling third city, to that departing father and a mother of whom he will say no more than that “she did everything possible for me to get a better life”. His parentshad “some issues”, and after his father left she took him to his grandfather, who “accepted me and accepted my mother too for who she is”.
Omofemi’s grandfather nurtured him, and seeing the toddler fashion strange objects out of cans and paper, pointed him towards a career as an electrician. The boy had other ideas. From the age of eight he washed cars, scrubbed plates, hawked beer, toiled in a restaurant. “These are the things that I passed through as an artist growing up.”
Working from a small studio as a schoolboy, he sold paintings, mostly portraits, for £3 or £4, “just raising money”. He got commissions from friends and even from his teacher, at one stage, as birthday gifts for people. He made it to the Polytechnic Ibadan, taking a diploma in art and a higher diploma in painting. He studied the works of the city’s figurative heroes, Ebenezer Akinola and Tope Fatunmbi. (Ibadan, Omofemi says, boasts the most technically gifted artists in Nigeria, and Nigeria the best in west Africa.)
He learnt ceramics, textiles, sculpture. He began to sustain himself through sales, and 10 years ago won representation from Alexis Gallery, a key launch pad in Lagos. He became a familiar figure on the Nigerian art scene, along the way discovering and falling in love with foreign artists such as Picasso and Klimt but forming a growing sense of his own identity as an artist.
In March 2020, Signature African Art gallery in London held a show for him; early in 2021 Out of Africa gallery displayed his work. His first piece on the secondary market sold for $8,000 in June 2020. Sotheby’s, Christie’s, Phillips and Bonhams began auctioning works that have consistently outpaced their estimates until “Invader”, an arresting portrait of a bald young woman covered in sapphire against a sun-yellow background, set his record of $189,000 at Christie’s in March this year (the estimate was $10,000-$15,000).
‘Invader’ (2021) by Oluwole Omofemi, which sold for $189,000 at Christie’s in March
He paints “friends or people I see on the street. At times I use my wife as a model.” He works from photographs, hundreds of which he takes in his studio, looking for the right faces to suit the theme or the idea in his mind. Occasionally he paints prostitutes, whom he came to know when his old studio was next to their quarters. “There’s a fence that separated us from their buildings, so men came to their place to sleep with them. They came to my place as well, to see my art, to visit me. We talked about art because mostly I paint women. And, you know, women have always been most of the friends that I have.”
He paints several pieces at once, which take about a month each, depending on his mood. Omofemi’s central motif is hair, which he uses to endorse the liberation of African women from colonial racism through the natural hair movement that began in the 1960s. Afro hair, elaborately plaited hair, conspicuously absent hair — for him they are all a “symbol of power”, a “metaphor for freedom”.
It therefore made total sense for Omofemi to give Queen Elizabeth, a “symbol of hope” whom he considers to have “conquered life”, a halo of black hair in her jubilee portrait. After he got the commission from Tatler, he faced the terrifying task of finding “a new palette” to “capture the essence” of the first white woman he had ever painted. And now he is planning a series of portraits of black women evoking iconic royal photographs.
‘Seduction’ (2021) by Oluwole Omofemi
The commission for the Queen’s portrait had a powerful impact, however. He took to sleeping separately from his wife in a room filled with printouts of his new subject.
“At one point I was having a kind of spiritual communication with some of the pictures . . . I was imagining that the Queen was sitting down with me.” As he explained to his wife: “What I’m about to do is going to put my name in the history of art.”
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The year was 1956, and there was much fanfare and anticipation for Queen Elizabeth’s first visit to Nigeria.
The young monarch was just a few years into her reign and making a highly anticipated visit to the West African country, which had yet to become a republic.
Ahead of her arrival, famed Nigerian artist Ben Enwonwu received a royal commission to commemorate her visit with a statue, which made him the first African artist to create an official portrait of a member of the royal family.
He began working on the sculpture the following year, visiting Buckingham Palace in London for several sittings.
“In 1957, Queen Elizabeth II sat for Enwonwu for a large bronze sculpture,” noted the Royal Collection Trust, which oversees the art collection of the British royal family.
He began working on the sculpture the following year, visiting Buckingham Palace in London for several sittings.
“In 1957, Queen Elizabeth II sat for Enwonwu for a large bronze sculpture,” noted the Royal Collection Trust, which oversees the art collection of the British royal family.
Ben Enwonwu working on the bronze sculpture of the queen Credit: Courtesy Oliver Enwonwu/The Ben Enwonwu Foundation
In all, Queen Elizabeth sat for Enwonwu 12 times, eight of which were at Buckingham Palace, according to the Ben Enwonwu Foundation’s website.
The rest of the sittings took place at a private studio belonging to Sir William Reid-Dick, Enwonwu’s colleague at the Royal Society of British Artists.
During this time, Enwonwu “finished a portrait bust and a sketch model of the sculpture,” according to the foundation.
Ben Enwonwu and HM Elizabeth II looking at his sculpture of the queen Credit: Courtesy Oliver Enwonwu/The Ben Enwonwu Foundation
‘African features’
Enwonwu completed the sculpture in 1957 and raised some eyebrows at the time for depicting the queen with fuller lips. His son Oliver said that it was part of Ben Enwonwu’s signature style to “Africanize” his subjects.
“Some of the rave reviews that the sculpture received was that the artist depicted the queen through his African eyes, the work had African features, which was characteristic of his work,” Oliver Enwonwu told CNN.
Oliver, also a renowned artist, described the queen’s sculpture as one of his father’s greatest works.
“My father was very proud of it. It was one of his masterpieces that showed his dexterity as an artist,” he told CNN.
“At the time, it (Enwonwu making a sculpture of the queen) was a big deal because he was an African artist. But he was the most famous in the Commonwealth at the time so it was very easy that he would be given the nod,” Oliver added.
Unveiling of the statue in Nigeria Credit: Courtesy Oliver Enwonwu/The Ben Enwonwu Foundation
While the sculpture later ended up in Nigeria, Queen Elizabeth acquired the bust and, according to the Royal Collection Trust, had another Enwonwu sculpture as well as a number of his paintings.
The bronze of the queen was later placed at the Nigerian parliament building ahead of preparations for the country’s independence from Britain in 1960.
The work now resides in the Nigerian national museum.
An influential African artist
Enwonwu has come to be known as one of Africa’s greatest modernists.
His portrait of Nigerian princess Adetutu “Tutu” Ademiluyi, dubbed the “African Mona Lisa,” sold for over $1.6 million (£1,205,000) at a London auction in 2018.
Born in 1917, Enwonwu has been described as the most influential African artist of the 20th century.
He had become an eminent artist even before his royal commission, and in 1954, was given a Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) award by the queen for his services to art.
Enwonwu earned a scholarship in 1944 from Shell West Africa and the British Council to study fine art in the UK after a successful solo exhibition. He received a classical education at the Slade School of Fine Art in London and attended Oxford University. Enwonwu later returned to Nigeria to become a lecturer.
He was appointed Nigeria’s first professor of art by the University of Ife, now known as Obafemi Awolowo University, in 1971 and received a National Merit Award from the Nigerian government nine years later.
It was in the 1950s, the seeds of decolonization began to sprout, and nearly every fabric of social life was drenched in the sweet odour of a people longing for a special kind of Freedom. Independence. The euphoria found expression in native art, music and fashion. The latter, although less written about in the respectable commentary of history, still occupies a most ambient chapter in the annals of the history of that era.
The Kariba suit strode off from the land of Jamaica into Africa.
Jamaican males decided to break free from the yoke of the jacket and tie after gaining independence from Great Britain. The stylish, open-neck, over-the-pants Kareeba and matching trousers suit evolved into the country’s official standard for formal occasions, work attire, and everyday wear.
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Elsewhere, the safari suit and leisure suit are other names for it, but in Jamaica, the Kareeba, a stylized abbreviation of Caribbean clothing is something unique. Its wearing involves more than just fashion and comfort. There’s also the politics of it.
When Prime Minister, Michael Manley, came into power in 1972, he and his administration chose the Kareeba as their official uniform to show that they were breaking with the past. The Prime Minister donned a fancy black one when he saw Queen Elizabeth II, and the Government even had a statute approved in Parliament confirming the appropriateness of the attire for formal events.
It has been around in different forms in numerous hot, tropical countries, but it wasn’t well-known in Jamaica till a delightful designer by the name of Ivy Ralph decided to expand from bush jackets into “a total look,” and called it Kareeba a name that is now frequently used to refer to the entire genre, irrespective of the manufacturer.
Other noteworthy politicians who wore the style of the suit were D.K. Duncan, a PNP member, Errol Barrow, the prime minister of Barbados, Forbes Burnham, the president of Guyana, the president of Ghana, Osagyefo Dr. Kwame Nkrumah, and Julius Nyerere, the president of Tanzania. Ivy Ralph, the creator of the Kariba suit, received the Order of Distinction in 1999 for her exceptional work in advancing fashion.
A representation of “cultural decolonization” was indeed the Kariba suit. Manley referred to wearing a jacket and tie in the Caribbean’s tropical climate as the “first act of psychological surrender” to “colonial trauma” in his autobiography The Politics of Change. It was declared in 1981 by the newly elected JLP government that the Kariba suit was no longer appropriate attire for lawmakers. Then, parliament mandated that MPs, guests, and media should “dress with decorum,” which was interpreted to mean avoiding Kariba suits and guayabera shirts.
There are formal Kareebas with a tunic neck and a tiny slit breast pocket in place of the casual ones, as well as Kareebas in dark tones and shocking turquoise with opposing stitching and embroidered, wide flare lapels. They cost between $65 and $70 when custom-fitted, which was how Mrs. Ralph sold the majority of her kareebas. They sold for $10 less off the rack.
The period after independence saw most of the colonies moving disassociating themselves from their colonial masters symbolically. For some countries, flags, national anthems were the way to go and for Jamaica, the Kariba suit was another symbolic representation of decolonization.
In the 21st century, the Kariba suit is not known as it is it has evolved aesthetically and is widely known as a political suit and is worn not just by politicians, but by all men who take a liking to it.
Nims Obunge is a pastor at the Freedom’s Ark Church in Tottenham, North London. This is a part of Europe‘s most diverse city where one is destined to meet a lot of Black people of African and Caribbean descent. In 2011 when protests broke in North London, the world was given a view of how these Londoners lived in desperate, if not squalid conditions, compared to the image we have of the city.
In 2008, Obunge told the BBC what he made of life in North London from the perspective of a pastor.
“[W]e had a big problem with violent crime here. I was burying young people who had been shot or stabbed and I was speaking at their death, yet I’d never had the opportunity to speak in their lives. So, I felt challenged by God to see whether I could pastor people who I knew would never come to my church,” Obunge said at the time.
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This experience as undoubtedly shaped his understanding of what it is to be a Londoner. His Christian ministry is now well-received and he commands respect beyond Tottenham and the pulpit. He was once a Deputy Lieutenant to the Lord Lieutenant of Greater London. But he is still a Black man in Great Britain, Obunge claims.
He told The Africa Report: “[T]he history of the black experience has painfully revealed the base nature of our humanity. Slavery, colonialism and imperialism must never be forgotten as eras of cruelty and total violations of basic human rights.”
Obunge wants to be in a position of influence where his decisions edge towards the restoration and defense of Black humanity. And so when polls open in London on Thursday, May 6, he will be one of 20 individuals vying for the position of London mayor. This list includes incumbent Sadiq Khan, a Labour Party politician of Pakistani descent. Obunge is thought to be an unlikely winner and part of it is that he is an independent runner but the 56-year-old has a plan if the unexpected happens.
“I will call a truce against gang warfare, set up a program for offenders who need to be trained to change their outlooks and immediately establish a Covid-19 Recovery Plan for businesses that need to get back on their feet,” he summarized.
But Obunge is not the only among the hopeful lot to have intimate knowledge of gang violence in London. The Conservative Party’s Shaun Bailey, another Black man, has also touted his experience with the phenomenon among poor ethnic minorities and has said “politics isn’t scary when you’ve seen stabbings”.
Yet, Obunge believes he comes to his conclusions and construction of his identity quite differently than Bailey who is of Jamaican descent. The latter’s parents were among the Windrush generation but the former believes being in Africa and being an African is a phenomenon that forces an appreciation of Blackness like no other.
Obunge was born to Nigerian parents in 1956 in Kensington, London. His father was a diplomat and that meant Obunge’s family traveled a lot. He lived for a while in Nigeria, graduating from the University of Jos in the 1980s. He then returned to the UK after his brother was diagnosed with cancer and has since made his birth country his home.
Kendra Robinson is an extremely talented woman and arguably one of the few black entrepreneurs exhibiting professional excellence in three different career fields. She is a lawyer, a real estate investor and a reality TV star.
She is founder of the real estate firm SRS Title and Associates, and the law firm Kendra Robinson and Associates. So, how did all start for Robinson?
The South Carolina native studied mathematics at Kentucky State University and continued to the University of Louisville where she completed her law degree. Robinson’s inspiration was inspired in part by the time she spent watching episodes of “Law & Order” with her mother and the need to fight racial injustice in her community.
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According to her, being a lawyer is the most rewarding thing she has ever done. It was through her professional career as a lawyer that she became a real estate investor. She created a niche for herself as a real estate closing attorney and a criminal defence attorney.
She ventured into real estate at the behest of her husband and Grammy-nominated rapper Jasiel Robinson (aka Yung Joc.). This allowed her to learn how to do real estate closings and title work. Now she is a certified real estate agent.
She attributes her success to divine providence, asserting that God is her motivation, and adding that she could not have come this far without his blessings.
“I give all glory and credit to God. I’m not self-made. I didn’t do it all by myself. It was God,” she told theatlantavoice. “The best part is the impact that I know that I’ve been able to make, just simply by trying to help somebody or trying to put somebody in a better position, whether it’s to get them out of a criminal situation, an immigration situation, or helping them close on a house,” she continued.
“Providing them with that long-term security of home ownership, and the benefits that come with that. Basically, changing people around me for the better has been my highlight.”
In addition to her professional career as an attorney and her real estate business, she is also a reality TV personality. She appears on “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” although she was initially reluctant to appear on it.
Asked by BET what are some of the important lessons she has learnt as an entrepreneur, she responded: “One of the most important things I learned is to delegate tasks and also find a mentor. In any endeavour, I’ve engaged in or any businesses I own, I have my mentors to help guide me.”
She continued: “I have a mentor who was the first boss I had coming out of law school, his name is Craig Lewis. Anytime I have a question I call Mr Lewis. Because when you’re starting out on your own, and whatever it is, unless you’re already an expert, even if you are already an expert, starting a business is different, because you don’t get a paycheck, and you don’t get an insurance playing, you are the provider of all these things. So having a good mentor that is key.”
The diversity of African cultures and peoples is often reflected in the range of hairstyles and headgear used by its citizens.
Hairstyles and headgear have been utilized by various civilizations to indicate tribal affiliation, gender, religion, occupation and social rank. As a fashion item, diverse cultures have produced wigs, hats, hair accessories, razors, and combs. The numerous statues and masks from ancient Africa that display intricate hair adornments provide evidence of the significance of headgear to African culture.
Women in Nigeria traditionally wear a gele on top of their heads. A huge headscarf called ‘gele’ is used on different occasions as a decorative head covering or as a fashion accessory. Even though they can be worn every day, Nigerian women prefer to dress up for special occasions like weddings and church services. They are composed of sturdy materials and can cover a woman’s hair and even her ears during wedding ceremonies, leaving the face and earrings uncovered.
It is a quotidian ornamental feature of Women in West Africa, especially among Ghanaians and the Yoruba people of Nigeria.Aside from ceremonies, it has also become a staple of women’s daily attire because it comes in different variations, some of which are only appropriate for ceremonial settings.
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Historically, a can serve the utility of identifying a woman’s marital status; if worn to the right, she is married, while if worn to the left shows that she is single. Due to the fact that larger Geles are more expensive, they are typically prestige symbols.
Aso-oke gele is now in style; it is often not too expensive. However, one can add more flair to it by increasing the number of steps of its fold. The sequined or beaded variants are more expensive.
There are numerous creative ways to tie a Gele, most of which require a level of skills which can only be learned by constant practice. There are plenty of skilled hands on offer to help wear a Gele, but even that is being replaced by the influx of already molded styles.
A gele is seen and worn in steps, and for descriptive purposes, it sort of looks like a fan with two arms sitting atop the wearer’s head. Its form shows ingenuity because there are so many lovely styles that can be created with the Gele. Hence, a lady who is dressed up in Gele is seen as being proud of exhibiting her culture publicly.
In Igbo culture, the Gele is typically worn over a blouse and ‘George Wrapper’. As a result, the Gele is currently a fashion statement. In actuality, not wearing a Gele when wearing the traditional Yoruba gele In fact, it will be regarded as a fashion faux pas to wear the traditional Yoruba Boba and iro without a Gele.
These are geles that are produced especially for celebrations of significant events like chieftaincy title ceremonies, milestone birthdays, traditional marriages, and other noteworthy occasions. Aso-Oke, a woven cloth spun by hand or machine specifically for each customer, is typically used to create custom-made Geles.
Today, the Gele is worn on a variety of garments, including cocktail dresses, skirt suits, and pantsuits. As Gele’s uses are still developing, the options are virtually limitless.
The wife of a Black manwho was handcuffed by police after a couple wrongfully accused him of stealing their truck, says she believes race played a factor in the way her husband was treated.
According to ABC7, the Black Oakland resident was in his vehicle on September 13 when he was approached by a couple. “He described it like they were looking in his truck bed and he rolled down his window and said to them ‘Can I help you with something?’ and they said to him something to the effect of ‘Our truck was stolen,’” the man’s wife, Nicole Hirsch, said.
Hirsch said her husband, who works as a landscaper, had his tools in the car at the time. But she said the couple went ahead to claim the car he was driving was stolen, and it belonged to them. That was after the Black man showed them a picture that was taken of the truck some four years ago. Several police officers later arrived at the scene and surrounded him with their vehicles.
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“He put his hands up is my understanding and followed their orders,” said Hirsch. “He told me that it’s embarrassing to be in handcuffs on the street with many cop cars around. It’s humiliating. It’s infuriating.”
Hirsch said the officers handcuffed her husband even before they asked for his license and registration, adding that he also tried to prove that the truck indeed belonged to him. She believes race played a factor in the way her husband was treated.
“I definitely do,” Hirsch said. “Just like this couple that is claiming this is our truck. He is also a person and why is his voice and his opinion not given the same weight and credence that the couple was given.”
Responding to the incident, the Oakland Police Department said that they “received a call from a victim who’s vehicle had been recently stolen in Oakland, advising that they found their stolen vehicle occupied in the 700 block of 35th Street.”
“When officers arrived, they located a vehicle that matched the year, make, model and color of the victim’s vehicle and detained the occupant, pending further investigation. Officers later determined that the vehicle in question was registered to the individual who was detained,” the OPD added.
A neighbor who spoke with ABC7 also concurred with Hirsch’s sentiments. “He is Black so they look at us like since we are Black we are the most targeted to either steal a car,” the neighbor said.
Hirsch is a sociologist, and she specializes in diversity, equity, and inclusion research. She said her husband’s recent experience is the reason why she took up that career.
“My hope is that protocol changes. My hope is that the Oakland police department finds better ways to treat particularly folks of color and my hope is that this doesn’t happen to anybody else ever again,” Hirsch said.
The couple said they’re looking at the possibility of taking legal action.
The former Philadelphia police officer Eric Ruch Jr, accused of fatally shooting an unarmed Black motorist in 2017, was on Tuesday September 20th, found guilty of voluntary manslaughter. As previously reported by Face2FaceAfrica, Ruch’s murder trial for killing Dennis Plowden Jr. commenced last Tuesday.
The former cop’s prosecution was described as Philadelphia’s first-ever police murder trial for a civilian killing, NBC Philadelphia reported. And though Ruch was not convicted of a third-degree murder charge, the jury found him guilty of possession of an instrument of crime. Following the verdict, the former police officer was taken into custody after the judge revoked his bail. His sentencing date was set for November 17.
Ruch fatally shot Dennis Plowden following a high-speed chase, The Associated Press reported. But during the first day of his trial, the convicted man’s lawyer told the court that his client became distraught when he got to know the man he had shot wasn’t armed.
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Prosecutors said Ruch opened fire on Plowden, 25, a few seconds after he responded to the scene, adding that his other colleague officers had held their fire at the time. The deceased Black man crashed the car he was driving during the police chase. And following the crash, an investigation by a grand jury determined that he raised his left hand and attempted to obey commands. The jury also determined that Plowden was dazed at the time.
But Ruch’s lawyer, David Mischak, argued that Plowden’s right hand was out of sight and he had placed it close to a pocket. “As soon as my client discovered it was heroin and not a gun, he was upset. He was distraught,” Mischak told the jurors.
Mischak also encouraged jurors to also look into the events leading up to the fatal shooting. Police believed the car Plowden was driving was connected to a homicide that had recently happened. But it was established Plowden wasn’t connected to that case, and he had borrowed the vehicle.
Besides Ruch, two other Philadelphia police officers have also been charged with murder over their actions while on the job, The Associated Press reported.
Tania Bond, who is Plowden’s widow, testified last Tuesday. She said her husband succumbed to his injuries at a hospital the day after he was shot. Last year, The Philadelphia Inquirer reported that the city agreed to pay her $1.2 million to settle a wrongful death lawsuit.
Ruch had served on the police force for 10 years. But during his years on the job, a number of complaints were filed against him. During a pretrial hearing, Philadelphia Common Pleas Judge Barbara McDermott reportedly prevented prosecutors from notifying jurors about the complaints as internal affairs determined he did not commit any wrongdoing in most of the complaints.
Ruch faces up to 25 years in prison, per The Philadelphia Inquirer. But his sentence could be reduced to around five years because of advisory sentencing guidelines.
It is never easy to list and rank a country’s wealth.
There are undoubtedly numerous obstacles to economic growth and maintaining a prosperous, healthy, and productive society, including social-economic status, commerce, economic shifts, natural disasters, long-standing colonialism, poverty and inequality, and political corruption.
Africa is home to 1.33 billion people who reside in 54 different countries and who generate $2.2 trillion in nominal GDP through trade, agriculture, and the extraction of diverse energy sources (oil being the dominant one in certain countries).
Africa has the fastest growth rate in the world in 2013, at 5.6% per year.
The continent of Africa is in for a bright future, but as we’ll explain in the following pages, it’s crucial to comprehend the present.
Meet Atlanta, Georgia native Dianna King, a software engineer and foodie who is also the co-founder and CEO of Eat UNrestricted, one of the only brands of plant-based vegan cheese products run by a woman of color.
Vegan cheese accounts for a sizable share of sales of vegan goods as hundreds of thousands of individuals move to plant-based diets.
The demand for vegan consumer packaged goods (CPG) is immense, and Future Market Insights’ research shows that the supply cannot keep up with the demand’s explosive growth in popularity.
According to Diane, she wants to address this issue with her company, which is committed to offering the highest-quality products to supporters of vegans, those who have food allergies, and anybody else who wants to improve their health.
Dianna is an engineer by trade, having earned a bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering from the Georgia Institute of Technology, but she claims that she was first and foremost a foodie.
She claims that addressing the growing need for wholesome, high-quality, vegan goods is a significant motivation behind the development of Eat UNrestricted.
Her leadership abilities were evident from a young age, and she was motivated to use her abilities to have an impact.
She comments, “I am an electrical engineer by trade. However, I have always been an entrepreneur and foodie.
I remember founding the first physics class at my community college during my time as a high school and college student simultaneously through the dual enrollment program offered by my local college.
My parents were also leaders and showcased it daily as entrepreneurs in the entertainment industry.”
A boxer from Detroit, Isiah Jones was shot and killed by his brother on Monday during a fight, according to his trainer Roshawn Jones, who spoke to the media at Detroit .
The 28-year-old boxer’s trainer claimed that he was informed of the tragic event one hour after it occurred.
Roshawn Jones admitted, “I instantaneously broke out in tears and was hurt.” “It’s tragic that it happened that way.”
Police in Detroit have confirmed the gunshot event.
And while claiming that a family member shot and killed an adult male, they withheld the victim’s identify.
However, neighbors also gave the news organization confirmation that the victim was Isiah Jones and that his brother had shot him as a result of a conflict.
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“I was trying to get him for the last 30 days to come down (to Toledo, Ohio) to the gym and start training at the gym, so he could isolate himself from his friends and that type of negative energy that was in Detroit at the time,” Roshawn Jones said.
“People aren’t perfect in life, but when they are fighting demons, sometimes the demons take over. Whether it’s their friends they’re involved with, family they’re involved with, they just can’t overcome those obstacles.”
Following the shooting, police said the suspect fled the area. The fatal incident is also under investigation.
“He set the tone for everybody. He was the hardest working person in the gym and he’s just a great overall guy,” the deceased boxer’s trainer said. “He was a great guy, great family man, loved his kids and he did the best he could to provide for his children.”
Jones won the National Golden Gloves in 2016, TMZ reported. He also turned professional that same year. His professional record stood at 9-7 while his amateur record was 52-2.
The West African country of Nigeria’s narcotics enforcement agency claimed to have carried out what appears to be the greatest cocaine seizure in its history, according to the BBC.
Near the commercial district of Lagos, in the Ikorodu neighborhood, 1.8 tons of cocaine were discovered in a warehouse. This quantity is thought to be worth approximately $278 million (£243 million).
The drugs were stashed in 13 drums and 10 travel bags, according to the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA).
In different parts of Lagos, four Nigerian men—ages 69, 65, and two 53—were seized.
A foreign individual was also apprehended in what the agency characterized as a “well structured and intelligence led operation” extended over two days.
The individuals wanted to sell the medicines to customers in Europe, Asia,and other continents, according to NDLEA.
Underneath the throne of its King to the halls, where visitors are customarily anticipated to undergo some formalities before being brought inside the palace, lies the glory of the Shona Kingdom, which was located in modern-day South Africa.
The second-most significant individual in the kingdom, the principal councilor of the palace, is expected to schedule appointments for visitors to the monarch of Shona.
He resides in the terrace enclosure next to the museum due of his prominence.
He was in command of the court of dare, where the Shona Kingdom’s politicians gathered to hear legal disputes and deliberate on issues important to the empire.
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The court’s design places a public gathering space and the dare in the middle of a settlement beneath the museum.
Historical accounts claim that the daring served as the Shona kingdom’s equivalent of an appeals court.
Archeologist Thomas Huffman of the Witwatersrand University in South Africa wrote in his book, Symbols in Stone, that the chieftainship status in the Shona culture was comparable to the majesty and solitude of the hills.
According to him, the political elite lived on high grounds, ritually secluded as a symbol of authority. Leaders in the Shona tradition were referred to as mountains because that was where their thrones were situated.
According to Huffman, the Shona people think that their kings and royal families must reside at the summit of the Zimbabwe Hills.
The only component of the mountain historically referred to as Dzimbahwe, which can be interpreted to mean “house of the chief,” is the center hill.
The King of Shona lived in a very large, lofty house, which his subjects frequently walked to, according to historical materials written by the Portuguese author Edward Barbosa in 1918.
Thomas noted that besides giving protection, the King was expected to be provided fertile soil and abundant crops to his people. Oral history has it that the stone towers next to the monoliths are symbolic grain bins, representing the responsibility of the chief to his subjects.
He maintained that the reason the king resided apart from the people was due to the king’s supreme importance and sacred nature.
Few officials resided in the Kings courtyard, according to Shona custom.
These officials included a messenger who notified the king of guests and court procedures and a diviner who guarded the king against satanic assaults, according to historical documents.
One of the most powerful empires in the 14th century AD was the Shona monarchy, which ruled over a region of more than 100,000 square kilometers between the Zambezi and the Limpopo rivers.
More than 18,000 people lived in the Great Zimbabwe, the nation’s capital.
The physical division of the social classes between commoners and the ruling class was one feature of the Shona kingdom.
Trevor Noahis a South African comedian, writer and television host said to be one of the highest-paid hosts in America. He is presently the host of The Daily Show, an American satirical news program on Comedy Central.
Career
Noah started his career playing a minor role in an episode “Isidingo,” a South African TV show when he was only 18 years old and went on to host his own radio show titled ‘Noah’s Ark’ on YFM.
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He also hosted the educational TV program ‘Run The Adventure’ from 2004 to 2006 as well as the gossip TV series “The Real Goboza” in 2007. His versatility in the media space also saw him co-hosting the dating game show “The Amazing Date.”
In addition to his radio and television programs, he also hosted the South Africa Film and Television Awards in 2009, co-hosted the South African Music Awards in 2009 and 2010, and eventually got his own TV show entitled “Tonight with Trevor Noah.”
He also performed as a comedian in programs like ‘The Blacks Only Comedy Show,’ the ‘Vodacom Campus Comedy Tour,’ the ‘Heavyweight Comedy Jam,’ the ‘Cape Town International Comedy Festival,’ ‘Bafunny Bafunny’ and the ‘Jozi Comedy Festival.’ His comedy career also saw him perform renowned comedians like Paul Rodriguez, Gabriel Iglesias, and Russell Peters.
As he became famous in South Africa and across the globe, he began attracting endorsement deals. He also became a recurring contributor on the late-night talk and news satire program ‘The Daily Show with Jon Stewart’. His career reached a milestone when he became the regular host of The Daily Show in 2015.
Career earnings
Noah is one of the highest-paid show host in the world and reportedly has a higher net worth than the likes of Jimmy Kimmel and James Corden. When he was first signed to host The Daily Show, his salary was somewhere around $5-8 million per season. However, in 2017, his salary hit $16 million per season.
His memoir, “Born a Crime” became a best-seller, selling over one million copies from 2016 to 2019 and according to The Hollywood Reporter, he made seven figures from his book deal.
Also, a 2019 profile of Noah by the Hollywood Reporter claimed that he grossed almost $14 million from his comedy tours. In 2018 alone, the platform noted that Trevor grossed $5 million.
According to Celebrity Net Worth, Noah has a net worth of $100 million with his source of worth coming from comedy, endorsement deals and events as earlier noted. In addition, he is also into real estate, splashing $20 million on a Bel-Air mansion in 2019 and flipping it for $21.5 million two years later.
Also, in January 2021, Trevor bought another Bel-Air mansion for $27.5 million and flipped it for $30 million in October of the same year.
Early life
Noah was born to a Black mother and a White father. He was brought up by a fiercely loving and tenacious mother.
He childishly made fun of his mother’s Christianity, to which she was devoted, only to later learn and rely on her ethical compass that saw him through a mischievous rebellion and slightly criminal youth.
Noah earned his smarts the hard way on the streets of Johannesburg’s slum townships. Survival was a matter of learning to navigate the racial and political turmoil.
Coming of age at the moment when apartheid was finally crushed, he was branded an outsider not white and not completely accepted as Black.
Noah slipped comically between racial barriers by fragile deception and duplication, making sure that he came out ahead of the game always. Well mostly.
Little short of a miracle being tossed out of a moving vehicle and surviving, Noah would later be introduced to a brutally abusive stepfather.
He also juggled an education in a vigorously disciplined Catholic School with the chaos of the streets and his own unruly spirit that rejected every social norm.
